Ryan's POV
It was at least an hour before Abi came into to the kitchen, she was wearing grey pants a red blouse and some red Louboutin heels, her hair was down "How did she take it?" I wondered as I continued to give Lillia her bottle, she had woken for her second one this morning.
"Not great but she's going to come with me to my Mom's after my meeting with Dylan" I nodded and watched as Abi picked up Jacob out of his crib, it's amazing how quickly he is growing...They both are.
"Did you want me to come with you?" I asked and Abi frowned.
"Yeah" she said softly as she cuddled Jacob, seeing her holding our son in her arms like this made me fall in love with her all over again "I need you to be with me at Moms" I nodded my reply, Abi kissed Jacobs head and laid him back in his crib.
×-×-×
Leroy help me carry the twins inside, we had left them in their car seats so it was easier to battle through the press. Around 30 paps were outside the office building when we arrived. I waited with Leroy in the waiting room while Abi went in to see him.
I sat beside Leroy as we both watched the twins sleeping, the car seemed to send them to sleep "Do you think we should be worried?" Leroy broke the silence with a thought I had been thinking myself.
"I was wondering the same thing myself" I replied "She broke down this morning, but now she is like a different woman. I just wish I could figure out what was going on"
"Forgive me for speaking out of line, but I get the impression she is building a barrier around herself to block it out" Leroy frowned "It's only a matter of time before she will come undone"
"No it's fine, if I'm honest that's my biggest fear" I speak honestly "I know she is a strong person, but she can be so unpredictable when it comes to things like this. At the hospital Stella told me to keep her close, I'm not sure how I am going to do that though"
"Well that's what I'm here for" Leroy's reply shocked me "I remember the first day Frank took me on to be her bodyguard, he told me to treat her like a daughter when he couldn't be there and that's what I have tried to do. Ever since she was 14 years old"
"I bet she hasn't made that easy for you?" I smile as I think of how awkward and stubborn my wife could be.
"Not entirely, but it's honestly been a pleasure. Seeing her grow, she is quite remarkable" Leroy spoke lovingly of Abi, his smile was full of pride. However I couldn't shake the impression he had something else to add.
"Answer me honestly do you think she could go back there again?" I asked. Whether I cared to admit it or not addiction was a side of my wife that I had been lucky enough never to witness. But I had made a vow to her that I would stand by her during the bad times too and I suppose as crazy as it sounds I kind of wanted to see just how bad it could get.
×-×-×
After Abi's meeting it was good to see her coming out smiling, in fact she was giggling "What?" I smiled as I stood up.
"You guys look like Daddy daycare sitting out here with the twins" Abi laughed "The parts mine" she said gently as I kissed her "Wait til you hear who got the supporting role"
"Go on" I reply when I see the smirk on Abi's face, where it was had obviously amused her.
"Jason Mamoa" Abi sniggered and I couldn't hide my amusement either, Abi had worked with him before in a period drama and he towered over her.
I noticed Leroy was laughing too now aswell, he hid his smile when Abi looked round at him "Not you aswell" she grinned widely.
"ABIGAIL" a make voice burst through the door urgently and a swarm of around 8 paps rushed towards us "I'm so sorry to hear abut your Dad, do you have anything to say?" One of them shoved a camera in Abi's face, my first instinct was to move the twins. I grabbed them both in their car seats off the ground quickly. Leroy had pushed his body between Abi and the cameras. It wasn't long before the room was filled with security, I watched as they started to push the paps out. One guy was quite admiment though he came rushing back in just as I handed the twins to Leroy "ABI" he yelled as he crashed into her.
Abi let out a scream as he almost knocked her to the ground, I'm not sure if it was the scream or the terrified look on my wife's face that caused me to snap. But all of a sudden I find myself throwing this guys camera across the room and slamming his body against the wall. My hands were gripped tightly around the collar of his shirt "When I let go, you're gonna leave...got it" The guy nodded nervously.
As I let go I felt Abi's hands on the back on my arms and her head rested against my back, I could feel her trembling. But I didn't turn my back on the camera guy until he had gone completely, Abi was cacooned in my arms as soon as I turned around to face her "You okay" I whispered and she nodded, she still didn't move away.
The twins were now in the corner of the room with Leroy, they hadn't made a sound. Luckily this guys stupidity wasn't enough to disturb them. It was however more than enough to shake Abi.
×-×-×
Abi hadn't spoke much on the way to Stella's, in fact she hadn't said a word. I watched as she twirled her wedding ring around on her finger "Abi" I smiled when I saw her Mom walking towards the car "Don't shut me out baby" I took her hand in mine and she looked into my eyes.
I watched as Abi looked at her mom, she turned to me with tears I her eyes "Drive" she said harshly.
"What?" I could hardly believe what I was hearing.
"DRIVE, get us away from here. Now" I didn't resist I just fired up the engine and drove back off the drive and out onto the street.
I glanced through the rear view mirror and spotted Leroy get out of the car and hug Stella. My attention returned to the road instantly, I found myself side glancing at Abi.
We pulled up in a lay by at the side of the road "Talk to me" I frowned and waited for Abi's response.
"I can't do it Ryan, I can't do it without him" Abi's voice was distant and lost "He made everything simple, and I'm just not ready to acknowledge the fact he's never coming back"
I couldn't speak so I just pulled her close, I looked down she seemed to be holding something small in her hand. My heart skipped and then sunk as I saw the small clear bag of white powder in Abi's hand "Abi, what the fuck?" I took it off her and held it in my own hand "Where did you get this?"
I tried to figure out when Abi had been alone to get this and then it dawned on me "This morning, when I came to you in the studio?"
"I just wanted it to go away, for the pain to stop" I couldn't speak "I thought if I could get through the first day then it would get easier"
"Easier...with this?" I found myself raising my voice "If you want it that badly fucking have it. Risk everything" I never meant to lose it like that but I couldn't help it. I tossed the small bag at her and got out of the car.
I was grateful at this point that Leroy had taken the twins in his car. Abi got out of the car and walked over to me "I'm sorry, I had a moment when I thought it was what I wanted"
"And was it?"
"No" she shook her head "It's just I...I wanted to shut it out. I thought if I did something stupid then he would come back...but he's not coming back. He's never coming back and I don't know how to deal with that"
Wow, I watched as Abi slid down the side of the car and slumped down on the ground. This is what Stella was talking about, this is what Leroy meant by coming undone.
I slid my body down the car and sat on the ground beside her, pulling her into me. I wrapped my arms and kissed her head "It's okay baby, I got you" I whispered gently before kissing her head. We sat here like this for almost an hour, not moving or speaking, just being still.
