The innocent life of an awkward teen(originally 'My Rants')

No One

Lunch was a nightmare, him, I'm really sorry I keep bringing him up, but I haven't (sort of) got hurt by him yet, but until I really do, I won't stop thinking about him.

Lunch, oh my, but I might have brought this one on myself. I asked him why he keeps his crush such a secret, but he just said, "I don't know", like it's no big deal, we kept bugging him until my friend Ethan brought something up.

Ethan: Because he will be violating Mason's property.

We were all in shock, nobody knew what to say. Then he (him) was called up to the stage. Kayla said my face turned all red when Ethan said that, yep I screwed it up. I went to the bathroom to go cool down a little bit not knowing what to think, I was upset, and angry all I once, I wanted to cry, I was dropped (had to read my last rant to get that). When I came out of the bathroom, Becca and Kayla stood there, waiting for me, they started to ask if I was okay, I was fine (kind of), it hurt inside, but I can't make him like me, he can like whoever he wants, but I just wish it was me.

We came back to table, he (him) told us that Ethan was joking, and we all turned to Ethan who had a grin on his face (NOT FUNNY ETHAN). He said he was going to tell Becca who his real crush was, then Becca walked away (to find me). He said, now there here, pointed to Kayla and I, so we left. We walked to the bathroom.

Me: He made us leave
Kayla: He made you, leave
Pointing out that she thought that he likes me.

Becca came to the bathroom 2 minutes later, she had a sad look on her face, that wasn't a good sign. Kayla and I eagerly looked at her wanting to know who it was. She gave out a big sigh, "no one", was all that came out of mouth.

Kayla: He's lying
Becca: I can tell when people are lying, he wasn't lying.
Me: He has to be be lying
Yet the only one lying was me, as much as I want to believe that he was lying, something inside me was telling me that he wasn't.

On the way to algebra, I started getting a headache, a bad one too. I felt like I had to squeeze the life out of my binder, and I was thinking the binder would protect me, I was starting to feel insecure about myself.

Again writing this is giving me stomach pain, all this crush stuff is a bunch of crap, but I want it so badly.

I have to go do homework now, peace
~Kayla