In the end

Chapter 27 - Beauty

~ Bree POV ~ Fri. Nov. 6th

I talked to Jules a bit more before heading home. I wasn't sure if I could even explain my point of view correctly given that I had never heard of Jared before all this. "Jules hun. Don't get me wrong I mean if I were to run into David Bowie I would probably puke then faint. But these guys are just... I dunno, guys. This show, it's just their job. And trust me now that I'm watching it I can definitely see the attraction to them. But you know it's not really to them, it's to the characters. Sam is sweet and sensitive and shy. Jared's like that too, except maybe for the shy part. Sam is quiet and introverted and Dean is wild and crazy. But from what I've seen and heard, Jared and Jensen are the opposite. Jeez, Jare even eats like Dean. They're just like me and you. They just happen to play make believe for a living." Wow I just got really profound. She got uncharacteristically quiet. "Yeah. You're completely right. I never really thought about like that before. So while I can't promise to not be losing it inside, I'll try my best to be cool." I kissed her cheeks. "Hey. It doesn't matter what you do. You could could cover yourself in butter and roll around in the grass. You're my sister remember." We proceeded to have a deep emotional hug fest before I took off (with a new outfit, I thank you) for home.

On the way I replayed in my mind everything I had said to Jules. While I wasn't exactly in her position, I understood where she was coming from. There were definitely people and things that I idolized to the point of obsession, although in my case most of them happened to be dead. Van Gogh, Sylvia Plath, Lennon. Modern times (mostly) held no fascination for me. There was romanticism left in the world, no more epic quests. Maybe that's why I retreated into books and poetry. For me wonder and magic lived in the pages of Tolkien and Shakespeare, in the colours of a Da Vinci or the breath of Nina Simone. I felt like humanity had lost something, that search for beauty in the midst of so much ugliness. The hunger to be more than we were, for what we could be.

I felt old. Older than I should've felt at 25, the weight of it was crushing me. And as much I tried to shut it out, it was always there. During my happiest moments there was this still part of me that couldn't let go. I couldn't forget that night, because I felt like if forgot what happened I would forget them. I think that's why I felt so drawn to Jared, he made me feel safe, like as long as I was with him nothing could hurt me.

Sat. Nov. 7th

I had to admit I was pretty excited about going to Jared's place, I didn't really go out that often, I was more of a hang-out-in-the-backyard-and-drink-beer-with-friends person. Plus Jules was going to be there which was always a bonus. Since her shop starting taking off we didn't get to hang out as much anymore. Speak of the devil. She texted me to let me know she was outside. I grabbed the dessert I had made from the fridge and went downstairs. Jules was that type of girl that would look good dressed in a garbage bag but today, wow. She looked stunning. Her shoulder length hair spilled around her face in soft waves and she was wearing this deep blue maxi dress with a white blazer over top. Man how can one person ALWAYS look so good. "Why do you always have to look better than me?" She held up her hands in a 'I surrender'. "Hey. I keep telling you to come by the shop and let me pick stuff out for you, but noooooo. Besides you look really hot." It wasn't even possible sitting next to someone like her. I had worn the new outfit she had given me but she still looked way better. "I'm sure this has nothing at all to do with who's gonna be there." She just put on her sunglasses. "I dunno what you're talking about." "Uh huh sure."

She connected her phone to the cars Bluetooth and cranked it. Even if I had wanted to say anything she wouldn't have heard me over the pulse of the music. With MGMT playing in the background my thoughts turned of course to Jared. Even after spending the day with him and everything we did (blush) I still got butterflies knowing I was gonna see him soon.

We pulled into the connected parking garage and went inside the building. I stopped at the front desk and told the security guard who I was here to see. "May I see your I.D's please." He picked up the phone and I assumed called upstairs to make sure we were allowed to be here. "Hello sir, I have a Bree Smith and Juliana Van Der Meer to see you. Yes sir." He hung up and motioned to the bank of elevators to the side. "Thank you. You can go right up." There was no one else in the elevator so I turned to Jules and out my arms around her. "You ready J." She took a deep breath. "I'm cool. I got this." The doors open and I led her down the hall stopping in front of his door. I took one last look at my friend who seemed almost too calm considering and knocked on his door.

~ Jensen POV ~ Sat. Nov. 6th

I had picked up steaks,burgers and beer before heading to Jared's place and as usual I was the first one there. It was nice to be able to hang out with all the guys from work and just relax. Jare was puttering around grabbing plates and glasses and making sure there were enough chairs on the balcony for everyone. One by one people started to arrive, first Rich and Rob then Osric. Misha called to say he was gonna be late. There was a soft knock and Jared went to answer it. I heard feminine voices and Jared's deeper one laughing before the door closed. They came around the corner into the living room and my eyes immediately flew to the gorgeous blonde. My god. Jared wasn't kidding. She was beautiful all right. I said hello to Bree and she introduced her friend as Jules. I could see Jared trying to hide his smile when he saw me staring at her. And much to my surprise she stared right back. I remembered Jared mentioning she was a huge fan of the show and a 'Dean girl' but you would never have known it by how cool she was. Her eyes were almost as blue as her dress and they were simply mesmerizing. Calm down Jay. I stood up and gave Bree a quick hug and shook Jules hands. It was steady and warm and she squeezed my hand firmly. Wow, not exactly the delicate flower she looks like. Jared introduced Jules to the rest of the guys and Bree to Osric as she had already met everyone at Misha's party. We all grabbed beers and went to sit outside on the patio. I tried to be stealthy as I quickly took the seat next to Jules but I'm sure I failed like pro. Even Bree had an amused look on her face and she and Jare were whispering to each other. I shot him a glacial look and he just smiled wider. Asshole. Man, it was gonna be long evening.