Don't Listen to Your Heart

Psychotic Love's Breakdown

[A/N: Hello there. I just wanted to thank you all for 7k reads, it's crazy! The story is kinda turning a little, I don't even know what I'm writing anymore lol, I just hope you guys are liking it.]

Oh, and, when in the last night's episode of Hotel James said one of the lines I made him say in this story I totally freaked out, jeez. He said 'I'm dead, not stupid', and I made him say the same a couple of days ago. No, I'm not psychic or anything, I guess. But it was awesome hearing him actually saying it!

Anyway, enjoy the chapter!

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"Hello Sasha, I'm Mr.Fuller" a man in his 30s says, sitting down an old armchair.

"He's gonna help you, he's a psychiatrist" Rocky says, I roll my eyes and stare at him.

"Remember what happened with the last one?"

"Mr.Fuller is here to help you, he's not gonna report you"

"No notebook, no record player. Just me and you" the man smiles, segnaling to Rocky to leave the room and leave us alone.

"So, I'm all ears"

"I don't feel like talking. You can just tell them I'm okay and whatever else you want"

"You're not gonna get over this so easily, young woman. Split it out"

"I'm emotionally unstable, and you look nice. You should just leave, please"

"Do you think you would hurt me?" he asks with a serious tone, I slowly glance up at him.

He has big green eyes and dark black hair, his smile is warm and kinda relaxing. I guess he could be the only psychiatrist I don't feel like hating. I could even trust him.

"I can't control that anymore" I sigh, looking down, as I nervously rub my sweaty hands on my jeans.

"So you've hurt someone"

"More than once"

"Like killed them?" he asks, a deep interested tone.

"Why do you care?"

"I'm here for this. Anyway it's too late, you admited it. You've killed, more than once" he says with an odd tone as I suddenly see 4 or 5 men entering the door.

"You're a cop, aren't you" I ask, almost as a statement, as I soon sigh and roll my eyes.

"Your friend told me you changed since when you came living here. My collagues and I are working on this Hotel for months now. Bunch of people disappeared in here, probably died already. And this room smells like death. This whole place smells like death"

The men, all dressed up in suit and tie, start walking towards me. I quietly look at all of them, singularly, and then at their belts. One of them soon grabs my arms, making me lean down on my knees while searching for handcuffs. I quickly grab the gun hiding in his belt and start shooting all around the room.

I feel my heart skipping a couple of beats, I don't even know how that would be even possible, as some of their bullets smash on my body.

I quickly turn, just to see James standing on Mr.Fuller, holding a knife against his neck. He slowly turns with a small smile and throws a small pocket knife to me. I smile back, as I soon cut a man's throat wide open.

I see Rocky, Dylan and my mother entering the room in shock. I just stare at them, feeling the last man standing's bullets all over me.

"STOP SHOOTING HER!" Rocky soon yells with tears in his eyes,

"You sent them here. You betrayed me. I THOUGHT YOU CARED" I yell, hurt, feeling even more broken and numb that I already am.

"I DO CARE! THAT'S WHY I SENT THEM HERE"

"TO KILL ME?" I cry, as I feel rage running up through my whole body.

"I'd suggest you to leave until you have the chance" James deeply says staring at Rocky with a mad look, he looks furious. I've actually never seen him this furious in my whole staying at Cortez.

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT YOU PSYCHO! YOU TOOK HER AND TURNED HER INTO A MONSTER! YOU RUINED HER LIFE! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" Rocky madly yells back to James, who's trying to breathe normally.

"I killed myself. He wasn't even there when I FUCKING KILLED MYSELF. I screwed it all up myself" I cry, feeling sick and dizzy.

"You need to throw up" James suddenly says, leaving Mr.Fuller's side and reaching me carefully.

"I don't want to throw up, I don't wanna do anything" I cry again as he quickly puts his fingers in my mouth causing me to feel sick even more and suddenly throw up. I stare in shock of what just left my mouth. Blood, some disgusting food leaves, and bullets.

"Now you'll be just fine" he slowly smiles, trying to wrap his arms around me, waiting for me to approve. I slowly move forward to him and lay my head on his chest, letting him holding me in his soft warm strong arms.

"Where do you think you're going, uh? You fuck up with my friend and then expect us to let you leave? What a dumb officer you are" I hear a familiar voice saying, I slowly pull away from James and look up.

Tristan, Liz, Iris and Donovan are standing by the door, stopping Mr.Fuller, Rocky, Dylan and my mother from leaving the room.

"Now we're all gonna do a reunion. Sit down" Tristan says again, making all of them sit down on the floor and Liz and Iris soon bend and tie them to a strong wooden old table.

"Tristan, there's no need to-"

"There is, dear Sasha. You would do the same for me" he smiles in pleasure, I shyly smile back.

I slowly lean down on my knees followed by James, while Tristan, Liz, Iris and Donovan start talking with Rocky, Dylan, Mr.Fuller and my mother.

I finally close my tired eyes and let out a sigh. I'm not sure if I totally forgave James, or if I want to. Our love is kinda painful, yet so wonderful. It's totally twisted. A psychotic love. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone else, don't get me wrong, but, sometimes, it just feels wrong. It all feels wrong. I should stop killing, I should maybe stop believing him. I should try stop loving him.

"I'm so sorry. For anything" I hear him whisper in my ear, "I promise I will fix it all up and prove to you how honest I'm being with you. How much I do love you"

"It's fine. Just need some time I guess. Can I kill myself again or will I just keep on waking up the next morning?"

"Have you tried that?"

"Not yet" I admit, looking up at him.

"Please stop hurting yourself. I'm doing my best to stop hurting you as well. We'll be just fine, you'll be okay" he whispers again, as he soon quietly leans down and kisses my forehead.