September 17th, 2010, at 3:54pm
Columbus, Ohio
Esther Park
Josh sat silently against the tree, a worn out journal sitting on his lap and a pencil case filled with colorful pens sat beside him. This is how he spent most of his afternoons after school. This is where he was most at peace.The only place where his demons (luckily) could not reach him, the ones that lived and the ones that live.
He sighed as he wrote small notes, events, feelings, and thoughts onto his red leather journal. Many things made up the contents of this journal, things that Josh rather keep to himself.
He fears the day someone would find it or steal it from him and read what's inside it. He wants to stop writing every time he starts but that meant he'd have to swallow the rest of this thoughts and feelings that he wanted out. This was really complicated.
On the journal were also quite descriptive paragraphs of his bullies and his demons. He wrote onto them what he went through with the both of them, his feeling towards them, and what he and his life would be like if neither existed. He just wishes it'd all stop, but it hasn't. None of it has. It was truly an endless cycle of misery and torture.
The bullying, the taunting, the beatings haven't stopped yet, as mentioned earlier. Josh almost made them stop, though, made it all stop, but his irrational fear of death and the great beyond snapped him out of his trance, and made him drop the gun.
In some ways, Josh wishes he had pulled that Godforsaken trigger, but another side of him says that it'd be better to live this hell than go to it and meet what has haunted him his whole life up to now.
Josh put his favorite red pen back into the pencil case, zipped it up, and stood. He stretched and yawned, feeling the afternoon drowsiness take over him. But the feeling of tiredness was mutual by now, He was already tired of everything.
He walked through assortments of trees, bushes, and flowers that littered the park he's always gone to. Everything was so beautiful, and sadly, that beauty never lasts. Nature was a cycle of destruction and creation itself. For example, when winter comes, it kills all the beauty of the greenery replacing with a dull, white "wonderland". But soon after winter comes spring, bringing warmth and the rebirth of the stunning greenery that was once killed by the vicious hand of winter.
That was typically what the fifteen-year old's life consisted of. A vicious cycle of destruction and creation. His pain brought on new things, and sometimes there times of peace, though those lasted hardly anything. Still something, though, still something...
He trudged on through the deserted area, his head lowered down. But something made him stop. He looked around, eyebrows furrowed, and the beat of his heart quickening. He felt as if someone were watching him. He's felt things like these before, but this was different. The presence of whatever-it-was, was more menacing, more powerful, and definitely not nice.
The strange, malignant aura made him quiver slightly in fear, his heart beat faster, and his hands sweat. Josh swallowed hard, and decided to ignore it, knowing deep down that that was a bad idea. He kept makings way out of the park. Again, something stopped him.
An unbearable pain made it's way to his chest, making him feel as if his lungs were being pressed against it. His ribcage ached in pain, and he remembered the pain, ever so familiar. He had gotten beaten up badly a few days ago, these were the places he was badly wounded in. But why? Why was it hurting so much now, when the pain had subsided? It's as if this...this thing want him to feel the pain all over again.
Then a soft, yet menacing, voice that was cracking in odd place whispered in his ear, two words that made chills run down his spine. "Be careful."
Those two words. Those two, that may seem meaningless, words made Josh's week literal, living hell. He couldn't sleep, and he was vomiting constantly, and crying every now and then more than usual. His parents grew worried, but when he went to the doctor or the hospital, they would always say there was nothing wrong with him. But there was something clearly wrong with Josh. Why can't they see it?
Josh thought he might've lost it completely. The whole week, in pain and in practical depression, the image of the boy with no eyes would keep flashing behind his eyelids and inside his poor mind. This time clearer and in fuller detail, accompanied with shrill screams and horrible wailing sounds.
Josh doesn't know how much longer he'll be able to take this.
a/n: i cant wait for you guys to see how this'll end up!! eek! love you guys and remember to vote and comment!
{unedited}
