Don't Listen to Your Heart

The Black Parade

"Are you sure?" Liz sweetly asks, placing a hand on my shoulder, I take a deep breath and nod.

I've been talking to James and, together, we decided that maybe it's better make me a funeral. He said it's important but I don't want my grandma to know, that would be heartbreaking. Liz told me that one day or another I would have to do this anyway, I'm dead, there's no turning back now. I still can't believe I killed myself, unwilling. I just wanted to forget the pain, but I had a blackout and let all that blood flow away from my body and died. I still don't know what happened that night though, I don't know what the fight between Donovan and James was about.

"Tristan" I call out, weakly, calling his attention.

"You okay?"

"I just, I thought about your idea and I want to"

"You do? Are you sure?" he asks in confusion, I nod.

A couple of minutes later I find myself following him into the basement, reaching out the door of the underground, where all the bodies lay. Tristan offered me to take me to see my body so many times before but I just refused and felt sick right away. I don't know what made me change my mind but now I feel like I need to see my dead body. Even though the only thought of it makes me sick once again.

"It's gonna be crowded, you know" he smiles,

"Yeah, I can only imagine" I softly chuckle, trying to hide my anxiety.

"You'll be just fine after this. Just maybe a little dizzy but it won't last long, trust me"

"Have you already seen your body?"

"Yeah, I had to persuase Liz. He wouldn't let me down here, I'm right there" he says, poiting at a dark corner as we soon walk in the huge dark room.

Useless to say how bad the smell is in here. I admit I didn't get what that cop, Mr.Fuller, said about this place smelling like death before, but, right now, I feel like getting it. Dead corpses are laying all around the room but I was honestly expecting a bigger mess. Each body has his own place and position, it's pretty organized down here. But, after all, James is a perfectionist, it's just how he works.

"I've helped taking you here" Tristan suddenly says, I soon stare at him,

"You did?"

"It was heartbreaking. Mostly because you had no idea you died"

"Yeah, you could've just tell me"

"Really? Hey Sasha, what a cool shirt! Oh, you died last night, have a great day" he jokes, laughing softly.

"I've heard that James has walked down here for days after you died" he suddenly adds.

"Why would he do that?" I ask in confusion.

"For what I know, for keeping bugs away from you. He sprayed you with some kind of bugs' and mouses' death poison" he smiles, I look away with a small smile. That's so nice of him, taking care of me even after my death, taking care of my dead body. How adorable is that?

"Here we are" he stops, I abruptly stop behind him and take a deep breath.

"Oh, look at that. Another deep side of March I didn't know" he laughs, I slowly look down as tears start rolling down my cheeks.