In the end

Chapter 34 - Damn you Misha

Another 2 weeks later

~ Sarah Jones POV ~

I was currently walking around my tiny little house (it was a shitty friggen shack) swearing at inanimate objects. I found out that's it's possible to water an herb garden angrily. I was starting to run out of things I couldn't do without but I didn't like going into town if I could help it. I tried to stay away from other people as much as possible. I would never make the same mistakes again, let myself care about people just to have to leave them. I couldn't do it again. He had come out of nowhere, I never expected to fall in love with him.

Thank god I only made this trip about once a month, it was about 6 miles by bike to get into town. On the up side I'm pretty sure at this I could crack open a coconut with just my thighs. I finally gave in and grabbed my backpack and bike resigning that there were just somethings you couldn't grow or make like razors and tampons. The first half mile or so was was the hardest being unpaved and all uphill but after that it was easy. It was my fault for picking somewhere secluded to live. I had made this trip so many times before I practically had it down to a science now. Grab what you need and go. I never in a million years expected this trip to be different. I couldn't have been more wrong.

1 week earlier ~ Jared POV ~

As hard as I tried to avoid everyone these day I shouldn't known by now that my friends wouldn't let me. Now that we had finished shooting season 10 all I really wanted was for the days to pass as quickly as possible until it was time to work again. But I honestly think they must have gotten together and planned it out so I wouldn't have a lot of time alone. Jensen especially saw what happened to me when I had to much time alone with thoughts. I guess it was Misha's week because he showed up at my apartment one day and took it upon himself to shout embarrassing things and bang on the door until I opened it.

"You look like shit." Here we go. "Nice to see you too Mish." He was right of course, most days I stayed in sweats and didn't leave my apartment. "Seriously when was the last time you went outside?" He immediately yanked open the curtains and I cursed him for the unwelcome sunlight. "You can't keep doing this Jare, it's not healthy. Physically, spiritually and emotionally." My automatic response was of course to lie. "I wish you guys would stop worrying about me. I'm fi-" "Bullshit, you're fine. You might be able to lie to you're family or even yourself but not to me. And certainly not to Jensen." I knew there was no point to argue with him, not only because he was relentless but because he wasn't wrong. I knew exactly what I was doing to myself, I just didn't care anymore.

"Well suck it up cause it changes now. You're coming with me next week." My mouth fell open. "Are you fucking crazy?" "Yes" "Misha. I can't just pick and leave. I've... I've got... Stuff and-and things." He kinda crouched down in front of me like you would a 4 year old. "No. You really don't. This, what you're doing, doesn't count. So here's what's going to happen: next week you are coming to Costa Rica for the gishwhes trip. "But I-" "Shut your mouth. This isn't a request." He gave a hug and and started rambling on about other stuff like the conversation never happened. I fleetingly wondered if maybe he didn't have a few other personalities kicking around in his oversized head.

Maybe it wouldn't be that bad, I mean Misha would be busy with gishwhes stuff so I wouldn't be around him all the time.

He wasn't gone 5 minutes before the phone rang. I swear these fuckers had a written schedule. Unplugging the phone was useless, the last time I tried Jensen called my friggen parents. "What?" "Hey Jare. Nice to know you haven't lost that sunny disposition." "I'm sure you know by now that Misha was just here." "That's why I'm calling, I wanted to let you know Jules and I are coming too." Great. I should have known not to get my hopes up. There was no way for me to back out now. The last thing I wanted was my folks 'suggestion' of therapy again. So I went through the steps mechanically, passport, shots, meds. Just carrying out the necessary steps to function.

If I didn't keep going I knew I would break again.