Constant and Changing (kryber)

Chapter 66: I Love You, I Love You

All eyes were on Krystal again. It's wasn't just a feeling or a paranoia, but a fact. Articles about Krystal were on the front page of Naver, but the comments were anything but supportive. Just like when Sulli's drama and Jessica's drama unfolded in 2014, the world was gossiping about Krystal's every action again and debating whether she would be giving up her idol life over this dating scandal with Kai.

The comments about their "relationship" were disgusting and Krystal hated enduring the vulgar remarks. People speculated about whether she and Kai were sleeping together, whether they were living together or taking secret vacations together. Ridiculous photos circulated the internet and claimed to show them making out in a pool together. And even though her personal fan union had disproved the pictures, the world had already ingrained this lie as the truth.

But even worse than dealing with netizen comments was answering questions from the people around her. Only close family and friends knew the truth about Kai, that her fake relationship with the EXO member was a necessary cover-up to protect her relationship with Amber and Kai's relationship with another male idol. But for everyone else, Krystal had to play along with SM's story and tell the lies that made her sick to her stomach.

Krystal constantly needed to remind herself that there was a purpose to this lie and that her suffering wasn't for naught. She repeated this to herself whenever people congratulated her for finding a boyfriend, when they asked for more details about Kai, when she looked into Amber's eyes and saw nothing but heartbreak staring back at her.

One week had passed since the dating news was released and Amber was still suffering from the aftermath, perhaps even more so than Krystal. The internet was rampant with articles and rumors and Krystal's social media was being bombarded by insults from EXO-Ls describing her as a slut and comments from people calling her a detriment to f(x). But whereas Krystal could still find some peace by ignoring all of the comments, Amber grew more frustrated at the situation as the days wore on.

Amber scrolled through the endless hate comments on Krystal's Instagram and finally threw down her phone in disgust. It bounced across the bedspread and came to a rest at Krystal's fingertips. "I wish I could tell the world that you and Kai are a lie. Then everyone would stop talking about you," Amber said dejectedly. "I can't stand reading all the sexist crap they're saying about you. It's not true. None of it is true."

If not for the frustration behind Amber's words, Krystal would have been touched by Amber's protectiveness, Amber's desire to shield her from the netizen backlash. But with Amber lying back on her bed and staring up at the ceiling with a defeated expression on her face, Krystal could only feel guilty the she was the source of Amber's frustration.

"I'm sorry Am, I wish things didn't have to be like this," Krystal murmured, scooting closer to her girlfriend and watching over her with an affectionate but worried expression.

"It's not your fault," Amber replied softly.

Krystal would have felt better if Amber had turned and looked at her as she spoke, but the older girl's gaze was still fixed on the ceiling of her apartment. Krystal wanted to tell Amber not to be sad, that they needed to stay strong in the face of adversity, but in a way it felt unfair to tell Amber how to feel. There were times where Amber allowed Krystal to feel whatever she needed to feel without urging her to feel differently, and Krystal wanted to respect Amber's feelings the same way.

"It's OK to feel sad, Am," Krystal said supportively. She laid down next to Amber and stared up at the ceiling with her. "I know it's hard right now, but we'll get through this together. The world will get tired of Kaistal soon enough."

"Not soon enough," the older girl murmured with annoyance.

Krystal felt Amber's hand slip into her own and she smiled and nodded at Amber's response. "Not soon enough," she agreed.