Who is She? [Zalfie]

20...❤️

Zoe

"I just... I don't feel well mum." I mumbled, pulling my covers over my head and holding my breath in order to turn myself pale. It was a trick I had learnt a while ago, that if I hold my breath for the right amount of time, but not long enough to faint, I go deadly pale.

She removed my covers slightly and felt my head before sighing and saying, "Fine, but if you get better later I'm taking you to school."

I nodded before pulling my covers back over my head and trying to fall asleep. In reality, I did have a headache, but I was probably well enough to go to school, this was just one of those days where I really couldn't handle it.

I had a panic attack last night, and expected the feeling of wanting to scream and cry to be gone by the time I wake up, but here I am, lying in bed, not having the motivation to even stand up and look myself to the face.

My mum gave me a look of sympathy before leaving my room and closing my door. I sighed and rolled over, lifting my duvet up enough just to see the picture on my bedside table.

Next to my bed, I kept a picture from a few years ago of me, my mum and my brother. I was around 10 in the picture and my brother was around 14. (Sssshhh, this is my fanfic and I say Joe is older BC why not)

My brother moved over when he was 18, seeing as he wanted to travel, although wasnt succeeding a lot so far. He has been to America only so far, considering that has been his dream holiday since he was a kid.

I smiled at the picture, remembering the last time Joe came over, for my birthday. A few other family members came over and it was just generally great.

That's the worst part about our family, we all live so far away from each other. And what scares me is that they could die any minute, and there's the possibility I wouldn't know for months, considering their communication systems aren't great.

And that also scares me as to, with Joe traveling, what if he got lost on holiday, or something happened to him and no one told us. We wouldn't know until his flight comes back and he's not on it.

And also, it's the scary thought as to if someone died, would I regret my last words to them. Would o regret not seeing them more often? Not being in more contact?

I didn't notice the tears streaming down my face and the lack of breaths I was taking until my mum ran into my room worried.

She wrapped an arm around me and I could hear her words as nothing more than a whisper, seeing as I was more focuses on catching the breaths that refused to come.

"Honey... Listen.... Down.... Need.... Just.... Breath." I couldn't hear her words and I could feel myself starting to shake whilst my mind was bombarded with thoughts and images of death. I allowed myself to collapse onto my mums arms and tried to relax, shutting my eyes tightly.

"Sssssh, calm down...." After a few minutes, her words started to become clearer and I slowly started to find it easier to breath again. I was still shaking but felt more in control of myself.

I felt my mum lift me and and she turned my head to face her, using her thumbs to wipe my few tears away. "It's okay, you're okay. Everything's going to be okay." She gave me a slightly smile before hugging me tightly. "Do you want me to stay with you?" She asked.

I nodded and leant back, smiling at her before lying back down and pulling the duvets back over myself. I soon felt my mum join me under the duvet and wrap a comforting arm around me, her warmth instantly heating me up.

"Your my princess, don't you ever forget that. Without you and Joe, life wouldn't be worth living." I felt her gently kiss my forehead and I smiled, squeezing her tighter.

"I love you mum."

"I love you too sweetie."

Okay the reason this was quite dark was because 1 idk I felt like kinda showing you more about Zoe because it will be important in future, not nessicarily in this book.... But it will be important in the sequelllll......

2 I kinda had a small kinda breakdown earlier and so I'm not in the best mood

Ps, if anyone's saying 'OMG that's nothing like what a panic attack is like' of whatever, stfu

I wasn't writing about a panic attack or anxiety nessicarily, I was just writing about the kind of 'attacks' or whatever that I experience because it what I've expierenced so it's what I write best, get it?

Like, I'm basically writing from experience

Kay?

Kay.

Love you lots like flower tots xxx