In the end

Chapter 46 - Today. Right now.

I instantly froze under his touch and looked at him hard trying to speak with my eyes. He just smiled like he didn't have a care in the world and kept right up with the conversation happening around us. He knew exactly what was doing to me the smug bastard. He nonchalantly grabbed a pillow from the end of the couch and placed it over us like he was just absentmindedly playing with it. As soon as he did he slid his hand further up my thigh. I tried to trap his hand from going any higher by clenching my legs together but I might as well have been trying to trap a shark with a butterfly net.

Son of a bitch. Two can play that game. I crossed me legs and leaned into him like I was just relaxing. He wasn't looking so I slipped my hand under the pillow and scratched my nails up his leg. He choked out a gasp and covered it with a cough. "You ok Jare?" I blinked at him all innocently. Instead of answering he narrowed his eyes and his mouth twitched. His hand was gripping my leg almost too tightly as I let my fingers  dance over lightly over him. I could hear is breathing pick up and he shifted on the couch. I leaned over and whispered as quietly as possible. "Just remember you started this." He growled low in response as I dragged the thin blanket from the back of the couch and threw it over us. On the plus side his hand seemed to be staying where it was. But while I was just trying to get back it him the act of making him squirm was starting to affect me too.

That I could make him clench his jaw like that made me feel sexy and powerful. I tried to pay attention to the conversations but my brain wasn't cooperating. All I could feel was the heat from his hand on my skin. I think the wine had made me a little bolder and when I squeezed him lightly under the blanket he let out the sexiest groan I'd ever heard. Unfortunately everyone else heard it too and turned to stare. He stretched out and played it semi-cool. "Sorry guys I guess I'm just a bit tired." I faked a yawn and stood up throwing the blanket back on the couch. Jared was still holding the pillow in front of his lap as we awkwardly fled the room.

After they hurried out of the room Jensen, Jules and Misha sat there looking at each for a few seconds before they all sighed in relief. Then started howling with laughter. "Thank god." "Man that was awkward." "I thought there were gonna just bang each other right there." 

(Meanwhile, down the hall)

In our haste and fumbling to get the door open Jared accidentally dropped the pillow and I started giggling. "Hey don't laugh, you did this." He gestured to his ridiculously obvious arousal. I finally got the door open and shoved him inside before someone saw him. Our laughter quickly died as we remembered that we were completely alone now. He closed the distance between us in a flash and kissed me hard. I don't know who took who's clothes off but suddenly his touch was just.... everywhere. There was no other way to describe it. He made every nerve in my body positively sing. The weight of his body over mine, his hands on my skin. It was almost too much but also nowhere near enough. I knew that no matter how long I lived would never get enough of him.

As we lay there trying to slow our  breathing we looked at each other. He was simply breathtaking. I couldn't get used to it. How soft his hair looked and how is eyes changed colours. I could lay here with him forever and still marvel at the utter perfection of him.  He hadn't shaved in a few days and his stubble was perfect. I found myself wishing he could grow a beard.
God I was so satisfied but staring at him like this made my stomach flip. Suffice to say we didn't get out of bed that day. Again.

It was too warm in the room when I woke up but I still snuggled closer to his furnace-like body. He was always so warm as the layer of sweat covering him proved. He was still asleep on his stomach like always, his hair plastered to the side of his face. I softy brushed his hand back and selfishly it was because I wanted to see his face better.

His eyes fluttered open and he closed them again with a groan. "Hey there McSweaty." He opened his eyes fully and raised his eyebrows while I laughed at my own terrible joke. "Hey it's like a thousand degrees in here." I propped myself up and gave him a bullshit face and he smiled sheepishly. "Ok fine I sweat a lot. It's only because I'm oozing with love for you." He pulled me closer to him and rubbed his face on my back. "Jared, ugh get off me you sweaty freak." "Never!" He pulled the sheet off us and threw it on the floor and rolled on top of me. "There now your just as sweaty as me." Holy crap. It was like having a fridge fall on you. "Jare- can't... breath." "Oh shit." He flung himself off me and started apologizing profusely. I just laughed at him. "It's nice to know that if the need ever arises you can double as a steamroller." He still looked guilty as hell so I kissed him until he relaxed.

He pressed his forehead to mine and whispered softly. "Marry me." I giggled and held up my hand. "Ummm." "Today. Right now." My mouth fell open. "Wait. I... what." He was completely serious. "We're getting married right? I want you forever. Why not start right now?" I couldn't think. I wanted nothing more than to jump out of bed and run to where I would become his wife. I couldn't think of any reason not to. I had everyone I loved here with me. But Jared didn't. "No."  For a moment his face fell and it broke my heart. "No, let me tell you why. If it was just about you and I, I would already be out the door. Running." He smiled and I saw the tension drain from his face. "But I know how much your family means to you and I won't take that away from them, or you." He just kind of stared it me not speaking. "What." I felt so exposed, which shouldn't bother me considering just how "exposed" I've been with this man. He took my face in his hands and just held it never once looking away. "Amazing." I flushed immediately of course and looked down. How he could still make me blush was almost embarrassing. He tilted my face up forcing me to look at him. "You are. This-." He squeezed my face with lightest of touches. "This, is why you are amazing, who you are." Dammit. "You, are not making this easy." He chuckled and kissed me. Ending the conversation for a while.