All Hope Lost

Chapter 3

"I'm going to the movies tonight with the guys, they want to have an 'OGOC' night" I say to cam
"Okay I'll just have nash over" he says
____
I get into my bug and drive to the theaters. I was getting better with going to public places but it was still pretty hard, so I texted Gilinsky to park by me. Soon enough he was there and we got out at the same time.
We walk in and meet up with johnson, sam, and nate. It felt so weird hanging out without cameron and nash, but it also felt nice.
Sam gets the movie tickets and we go into the theater.
We sit down in the back and I sat between Jack and Jack, like I always did.
"Wouldn't be an old movie night if I didn't bring this" I say pulling out my hand bag which contained a ton of Taco Bell.
"I totally forgot about that" sam laughs.
The movie starts and of course, I was terrified but I actually was into this movie.
But johnson? Not so much.
"NOPE nope nope nope" he says hiding his face.
"Aw cmon if I can handle it you can" I laugh.
-
The movie was over and we all went back to our cars.
"I think we kinda grew up too fast" gilinsky says to me before driving off. I get in my car and drive. His comment stuck in my head.
It has some truth to it..
I don't regret marrying cameron, or getting pregnant, but I am only 19.. And I'm going to be stuck home all the time with a baby, and have to run things by my husband before I can do them..
I get home and go inside.
Cameron and nash were on their phones.
"Hey how'd it go?" Can asks
"It was fun, can we talk about something?" I ask
"Sure, uh nash I'll see you later" he says
"Bye" nash leaves and I sit.
"I know I can't right now because I'm pregnant, but I want us to model again, and maybe travel somewhere, with everyone" I say
"Well yeah we can do that" he says
"Cameron, do you ever think that we might have gone too fast with growing up?" I ask.
"No why?" He asks
"Because I'm 19, and having a kid" I say
"Well I mean it may feel that way for you, but for me, I had to grow up when I was 16, and I'm 21" he says
"I know.." Was all I responded.
Cameron didn't understand. He's been an adult for almost 6 years, he ready to move onto this part of his life, but I just got started. And to be honest, I felt like part of my life was getting ripped away from me.
_______
Today we had an ultrasound to go to and were to find out the gender of the baby.
And if we would name her charmendy
Or name him Caylen.
We get in the car and go to my doctor.
We go inside and sit down and wait.
I see another mom in there with two kids.
"First one?" She asks us.
"Yeah" I say
"The firsts are always the hardest, that's the best thing I can tell you" she says
"Lillian dallas" the woman says and I go back with cameron.
I sit back on the bed and lift up my shirt, I knew the drill.
"Are we ready to find out the gender?" She smiles at me.
"Yes" I say excidedly. She moves the wand with cold gel over my tummy.
"What is it?" Cameron asks anxiously.
"It's a boy" she says.
"Really?" Cameron asks with a HUGE smile on his face.
"Yep your having a boy!" She says excitedly.
"Oh my god this is so exciting" I say.
-
We were on our way home.
Sam: so? What's is it?
Nate: is it a boy or girl?!
Johnson: boy or girl???
Texts were flooding in about the baby.
"Can I put it in the group text?" I ask cam and he nods. I add everyone into a group chat and tell them.
Lilly: it's a boy!
Sadie: OMG YAY!
Johnson: YESSSS
Gilinsky: our kids can be best friends!
Sam: woo! I get a nephew!
Nate: congrats!!!
I also texted my mom and dad and told them, and my aunt Lindsay.
We got home and I instantly went on Amazon to look for baby boy outfits and everything else.
"Well someone's excited" cam laughs.
"I am! I'm extremely excited" I say
"And about what you told me, about feeling like your growing up too fast, I get it. I mean I felt like that from 16 years old to around your age. I get it" he says.
"I don't want you to think I'm not happy. I just kind of wish that my teen years didn't just happen so.. Quickly" I say
"I know your happy, you tell me that everyday. The improvement from two years ago and now is amazing and I'm so proud of you" he hugs me.
"Thanks cam"
"Now let's find some rad baby clothes for Caylen" he says.
I was scrolling through and had already found one that I fell in love with. It was baby shoes. Obviously.
Everytime I see baby shoes in a store I try to think of an excuse to buy them because they are so cute and now I finally have one.
____
After hours of looking through baby clothes we went up to the spare room.
"this will be the nursery" I smile to myself.
This was my room.
And it will now be my sons room.
I looked at the markings of mine and sams heights on the wall.
"You haven't painted over them?" I ask
"Of course not, why would I?" He asks
"I don't know I just figured you'd want to" I say.
"Oh.. Well they seem kinda special to me" he says.
We go up through the little door onto the roof, like we always used to do, except it was a tiny bit harder now due to the fact that I was pregnant.
We sat up there and watched the sun set.
"God I'm gunna be a mom" I laugh.
"You're going to be a great mom" he re assures me.
"You sure about that? I mean johnson got me a cat a few years back and my parents still take care of it" I say (remember basil guys omg)
"A cat at 17 and a baby at 19 are two completely different things." He says "you'll care more about a baby than a cat, I mean, it s a living human." He says
"You're right, well do fine."