I woke up the next morning in a daze. I had this scratchy feeling in my throat from vomiting pretty much all night. My head was throbbing with a forming headache in sight. The world around me seemed to be spinning in every direction imaginable. I tried lifting my head up, but that only intensified the feeling of nausea, so I laid my head back down on the cold, tile floor. I took deep slow breathes, fighting hard to regain my composure. It wasn't getting me anywhere though. I squeezed my eyes shut and swallowed hard when I felt the bile rising.
I couldn't figure out what was making me feel this way. The only time I felt like this was when I took one too many pills when I was with Blake. Though, that didn't explain anything. I didn't take any pills last night. The only other thing that I could correlate to this feeling to was fear. Blake horrified me, so much so that every time I thought about him, I'd get a chill in my spine. Now, it's the same way with Drake.
I thought that I had gotten past this fear with him. In the beginning when he came back, all the fear that I felt towards him was channeled and shown to him by my anger. But now, since all the anger I had for him subsided, there's nothing there but fear. He scares me. He can play with me however he wants; and I'll always be stupid enough to end right back up with him. I'm too much of a coward to ever stand up for myself when it comes to Drake. I could handle myself when it comes to other people, but when it comes to Drake, I curl up into a ball.
The light sound of rain still pattered against the roof and side of the house. Yet, even through the rain I could hear the palms of someone's bare feet walking on the floor. My heart began to speed up, but my body continued to lie seemingly dead on the floor. I didn't want Drake to see me like this, because he caused this. If I gave him the satisfaction of seeing how he affected me, who knows what he'd do then.
So, slowly, I lifted my head up, gave myself time to adjust to the spinning and feeling of nausea. Then I made my arms push my body up, it was harder than usual since my arms barely had any strength. I was shaking and breathing a little irregularly by the time I was up and leaning against the tub. Drake walked in right after that, drowsiness clear on his face. His hair was disheveled, but in a tamed manner. His face was flushed with a light pinkness. His eyes were as green and intimidating as ever.
I contemplated running, yet I didn't. My bottom lip began to quiver again, not from the cold either. He stood and watched me with an unreadable expression on his face. I tried to keep a poker face going strong, but my walls started to break as he began to walk closer. It was in that moment that I wished that I could've replaced Drake with Blake. Blake always caused physical pain; that hurts for the moment but eventually goes away. Drake causes emotional and mental pain; those hurt the longest and even when they begin to heal, they will forever be branded into your memories.
"You're shaking." He said like it was the most obvious thing, once he was crouched down to my level. I wanted to say something back, but no words would come out. I just stared at him. He dragged his hand tenderly across my cheek, I shut my eyes and struggled to remain still. "Are you cold?" Slowly and hesitantly, I nodded my head 'yes.' "Come on."
He grabbed me by my upper arms to pull me up, out of instinct more than anything, I flinched. He paused for a second, repositioned where his hand was, loosened his grip, and pulled me to my feet. I tried to side-step away from him, but his arm around my waist prevented me from doing anything.
He ended up bringing me to the living room, where he sat me on the couch. Drake walked to the closet that was in the hallway, and came back with a quilt that he wrapped around me. Truth be told, I wasn't cold, not in the slightest. But whatever would keep him off my case was fine enough with me.
"I'm gonna go make you some tea, okay?" He said softly. I nodded again, having still not found my voice just yet. Once he was gone, I finally let out the breath that I was holding in.
