Constant and Changing (kryber)

Chapter 1: Shadow

Krystal sat in her darkened trailer on the set of her drama and tried to shut herself off from the world. Outside these trailer walls she would be forced to smile and act normally and tell everyone that she was fine. But in here, all by herself, Krystal was allowed to feel whatever she wanted to feel, and right now she felt sad.

A few weeks ago, in the midst of f(x)'s Red Light comeback promotions, Sulli had suddenly decided to take a hiatus from f(x) activities. Krystal felt that Sulli's decision was sudden at the time, but perhaps it wasn't sudden at all. She had been by Sulli's side these past months and watched her best friend struggle against the rumors and hate from the bigoted Korean netizens, who had far too much influence on their lives.

As much as Sulli tried to endure her misfortune and gain strength from her members' support, Krystal could see that Sulli was suffering. And it was for this reason that she and the other f(x) members accepted Sulli's hiatus without complaint. Together, despite Sulli's protests, they decided to halt their promotions and their repackaged album plans all at once because they did not want to continue without her. f(x) was not f(4). f(x) was only complete as 5, and so they chose to wait for Sulli to return.

Krystal felt that she had handled Sulli's hiatus well. Yes, she had cried over it, and yes, she had been incredibly disappointed. But at the same time, she loved Sulli and wanted only the best for her. Therefore, she tried to accept the changes to f(x)'s promotions like an adult. She accepted that she had lost the precious opportunities to laugh and play with her members for this promotion cycle. But if it meant that Sulli would one day come back to them, she was happy to do so.

However, today's news was not sitting as well with Krystal. In the early morning hours while filming on set, Krystal learned that Jessica had been kicked out of Girls' Generation. Just like Sulli's situation, Jessica's news felt sudden and not so sudden all at once. There had been issues between Jessica and her members leading up to this day, but she had never imagined that the result would be Jessica's unwilling departure from the group.

Why was the world so two-faced? Why did friends turn on each other over money and fame? Why did friends lie and go back on their word and pull away their support the moment they saw an opportunity to better themselves? Her sister was caught within a storm that she was helpless to control. Jessica couldn't give up her fashion company and she couldn't meet the abrupt demands of her group, so she was out.

How cruel, how unfair.

At times like this, Krystal longed to be with her sister so that they could cry together and comfort each other. She longed to be with her members, who were every bit as important to her as her blood sister. Sympathy texts and calls had come in, but what Krystal needed most right now was a hug. But Jessica had left the country and Victoria was in China now. Sulli was in Busan and Luna and Amber had their own schedules. Everyone was too busy, too far away, and Krystal was alone.

The world was watching her today, seeing how she reacted to the news of her sister. She put on a strong front out there, but in here she could be herself. She could cry.

Krystal was stuck on set for the rest of the day and most of the night for filming, surrounded by people, yet incredibly alone. Feeling like a shadow of her former self, she sat in darkness and let the tears flow from her eyes, waiting for something or someone to save her.

And then, as though it were a reply to her unspoken plea, her phone suddenly buzzed. It was a text message.

"Hey, hang in there, Princess-nim. Sorry I had a schedule this morning, but your servant is on her way with a pizza!!"

Krystal let out a tearful laugh and wiped her eyes. Of course, out of all the people in her life, Amber would be the first one to come running to her in her time of need.

"OK, I'm waiting," Krystal texted back. "But if the pizza is cold when you get here, I'm making you buy me another one."