I was always aware of him. Whenever he walked into a room or was around nearby, I could feel his presence. It was hard to miss him. He was just there, you know? With his guitar strapped behind his back, broad shoulders and brooding gaze. He looked sad, mostly, if not all of the times I saw him. But the times I did see him smile, my heart bloomed and I felt jealous of the person who was able to make that happen.
He skipped classes, lots of them and when he did attend them, he was always disinterested, bored; as if he had better things to do. But he wasn't ignorant. And when he did pay attention in class, his argument was thoughtful, emphatic and well informed.
There were always rumours flying around about him, most of them were always true. So far he had been suspended for getting high, picking fights and also once for being caught getting it on in school. I didn't know how to feel then. With him, things never added up. The songs he wrote were heartbreakingly beautiful, the passion he had for playing the guitar was admirable, he gave people so much respect and he was just always so sensitive and in tuned to the needs of others. I know this because I talked to him one day.
We often made eye contact in between classes. He never used to look away and neither did I. I couldn't help it. Eventually, we fell into an easy conversation. He was a friend of a friend of a friend. Which was funny to be honest because he didn't have any friends except for the different girl I saw with him each day.
Needless to say, he didn't remember me or atleast my name because he did remember our brief encounter. Because a few months later, he asked the same friend who I was because I looked familiar. I remember feeling so excited just by the little amount of attention he gave to me. The next day, he smiled at me and said hi. I think I managed to choke out a hi as well, I'm not quite sure though.
I didn't hang out with him after that one time. I wanted to. But it just didn't happen. There was so much I wanted to ask him. So many things I had no right to ask but I still wanted to anyway.
Where did you learn how to play the guitar? Where did you get the inspiration for your songs? Are you happy? Are the rumours true? Is it true that your only girlfriend cheated on you with your bestfriend?
I found out later that the answer to the last question was yes.
(end of part i)
