Constant and Changing (kryber)

Chapter 55: Rude Love

Krystal sat on the bed of her Beijing hotel room and read articles about herself with a crestfallen expression. She rarely ever looked at her own articles, but various friends and family members had pointed out some particularly negative articles that were posted two days ago. The young girl gazed at the expressionless and "controversial" photos of herself from MAMA 2015 and sighed.

"Why are these stupid attitude controversies still popping up after all these years?" Krystal wondered to herself as she read through the hurtful comments. And more importantly she wondered, "Why does this kind of stuff still bother me?"

Krystal felt like she had become a stronger person than the innocent girl who debuted over six years ago. As a rookie Krystal had agonized over the criticism she constantly received for appearing cold, disinterested, or rude. She couldn't understand why people misjudged her as cold when her personality was quite warm, but the confidence that Krystal lacked as a teenager had developed slowly over time. Rather than fake a smile just to please others, Krystal had learned not to let a few hateful comments get to her.

At least, Krystal thought she had learned not to let hateful comments get to her. But as her heart throbbed with a dull ache of sadness from reading the pages of negative comments left on her articles, Krystal couldn't help but feel as weak as her 15-year-old self had felt.

Perhaps the reason why this latest wave of criticism seemed to hurt more than usual was because Krystal thought that the public had begun to accept her recently. She had made every effort to reveal her true personality during the "4 Walls" comeback. Krystal had attended all four of f(x)'s radio shows this promotion cycle, speaking earnestly and working diligently during each show. She had talked about her tears during the "4 Walls" first win, her desire to hold a solo concert with f(x), and her appreciation for her members and for their fans.

The most genuine aspects of Krystal's personality had been put on display and the response had been positive. The netizens finally noticed her loyalty to f(x), her strength and perseverance. She was no longer just Jessica's little sister or someone to compare against Sulli; Krystal was her own person and she had become someone that the netizens praised.

So why had the world turned on her again?

Krystal slowly fell back onto her bed, looked up at the ceiling, and contemplated that very question. Her phone slipped out of her fingers and tumbled onto into the bedspread, offering no answers to her query. It was while in that dazed position that Amber entered the room and found Krystal lying on the bed in the middle of the day.

"Soojung-ah!" Amber called out in a singsong voice, bursting through the hotel room door with unrestrained excitement. "Guess wh--" The older girl took a look at Krystal's expression and her cheerfulness faltered. "What happened?"

Without even glancing at Amber, Krystal pointed at her phone in response. The older girl looked at the scathing comments still visible on the screen, all of which were directed at her girlfriend, and narrowed her eyes in disapproval.

"The worst of the netizens are at it again, I see," Amber observed icily. She cast a sympathetic smile at Krystal. "Well I hope that you're not buying any of this. Obviously Luna and I didn't notice anything unusual about you during MAMA. The people who actually know you understand you the best, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Krystal murmured back noncommittally.

Amber sat down gently on the bed and tried to focus Krystal's gaze with a wave of her hand. "Soojung, Earth to Soojung. You OK in there?"

"Amber, why do you love me?" The younger girl asked abruptly. It was a question that Krystal already knew the answer to since Amber wasn't shy about complimenting her princess. But with Krystal's vulnerable state of mind right now, she suddenly needed to hear why Amber found her attractive.