At the start of this month last year and the year before that, or actually at the beginning of every September, I was so happy. I was literally buzzing with excitement and busy having daydreams of what this school year would hold for me. I wasn't a fan of studying. It was just getting back to school, catching up with my friends and the latest gossip, trying out new clubs, seeing new faces, welcoming old faces and of course seeing your crush again that made me feel that way.
But things have changed, right under my nose and I didn't even realize it. I just started college a few days ago and I hate it, every single second of it. But what surprises me is that I am the only one feeling this way. Everyone went about as usual on the first day. Cheery and excited, talking non stop about everything and anything that came to mind. It made me sick hearing them complain about how they didn't get a single second of sleep last night; it made me wonder how they all seemed perfectly fine while I struggled to even function.
Maybe the real problem here is sleep. My eye-bags are more visible than anyone else and my eyes were already stinging before I sat in my first class. During breaks, I poked at my potato salad and pretended to listen to my friends talk about the same thing they talk about every first day and did my best not to doze off. Well, maybe its not the sleep then. Maybe its the monotony of everything. Maybe I expected too much out of college.
Or maybe I'm blowing everything out of proportion. It'll turn out okay eventually right? It'll get better... After going horribly for a week. What if it doesn't though? I haven't ever felt this way and I don't like it. I don't even feel like myself anymore. What's happening to me? I just wish I could fast forward things and skip this month even if it means not being able to appreciate how the colour of the leaves change or how the nip in the air gets stronger. I wish I could sleep it off. Like I'm going to sleep off the blooming headache I have.
Right then. Wake me up when September ends. Because I have had enough of it already.
