Words I Never Said (Luke korns fanfic)

Chapter 18

Madelyn's POV

The water hit's me and I stand there forgetting that I'm in a rush, I really don't care anymore. I cry and it feels good. But it doesn't help. Nothing can help the pain I'm feeling, this beating pain coming from my heart, it feels like every 5 seconds my heart is being stabbed into and torn out of my chest. He always makes me feel so special and amazing but now he's hurting me and making me feel like I've never felt before, hurt. I've been hurt before but never this demanding. Never. Soon the water that is hitting my back begins to turn cold, I wash my hair and body quickly and get out, I get ready for dance that I'm dreading to go to, I stand in front of the mirror and stop crying for a few seconds, I look at my previous makeup that is clearly running down my face, I take a makeup wipe and wipe as much of it as I can get off, then I throw it away and re apply makeup, while I am I keep biting my lip trying to keep tear's back so it won't start up again, once I finish my makeup I look at myself in the mirror and lose it, I fall onto the ground and lay in a ball on the floor in my dorm room in front of the mirror. I sob so hard making me clutch my chest and can barely breathe

"Madelyn??" Jenny rushes over to me quickly when she walks in the room dropping her bag behind her, she drops to her knees beside me and I shake my head crying

"Hun what's going on what's wrong??" She says hugging me tightly and stroking my hair

"he he he" I say trying to get out words but it doesn't work

"Madelyn, breathe, talk to me" she says

"He's leaving" I manage to get out between sobs

"Luke?" She asks and I scoot away from her and against the dresser, I lean my head back and stare at the ceiling crying, she stares at me frowning and grabs her phone dialing a number I look over at her and shake my head

"Sh" she says to me and continues to hold her phone up to her ear

"Hello" I hear a crying male on the other end

"Lucas Thomas Korns, spill it. What's going on?" She says going motherly on him. I try to hold back my tears so he doesn't hear me. I hear him sniffle and sigh.

"Nothing's going on I'm just going to another college" he says

"What about Madelyn?? Does she mean anything to you?" She practically screams into the phone and I have to try to get her attention to let her know yelling isn't the brightest thing to do, she of course ignores it and continues blabbering on the phone.

"Yes. I care about her more than anyone could ever dream of" he says starting to cry again

"Well then why are you leaving??"

"She doesn't love me" I make out through his cries

"Luke. She's literally sitting in our dorm room a complete mess. Sobbing so hard she can't breathe, clutching her chest and listening to sad songs, her face is pretty much black with runny makeup from crying. Don't ever tell me she doesn't love you."  She says and on one hand I want to yell at her for telling him that but on the other hand she's completely right and he deserves to know I love him, how does he think I don't love him?? I love him so much I can't put it in words, that's probably
Why he doesn't think I love him because I never tell him I do.. But I really really do.

"I have to go pack. Tell her she'll find someone better" I hear and then the phone hangs up. Jenny looks at me and I stare right past her at a wall tying to keep my anger huddled up inside

"Go.." She says

"What?" I say clutching my fists and turning to look at her

"Go catch him.. Go tell him how much you love him,. I'll cover for you with the whole dance thing.. Just go kiss him and never let him go.." She tells me not looking at me in the eyes. I nod slowly and stand up not even caring that my
Face is half black thanks to the messed up makeup, I run to the floor of his dorm and to the door, the dorm room door is already propped open, people are dragging boxes out of his room and out of the whole building, I peak my head In the door way and see him in a corner packing up a box, I walk over to him and turn him around to face me and I lean up and kiss him, I kiss him passionately and long, he tries to pull away at first but then goes with it. Finally I need to breathe so I pull away and look at him

"Luke I will do anything for you to stay, I-I'm sorry for whatever I've done, baby I love you, I love you so so much, I love you more than words can even form, I love you more then anything, horses, dance, grades, Lucas I love you, I need you, I need to see your beautiful face every morning bringing me coffee and I need your kisses, I need your company. I need your good advice, your movie dates and your cuddles, I need my best friend, my other half, my boyfriend, my first love.. Please.. I'm begging you.. Do not leave.." I say not even realizing I'm crying.. Yes again.. I cry a lot ok he means the world to me..

I look at him and he just kinda looks at me

"Please" I say

After a few seconds go by

"Please.." I say again but more quietly

"I'm sorry.. I have to go" he says picking up the box and starts walking to the door

"WHAT? your meaning to tell me this relationship met nothing to you?? We had sex Luke! Does that mean nothing to you?? Does it mean nothing to you that I am here crying!! Begging you to stay!!" I stare at him and wipe my eyes angrily.

"Maybe you should go back to your dorm or to dance. You'll move on Madelyn. I'm just a boy" he says

"Don't you get it?? You are not just a boy!! I will never get over you!! I love you! I will never.. Ever.. Stop loving you.." I say and he sighs and walks out of the room

I stand in the half empty dorm room besides Mikey's side. Alone. Again.