In the end

Chapter 36 - Let her go

~ Sarah POV ~

Oh god. Oh god. What do I do. I didn't know when I started crying but the wind left cool streaks down my face. All was thinking about was getting away as fast as possible and I wasn't being nearly as slow and careful on the rocky terrain as I should have and as a result had gone down twice. By the time I got home my knees and elbow were a dirty, bloody mess and my palms were scraped to hell and full of gravel.

I collapsed on my bed and tried to catch my breath. I had specifically chosen this area because of how far away it was from any normal tourist location. Normally people didn't venture all the way out here unless they lived here, for gods sake it was 3 hours to the closest airport. My knees were throbbing and I knew I had to clean my cuts and scrapes, the last thing I needed this far from a good hospital was a blood infection. If I 'could' even stay here now that I had been found. Maybe Misha's would just think it was his imagination. I mean he would have no way to look for me right, my name was different now and no one knew me here. I tried to relax and tell myself everything was ok, he would be gone by the time I had to go back into town right. As hard as I tried to make myself believe that I wouldn't be found and I was just panicking for nothing. Still I didn't leave my house for days, I just curled in the dark, trying not to cry as everything started to fall apart again.

~ Jared POV ~

As expected the hike had taken us all day and into the evening and much to my delight didn't leave a whole lot of opportunity for conversations. We got back to the hotel just as the sun was setting and the first thing I did was shower and change. I planned on bailing from dinner hoping my excuses of jet lag and being tired from the hike would be enough to fend off the wolves my friends had become. It wasn't really even bullshit because as soon as sank down onto to the oversized bed I realized how exhausted I felt. I reached for my phone to text Jensen when it started beeping. There were 8 texts and 6 missed calls and I immediately started to panic thinking of my family. They were all from Misha. As I read the first text I felt my lungs constrict and my stomach dropped with a lurch.

I didn't stop to read anymore before I flew out the door. I made it to his room down the hall in three strides and banged on the door with everything I had. "MISHA! OPEN THE DOOR!" Doors up and down the hall started opening but I barely noticed until suddenly Jensen was sprinting towards me with Jules on his heels. "Jare what's wrong? Are you ok, talk to me." I didn't have time to open my mouth before the door in front of me opened. Clif stood there, his usually demeanour was replaced concern but I bolted past him searching for Misha. He was sitting on the couch facing me with an expression that matched Clif's.

Jensen and Jules flew in behind me in a state of confusion bordering on panic. "Jare what the hell is going on?" I ignored him and stood in front of Misha clutching my phone so hard my knuckles were white. "Where is she? When did you-where?" He looked at Clif for a second before speaking. "This morning, in town." It took a few seconds to sink in that this was actually happening. Clif pushed me down to sit on the couch beside Misha. "Someone better tell me what the fuck is going on!" I looked up distractedly to see my best friends scared face and opened my mouth slowly but Misha spoke before I could. "I saw Bree."

Jay and Jules exchanged a look before Jules gasped and her hand flew to her mouth. She grabbed Jays hand and looked back at him with tears in her eyes. I saw the realization spread across his face and he looked at me with shock. Misha turned to me and took a breath before speaking. "Hear me out ok. I don't think you shouldn't look for her." I just stared at him, not even slightly comprehending what he was saying. I had spent 3 years searching for any trace of her. Desperately clinging to any tiny sliver of hope that I would see her again. "I don't understand." He looked really apprehensive, like he didn't want to say anymore. "Look before you say anything I need you to listen to me. I know how you feel about her and you're probably going crazy right now. But Jared I need you to consider something. I think maybe you need to consider that she doesn't want to be found."

I couldn't process the words, I could feel my heart pounding in my ears and heard this whooshing that sounded like strong wind. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I struggled for air and my vision started to swim and go dark. I felt weightless for a moment before I felt someone grab me under my arms and suddenly I saw Jensen looking down at me. He faded into darkness and then there was nothing.

The next thing I knew I was laying on the couch and there was someone wiping my face. I opened my eyes and automatically tried to sit up but was pushed back down. Turning my head I saw that Jay was kneeling on the floor beside me with a cloth in his hand. "What happened." He wiped my face again and I realized I was soaked in sweat. "Jare man, you turned white and started hyperventilating. You uh, passed out." I noticed he had the same look as the others now. I felt ok so I slowly sat up but Jay wouldn't let me stand up. From the couch I could see Clif in the other room speaking rapidly into his phone. Jules was sitting in a chair by the window sipping from a half empty glass. Misha came back into the room and held up his hands before I could say anything. "Just relax and try to breath normally okay, Clif found some information you need to hear."