You & I~Muke

-Michael-

sorry it took me some time to update, my laptop was douche (ily rlly laptop) but it was all drama, i've been busy with school and i've been busy with other things too! i just haven't been feeling the best and i've been in and out of the doctors bc of some things blah blah 

ngl not particularly proud of this chapter bc it took forever and it's just MESSSY

but bleugh

i tried

ALSO (IMPORTANT!!!!!):

for christmas and/or when i finish the story i don't mind doing a bonus chapter, but does anyone know what they would like it to be on? no worries if not or ya'll don't want it or have no ideas, i'll figure something out- definitely want to do something for you guys as a gift xx

a lil shout out to xouterspacealienx who always comments, votes and supports me, and is really sweet all the time, her story just hit 1k! proud of you! it's such a good story so go give it a read xx

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I must say, this Christmas is definitely not what I expected it to be.

"I d-don't leave," I mumbled, smiling as I fell into his baby blue eyes again. "I have no wh-where to g-go, because you we-were everything I've had."

He went to open his mouth, tell me he's still everything and that he's still here, but I interrupted.

I was never the talker in our relationship but I guess that's rather odd, because if there's anything I've learnt, it's that:

"It was all o-one sided," I stuttered the harsh truth and HIS EYES HIS EYES HIS EYES. Everything about the ocean within them got choppy and stormy and the stars began to die out as each syllable fell off my tongue.

Tragic.

"It's never been one sided! Mikey- Michael, it's always been a joint e-effort, you know it has! Some days you'd give 50%, and I'd give 50%. Others, I'd only be able to give 10, and you'd give 90. But overall, there w-was always 100%, and that's why it was so good."

Growing desperate, he reached out to touch me, to hold me but I flinched away.

"Will we ever be able to g-get that back, Mikey? Because I don't think I can cope w-without you."

I swallowed my pride and clenched my fists together.

"you s-seemed to be d-doing amazingly." Stop yourself stop yourself STOP YOURSELF. "So m-much amazingly that y-you couldn't even visit? C-c-come and t-tell me it's a-alright-"

"You wouldn't tal-talk to me!" a pause. A tear. "and wo-worse? You wouldn't listen! What w-was I supposed to do! j-just sit t-there in silence?"

"You were s-s-supposed to stay!" I screamed, and I knew mum and dad could hear us and I was rather curious as to why they hadn't stopped us. Then I repeated my words, again. Sadder, and more quietly. "You were su-supposed to stay."

Across the table, Luke Hemmings is eating Christmas dinner, sitting next to my father, while mum sits next to me; he tucks in to his food, which by the looks of it, he needs.

Not that I can talk.

I wish I had it in me to eat and be polite and even just force myself, for today atleast after all the effort mum and dad put into making it, but hey, that's me.

I'm selfish.

My fork chases the vegetables on my built up plate, they fall into the puddles of thick gravy and it's not even about being fat, I just am not hungry. I do not feel the need to eat and it seems everyone knows it.