You & I~Muke

-Luke-

As I stumble out onto Kais porch, Noah's best friend, the spring air, still cool, nips at my skin and I pull my denim jacket closer around my inked body.

What always makes me smile is the fact that people get so confused by our seasons and months and that kind of crap.

Summer in Australia, from December to February, March to May is Australia's autumn, Australia's winter, from June to August, and Spring in Australia, from September to November.

So currently, it being September, we are only just recovering from winter and spring is only just coming in.

Tipsy on my feet, my vision spinning, I begin to walk home. As the city lights and cars blur around me, I feel the sadness pulling at my stomach and tears begin to form in my eyes.

I hate everything, I really do. The only thing that's bringing me happiness is looking at that stupid coloured haired boy. And I've only known him for two days.

From the second I saw him I knew I liked him, and I can't even say why; it's like he was fresh air in a school full of toxic fog. And I'd give anything to keep breathing something like him. He cleans my lungs and my head and just looking at him, I don't know I cant even explain, just looking at him makes my heart skip a beat.

And I've never felt this way and it hurts in my head and my heart and my chest and I don't know what to do.

He's only been in my life for a few days and I can't get him out of my head, I want to but I can't and I don't understand why this is happening. It shouldn't be happening and if anyone were to see me they for sure, would say I was crushing on him to quick. I don't even know what love is, I've kissed but I've never had sex, I've never felt the need to, especially not with girls, and I've just wanted to wait for the right person, yes, it's unbelievably cliché' but it's also true, I mean, what even is love?

To most people it's making out and shagging and big rings and shiny rings and expensive necklaces, but to me, it's the small things.

The warm hugs, the sleepless nights you spend cuddles up, talking with steaming tea, and the kisses. Not on the lips. But on the cheeks. Or the forehead.

And just those times when someone does that thing, that one bloody thing, and it makes you're heart tingle, all warm and funny, and then you're tummy flutters and you just-

I feel it spilling up my throat and out of my mouth and I throw up in the side of an alley.

I throw up several more times until I'm just dry retching.

In my skull, my brain pounds and I slide down onto the dirty alley floor (not in the sick) and cry.

It must be about five minutes before I pick myself up and walk towards somewhere.

My special somewhere.

It takes about twenty minutes of stumbling and grumbling before the beautiful Australian ocean comes into view and so does my spot, hidden however, by the trees.

I slip off my shoes and socks and wriggle my toes in the sand, its hot grains going between my toes as I continue to walk.

It's my favourite place in the whole world, I think, and as I walk I remember all the nights I've spent alone there, a bottle of vodka in hand as I've watched he sun set and the tears tumble.

*

there were probably mistakes, sorry, and this was short but imma double update, comment and vote ilyyy