Colin.
He was the only thing on my mind for the remainder of the day. As the day with Liz drew closer to an end, I felt that suffocating feeling in my chest. It's not that I couldn't be separated from her, because it's been that way for three years at least. But, once my mind stopped being engulfed in all of those fun times we used to have, I knew that I'd soon be engulfed with the unbearable memories of Colin and the past.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I am soo happy that Colin's finally happy, because that's all I ever wanted for him. But, even though it's selfish, I can't help thinking how bad I want him to not have a fiancée. It's selfish, yes, but I can't imagine, I could never imagine him with another woman. Just to think of his arms around her, his lips on her forehead, his lips on hers, him.. inside of her. It all just feels so wrong!
I still love him, and I can't deny that. When I found out that he was with someone else, it was like my heart stopped for a few seconds. He was the only guy that I have ever loved, and he'll probably be the only guy that I love that way. Although I broke his heart, I couldn't help but hope that he felt the same way. Seeing him move on was like a stab to the heart, or a punch in the gut. Basically, it's indescribable.
While I was getting ready for my date with Lucas, I felt like my mind was everywhere but here. When I finished my attire, I looked like a clown. Literally. I had to undress and call Lexi over to help me, not that I wanted to, but I really needed the help. I was useless to myself, and if she could help, then I'd take it.
"So.. what do you think?" Lexi asked as she just put the final touches on my hair.
I bit my lip in anticipation, "I dunno, I'm scared to look."
Lexi's idea of fashion was not, I repeat, was not, my idea of fashion. While she preferred crop tops, skirts, and Louis Vuitton pumps, I preferred jeans, a comfy tee, and converses/boots. I don't know, I just never had the desire or want to go all out. But, to have her dressing me for a date, that was risky.
"Oh, come on. You look great, I promise." She urged.
"I'll be the judge of that."
Standing in front of my full body mirror, I slowly peeled my eyes open. And what I saw standing there was kind of absolutely perfect. She had picked me out a white lace dress with a small brown belt around the waist, covered by a light pink blazer since it was getting chilly, gold earrings -borrowed from her-, my hair was curled to perfection, better than I could've done it. Not to sound cocky, but I thought that I looked gorgeous.
"This is the best I could do, since you couldn't tell me where you were going. It's the best of both worlds; it's elegant, just in case he does something fancy for you, and it's casual, in case he wants to get rough, tough, and dirty." She reached down to the floor and picked up a pair of brown, leather, calf-high boots. "Hence the boots!"
I took the boots from her and put them on. "Thank you so much, Lex... it looks great."
"You look great. Now," she clapped her hands together, "go have fun! But don't you dare mess up my masterpiece!"
I laughed, hugging her. "What is this for?" She asked, hugging me back.
"I don't know. I think I just needed a hug."
She hugged even tighter then, "Better now?"
"I'll answer that as soon as my lungs get the air back into them!" I strained out. For such a petite girl, she had a vice grip.
"Sorry," she laughed as she released me, "come on, you're date's awaiting!"
Grabbing my hand, she pulled me into the living room, where both Drake and Lucas were talking.
