Endure (Bellarke)

Chapter Fifteen

Bellamy's POV

These estranged emotions consumed Bellamy, his mind was jumbled with confusion. A foreign feeling evaded his mind and heart. 

Why was this girl constantly on his mind?

Bellamy couldn't think properly, whenever he saw her, his thoughts were scrambled up. He did his best to mask his emotions ever since he returned to camp. He tried his best to keep his distance from her, but somehow, some way, the distance between them had closed up and Bellamy was back to square one.

Now, slightly showing some emotion towards her, he blew it. She was onto him, he could tell by the way she curiously asked questions, making his heart race faster than the beat of a drum. So instead of facing with these new emotions, he fled.

He shook his head in disbelief, in desperate need to clear his head.

-

The night sky was falling upon the camp, the darkness coated the sky while bright stars splattered across the night. Bellamy had a cup of moonshine, which he had stolen from Monty's new batch that he had recently made. He sat on his makeshift bed and stared into the cup of moonshine. Without a second thought, Bellamy chugged down the liquid.

No more than ten minutes later, one of his many one-night stands had peered into his tent and insisted that he needed her company. He could vaguely recognize her. What was her name again? Courtney? Caitlyn? Carrie? Whatever, who the hell cares.

There was a little voice that echoed in his head, telling him that what he was about to do was a horrible idea. He ignored that voice. 

The alcohol started to kick in, and the more he looked at Courtney (or whoever the hell it was), he would always see Clarke's face. 

This guy couldn't catch a freaking break.

After his quick fling with Courtney, he pulled away from her, quickly putting on his clothes.

 What the hell did he just do? His stupidity overtook him, and he was starting to realize this after he just fucked one of his one-night stands. Yet again. He just wanted to run away from all these strange emotions he was having for Clarke. Even though he wasn't dating anyone, he couldn't help but feel the guilt flow through his veins. 

'How did Finn manage to do it? Sleep with one girl while being with another? How did he manage to not let the guilt get to him?' Bellamy thought to himself.

He thoughts were interrupted when he could hear screams erupt from outside his tent. Bellamy made his way to the tent flap when he heard her voice. This voice was strong and independent, something that he admired. It was the same voice that was constantly stuck in his head, the voice that he couldn't get away from.

Followed by Clarke's commands was another voice; Finn's.

His mind flashed backed to the dream that he had when he was locked away; about him and Clarke potentially being a family. It was a constant reminder of something that he would never have.

Bellamy wanted to stay in his tent, so he could sleep without being alone with his thoughts, oh and Courtney. But thanks to Monty's moonshine and his wild fling, he was wide awake. 

Clarke's POV

After Bellamy fled the drop ship, Clarke decided tended some of the people who were ill. Murphy was slowly overcoming the virus, so he assisted Clarke in aiding the people who had caught the virus. Clarke decided to occupy herself with helping others, so she could focus on the task at hand. "There are things more important than your love life, Clarke" she mumbled to herself as she rolled Fox over to her side to cough up some blood.

She hoped that Bellamy would come back and pick up on their conversation which they had left off of. But the longer Clarke stayed in the drop ship, she more she convinced herself that he was being delusional.

"Take a break, I got this" spoke Murphy as he took the washcloth from Clarke's hand.

"Are you sure Murphy? You don't have to do this," replied Clarke a little surprised at his word.

"I want to do this, get some rest."

Clarke gladly accepted his offer and left the drop ship to go to her tent when the camp had burst into chatter, staring up at the sky.

"The Exodus ship!" cried Clarke as she gleamed up at the sky. The more she kept staring, the more she realized something wasn't right.

A loud crash put Clarke out of her daze, gray smoke exploded in the distance, followed by an eruption of flames.

 Clarke just stared in shock, her body was paralyzed. Was this some twisted dream? It was like someone had just stabbed her with a draw knife, twisting it slowly in her gut, making her endure every moment of pain. For a minute, she thought she would be reunited with her mother. But within that minute of wishful thinking, was the feeling of loss, desperation, loneliness. 

She had no control of any of her emotions or actions after she had witnessed the death of her mother. Clarke flopped to the ground, knees hitting the cold, muddy ground. Her head was pressed against her knees, with her hands covering her mouth, to silence her screams and cries. Clarke's blonde hair spread over her head, covering her face. 

A/N

This chapter was mainly to focus more on Bellamy's emotions. Sorry it was shorter than my other chapters. Also this is unedited. If I'm not feeling lazy, I'll fix it up. 

I'll try to update again on the weekend! 

PLEASE VOTE if you're enjoying this story! Thank you so much for over 100 votes! 

-stupidspacewalker