Rebel (SVU Fanfic)

29

Sorry Love, Your Baby Girl is taking forever to update! I'm kinda stuck on what to write next! Any suggestions, lemme know, but I'm planning on putting that story on hold until I finish this one, unless I can come up with something! 😭

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"I don't want to do this," Nicole told them.

"I'm doing this too," Olivia said. "It's not a punishment."

"I just don't want to."

"Nicole, we both need help. There's nothing wrong with-"

"How many girls get to experience their father throwing them into a wall? I'm gonna guess zero!"

"A larger number than you can think. There's 7 million people in the world."

Nicole rolled her eyes, trying not to bite. All but her right middle finger have been completely bitten down. If she would even let her guard down for a second, she'd need to get more band-aids.

Luckily, Huang was walking out of his office now. Nicole looked up at him, though he wasn't much taller than her. He had a warm smile, the atmosphere more comfortable than expected.

"Hi, Nicole, I'm Dr.Huang," he introduced himself. Nicole was so relieved he didn't reach out for a handshake. She was so embarrassed when it came to her fingernails.

"Hi," the young teen replied nervously.

"Let's go and talk. Liv, are you coming with?"

Olivia looked at her daughter as if to silently ask if she wanted her there or not. She shook her head, just barely, and went alone.

Nicole sat on the couch and the doctor closed the door. He sat across from her.

"So, I just want to start off by you telling me about yourself. Your life."

"Wouldn't you already know?"

"Well, I don't really ever talk to your mother. Occasionally about a profile, but nothing else. So tell me."

"Well, um...I grew up in Jersey. I think I had a normal life. A brother and sister, mom and dad. Lots of friends. Got good grades. No financial struggles or anything like that. But my dad...I dunno after awhile he got weird."

"Weird how?"

"Forcing me to stay home and watch my siblings, said he had to go out, 'but don't tell Mom!', started yelling at me over random things. Wasn't as happy as he used to be."

She shrugged. The doctor urged her to keep going. Keep talking. Anything to get her to keep talking.

"After I noticed that, my parents started to fight. A lot. I would wake up with my siblings at my bedside crying. Or I'd wake up and go get them. We stuck together."

"Were any nights particularly worse than others?"

"Well obviously. Some were just little things they said that bugged the other. Sometimes it was screaming matches."

"Is there a night that sticks out in your mind?" Dr.Huang asked.

Instantly, Nicole's last good finger went to her mouth. The psychiatrist let her do it, knowing if she spilled her guts, it just might be enough to stop it.

"The last night they ever fought was the worst night ever. I remember vividly being scared."

"Why?"

This time, Nicole remained silent. She wanted nothing more than to flee. Rush past her mother and never return. But she knew she'd never be able to get up.

"This is all completely confidential. Nothing you say goes to your mother. At all."

She didn't believe him, but thought it through. What was the worst that could happen? People already knew about her father and the police were already involved.

"M-My dad. He...well first I woke up and they were just arguing. As per usual I let my brother in my room and got Paige from her room. I tucked them both into my bed and heard all the things my parents were saying. It was terrible. But Paige started going to sleep and Zach had my headphones on to block out the noise. After maybe...15 minutes or so I heard a thump. I wasn't sure what it was so I went to look. My dad was pushing and hitting my mom. After I called my mom's old work partner I set my phone up to record it all."

She stopped talking. As her thoughts ran over what happened that night, she had flashbacks to testifying against her father. Everyone watching her. A group of jurors taking in every. Single. Word. She. Said.

Just like the man in front of her was doing.

Tears, she could get through those. He offered her tissues, but it didn't help. Her chest got tight, her vision blurred. And the only thing she could hear was her uneven breathing.

"Keep going," Huang instructed her. "It's the only way to get better."

And it was true. They had enough evidence against Peter already at the trial, but her testimony was still wanted. She didn't make it past here, all those months ago. They deemed her too emotionally unstable to stand trial, a form of PTSD. It went away when her father did, until he came back to her mind, at this moment.

She nodded and breathed. In and out, she told herself. In and out.

"He had a knife. He cut my mom's stomach. And when he went at her again I freaked. I yelled at him to stop and ran to him. I tried to gouge his eyes out. Kick him, punch him, anything to get this all to stop. And it did stop. After he...h-he..."

"He what?"

She has been holding her breath, but let it out when her lungs starting up again.

"He threw me! Literally threw me into the wall. I was knocked out. And that's all I remember until the morning I woke up after surgery. And now...now I'm scared that I have that anger. I'm made of him. I don't want to be made of him! He's a disgusting old prick and I wish I was never made of him! Sometimes I just...I just I was never born!"

And then she disappeared. Her already dehydrated body released a monsoon of tears. And there wasn't an end to the storm in sight.