Colin and I stood there for I don't know how long. He whispered those sweet nothings in my ear, while cradling me in his arms. I kept my eyes shut the entire time, thinking that if I opened them I'd wake up from this dream, and frankly, I didn't want it to end. I'm pretty sure that neither of us thought about our significant others. That's not meant in a bad way, but we were both just holding onto the feeling of being in each other's arms.
"Can I be honest?" Colin asked me in a monotonous voice. I nodded my head on his chest, not trusting my voice to not waver.
"I really don't wanna let you go right now." He tried to give this laugh to play it off, but I could hear the sincerity and sadness behind it.
I squeezed my eyes closed tighter, knowing exactly how he felt right now. "Then don't." was my answer. I didn't want him to let go either. Because I knew that once he let go of me, then I'd be faced with the harsh reality of life. I knew that this little.. safe haven or whatever you'd call it, would be destroyed, and I'd probably never get it back.
"I'm sorry." I held tighter onto his shirt, making sure that he could go absolutely nowhere.
"Don't be." His face nuzzled in the crook of my neck, another thing he always did when we were together.
Again, we stayed like that for another long period of time. Although Colin's back was more than likely cramping from the position that he was bent in, and my toes screaming in pain from being on my tippy-toes for so long, we couldn't find it within us to let go. That was until we heard shuffling down the street. We hurriedly released each other, and just in time to see nothing. We both shared a knowing look before laughing lightly.
"Come here." Colin said gently, holding out his hand for me to hold. I gingerly grabbed it, and he lead us out of the gazebo and onto the grass. I confusedly frowned at him, but he ignored that to remove his jacket and lay it on the ground. Once again he grabbed my hand softly, and pulled me to the ground with him. I sat on his jacket, while he sat on the bare ground. I looked at him, and he smiled that smile.
Grabbing onto my shoulders, he lead us carefully down, until we were lying flat on our back. I grabbed onto his hand, lacing our fingers together. His warm hand sent tingles through me. Together, we quietly stared at the stars. Well, I stared at the stars, Colin stared at me.
"One of the happiest moments you'll ever have in your life, is when you find the courage to let go of something you can't change." Colin murmured, his eyes trained on me.
I tore my gaze away from the billions of shining stars to look into his eyes, "What was that?" I whispered.
His forehead creased, "My grandma used to say that all the time, though I never understood it until now." He turned his body to where he was facing me completely, "Jay, are you happy?"
I smiled. Looking down at how our hands are shamelessly laced together, and the fact that even after everything that happened all those years ago, we could still jump back into how we were. At this moment, I'm ecstatic.
"I'm happy," I reassured. "Are you?" I queried, softly rubbing his hair.
"I am right now." He replied.
"Not just right now. I want you to be happy, and if Brooke doesn't make you happy, then maybe you need to change it, Colin.. I'm serious." I said, looking directly into his eyes.
He sighed, and laid back on his back again. "I can't just leave. What about Hayden? I'm the only father she knows, and I don't want her going through life having multiple men as her 'father.' I love that little girl, and I can't just leave her."
I chuckled lightly as I continued stroking his hair, "You haven't changed a bit. Listen, I understand what you're saying, but sometimes you have to put your feelings before others. Brooke isn't for you, and you need to accept that. You need to go on, and find out who is though. Negotiate things with Brooke, so that you'll still be able to see Hayden. I'm more than sure she'll let you."
He released a throaty groan, "Why are you so right?" He grumbled.
I giggled, "I don't know, but-"
I heard my phone ding, indicating that I had a text. Digging in my pocket to pull out my phone, I saw that it was from Lucas.
'Where are you?'
"Who is it?" Colin question.
"Lucas," I smiled apologetically, "I'm sorry."
"It's fine." He laughed, standing to his feet and then helping me up.
"Well, Ms. Harris, I had a wonderful," he looked at his watch, "forty-three minutes with you." He stated in a fake posh accent, and a courteous handshake.
"A handshake, Mr. Landon?" I copied with the fake accent, humming in approval, "Maybe you have matured." I accepted his handshake, making him laugh and pull me into a hug.
"I love you." He whispered in my ear. My heart tried to jump out my chest, but I took slow, deep breathes to calm it down.
"Always." I replied, hugging him back.
The phone dinging in my pocket made us pull away abruptly, again.
"I guess you should get going. Lucas is getting pre-tty impatient." He joked, rocking back and forth of his heels. I laughed, reaching over and slapping him on the arm playfully.
"Oh hush."
Slowly, we both made our way back to Liz and Derek's house. Neither of us wanted this to end, because once it did, what else would we be able to look forward to? The feeling was lousy. It was the type where you're really looking forward to something, then it happens, and it's like.. what now?
Upon arriving back at the house, I noticed that some of the cars that were previously parked in the yard, were now gone or leaving. It was a little over ten, I expected them to be gone earlier if we're being honest. Colin and I both stopped outside the threshold of the door, and looked at each other expectantly.
"I guess this is goodbye." I quietly stated, sliding my hands into my jacket.
"For right now, yes. But, I'm here almost everyday, and if you are too, then.. we're bound to bump into each other again." He laughed nervously, "It was really nice seeing you again, Jay." He sincerely said, lightly grabbing my hand in a friendly manner.
I gave a small smile, "I'm glad that we can both say the same thing."
He nodded his head towards the door, "Come on. Let's do the two minute thing so that no one gets suspicious."
"I never got why people did that." I snorted, before walking inside and leaving Colin to himself.
*Till next time..
