All Hope Lost

Chapter 10

*lillys pov*
I had to call my mom and tell her today, I would have earlier but... I just, couldn't.
I dialed her number and held the phone to my ear, with each ring, came another shot of anxiety through my body.
M- hey lilly!
L- hey mom..
M- what's up? How's the baby?
L- actually momma.. I went into labor the other day..
M- wait seriously?! Well how adorable is he? Send me pictures!
L- mom-
M- does he look more like you or cameron? Oh I bet cameron is so excited to have a son!
L- mom Caylen isn't-
I couldn't say it. It hurt.
L- he isn't here.
M- oh is Jack and sadie have him? You can send me the pictures later!
L- mom he died in my arms
M- w-what?
I started to cry.
L- he was born to soon, he wasn't healthy enough..
M- lilly I'm so sorry sweety... How are you? And cameron?
L- it's hard mom.. I never thought something could hurt so bad.
M- you know I would come up if I could but you dad and I-
L- I know mom, you don't need to worry about it, we have a lot of support here, especially sam and nash.
M- okay honey, I love you.
L- love you.
I hung up and quickly wiped my tears away before cameron woke up. I put some eye drops in and decided to make cam some breakfast. I went into the kitchen and started making pancake batter, bacon and eggs.
I feel like he needs more attention, he doesn't say anything, but he's just a needy person all together.
I finished cooking and went to go wake him up.
I walked upstairs and went into our room.
He looked really cute, he fell asleep in a pale grey sweater and had messy hair.
"Cam wake up" I say quietly sitting next to him.
"Morning" he smiles opening his eyes.
"Come down stairs I'm lonely" I say
"But I'm sleepy" he whines.
"I made you food" I say
"Oh yay!" He says excitedly getting up and I laugh.
He pulls me downstairs and gets food.
"I have to go to the bathroom shit" cam laughs getting up and leaving. His phone digs and I check it.
Railey- aw that sucks😂
Who's railey? And what even sucks what? I put his phone down and he came back. It was probably just a friend from la.
We continued eating and he looked at his phone and laughed, while typing back.
Okay yeah railey is a girls name, but that doesn't mean anything.
I finished eating and put my dishes in the sink, cams been too attached to his phone to even say more than a few words to me.
"Cam, I think we should go to nash and johnsons today, I think it'll be good for us" I say.
He was typing..
"Caaam?" I say once more and he looks up.
"Yeah?" He asks
"Uh, nevermind" I say.
"Ok" he says going back to his phone.
I took mine out and texted johnson.
L- hey can I come over today?
J- yeah definantly, bring cam nash wants to see him.
L- I'd rather not right now is that okay?
J- uh yeah is everything alright?
L- yeah I'll see you soon alright?
J- okay lills
I locked my phone and went upstairs and showered. I got out and blow dried my hair and did my makeup. I put on a very over sized button up flannel and leggings. This was the first time I got ready in the past week, and it felt nice.
L- I'll be there in 10
I sent it and went downstairs.
"Where are you going?" Cam asks
"To johnsons" I say
"Well thanks for inviting me" he laughs.
"Kinda did" I mutter to myself leaving.
I get into my bug and sit there for a moment, overthinking everything.
I drove to johnsons house and went inside.
"Hey" nash hugs me then johnson.
"Hey guys" I say
"What's up?" Johnson asks as nash leaves the room, johnson probably wanted to talk alone with me.
"Nothing really.." I say
"Aw cmon lills, you know I know something's up besides you know.." He says. Way to go for reminding me Jack.
"Please don't tell nash" I say.
"Of course, what's going on?" He asks
"Cameron has been texting this girl, railey, and he's addicted to texting her, he ignores me to text her, he barely said one word to me this morning.." I say "what if he hates me for what happened and is finding someone else?"
"Cameron Doesn't hate you and he's not trying to find someone else, she's probably just a friend" he says
"I hope so, I don't know what I'd do if I lost cam" I say
"You're not losing him don't think that" he says hugging me.
"Don't tell anyone okay, it's our secret" I say
"Of course" he smiles.
I spent a few hours at johnsons and drove home. Cams car wasn't in the driveway?
I went inside and dialed his number.
Voicemail.
Okay then. I texted him.
L- hey love, where are you?
I locked my phone and sat down.
*camerons pov*
"Haven't seen you in forever" I say hugging railey.
"Yeah, it's been a while" she says. "Come on in"
*lillys pov* (wow that was short)
I waited for about an hour before cam showed up.
"Hey" he smiles widely at me.
"Hey I texted you, where'd you go?" I ask
"Oh I went to chipotle" he says
"By yourself?" I ask
"Yeah I was hungry" he says giving me a weird look.
"Okay I was just wondering" I say
Cam sat next to me and have me a worried look.
"Your acting weird lilly" he says
"I'm not acting any way" I say
"Okay.." He says and sits back, on his phone.
____ next day____
I was hoping to spend some time with cameron today since we barely talked yesterday. I needed to know that he doesn't hate me.
"Cam" I whisper and wake up The sleeping boy next to me.
"Morning" he says pushing the hair in his face back.
"So I wa-"
"Can you hand me my phone?" He asks.
"Uh sure" I say handing him his phone.
"What were you saying?" He asks rolling onto his back going on his phone.
"nothing" I say and get out of bed.
I walked downstairs and texted johnson.
L- he's texting her again!
J- don't over think it lilly
L- what if I'm not over thinking it and it's actually true??
J- it's not.
L- but what if it is?
J- lilly.
I locked my phone and set it down. I didn't want to cry but it just...happened.
I stayed quiet though.
I picked up my phone once again.
L- nate, can you pick me up?
N- yeah
I was still in my pajamas with messy hair but I didn't care. It didn't bother me.
Nate pulled up and I went out in tears.
"Woah woah woah what's wrong what happened?" He asks driving away.
"Nothing, literally nothing" I say wiping my tears away.
"It was obviously something" he says
"It's just, cam has been ignoring me the past couple days it's not a big deal.."
*camerons pov*
Railey- you sure you don't wanna come this morning?
C- nah I should probably spend some time with lilly.
Railey- okayyy
I locked my phone and finally got out of bed.
I went down stairs and lilly wasn't there, but her phone was.
And she did come upstairs to get dressed where could she have gone?
I called sadie.
C- hey is lilly with you?
S- no she's not with me or Jack or johnson
C- okay thanks.
I hang up and try nash.
C- is lilly there?
N- no sorry man
I called nate.
No answer.
Where the hell was my wife? Did someone like steal her or something?
*lillys pov*
Cameron tried calling Nates phone. Hah if he can ignore me, I can ignore him.
"Lilly he's probably calling around wondering where you are" nate says
"Let him wonder"