Don't Listen to Your Heart

Checked In Too Soon

I slowly wake up, blinking my eyes a couple of times. The warmth of the room soon comforts me, even though not completely. I slowly look around, rubbing my eyes. I'm on a burgundy couch by a small fireplace in a little apartment.

"You finally woke up. How are you feeling?" a familiar voice asks, I let out a soft sigh.

"Where am I?"

"You're at my place"

"You mean.. outside the Hotel?" I ask, holding my head a little as I feel my headache coming back.

John quietly looks down at me with a growing warm smile. I feel tears start rolling down my cheeks like pouring rain, unstoppable.

"Woah, hey, what's wrong?" he soon asks, frowning.

"I don't wanna come back there, I'm so stupid! I believe everything they say, I'm such a fool. Please don't bring me back" I cry, letting out a couple of loud sobs.

"Did somebody hurt you?" he asks with a worried expression,

"I checked in too soon. I had to do more researches, I had to ask and ask non stop. So I would've known everything back then and I would've just walked away"

He just stood there silent for a minute, glancing down at me quietly with those big blue eyes of his. He looks tired, he has messy hair covering his face. He must lack of sleep, his eyes blink often. I can see him standing and walking towards what I guess it's the kitchen, coming back with a glass of water. I softly smile at him, but tears won't leave my eyes.

I can't believe I've been so stupid, again. I accepted James being a psychopath, I accepted Elizabeth taking away those little children and making a hell out of their lives. I accepted living with ghosts, or however you want to call them, with serial killers, vampires, drug addicts, sex addicts. Literally any kind of shit, I accepted all that. But, no, I can't accept James being married to Elizabeth. What kind of shit is that? I thought we could be together forever, it sounds so foolish thinking about that now. I love him, but I don't think he does. Not enough to tell me that he's married, and that I died that night.

"You can sleep a little while, it's only 6pm" John sweetly says, placing a warm blanket on my iced cold body.

"I don't feel like sleeping, but thank you for caring"

"You look cold. Are you cold?" he asks, I nod.

A few moments later, a knock makes us jump. We soon look at each other with a wondering look.

"I got this" he says with a small smile, heading towards the door.

A familiar figure soon shows up behind the door, grabbing John for his neck.

"Let him go" I command, she smirks, letting go of him. John quickly grabs his gun, pointing it at Elizabeth.

"I just want to talk, she's a friend of mine" she smiles,

"I'm no friend of yours" I spat with a broken tone.

"I can't get this strong bad vibes you're sending in the air, against me" she says sitting down next to me, trying to get closer. I soon sit in another spot of the couch, leaving her with a wondering look on her face.

"You knew I love him" I just say, tears rolling down my face again.

"Tristan? I didn't mean to kill him. You loved him?"

"Y-You killed Tristan? Why would you do that?" I ask in shock,

"He's not really dead, if you know what I mean. He'll still wander around the Hotel for sure" she smiles.

"I was talking about March. You knew I love him" I cry again,

"Oh, Sasha, that's old past story honey" she says with a small smile.

"The main problem here is me. I've been so stupid to even think to have a chance with him. Can you please leave?" I beg,

"He has a sweet tooth for you, honey"

"Stop talking about him. I know you carried his child, Bartholomeow"

"Who told you that?" she says with a mix of mad and surprised expression.

"It doesn't matter. Are you here for telling me that I'm dead? That would be a nice topic too" I ironically say crossing my arms, as I can feel John's strong and confused sight on me.

"Who told you all that?" she asks again.

"Kira, 5th floor. She knows everything, she sees everything"

"Did she also tell you how James hit Donovan? Did she tell you why he did that?"

"I don't care anymore" I say, feeling exhausted.

"You should, honey"

"Stop calling me that!" I yell, trying to stop my tears again, but there's no use.

"I need to ask you to leave, I'm sorry" John says grabbing Elizabeth's arm.

"We're not done here" she says with an evil sight on him,

"We are. Now please leave" I say as she quietly looks at me, stands up, and leaves the apartment.

***

I keep on feeling John's strong sight on me but I just decided to ignore it, running through the tv channels, trying to find something that will keep my mind busy for a while. My phone starts ringing, I take a quick glance at it and place it back on the couch.

"Won't you answer?" John asks, looking straight right into my eyes.

"It's Hotel Cortez reception's number. Nothing important" I just say, not taking my eyes off of the tv screen.

The rings won't stop, I let out a sigh.

"Do want me to pick that up and tell them to stop bothering you?" he asks, I glance up at him in confusion. It could actually work. I slowly grab my phone, handing it to him.

"Hello? No, it's Detective John Lowe, she's with me in a safe place. No, yeah. Oh, I understand" he says frowing, handing the phone back to me. I look up at him in confusion, he signales me to speak.

"Yeah?" I weakly say,

"Sasha, I know you're a little confused now. Elizabeth told us everything. We're not expecting you to come back right away, maybe a night out will help you out. Just, please tell us you're okay" Liz nervously says with a worried tone.

"Liz" I sigh, "It's just too much to handle. If Elizabeth told you everything, then you know what I'm referring to"

"You realize that you died in here so you technically can't leave, right?"

I actually didn't think of that. What if he's right? What if I'll never be able to leave that place again? I'd be stuck in there forever, with James, and Elizabeth, and their child. I can't take that. I'd rather die, but, yeah, I don't think it's possible since I'm already dead. I could find comfort in Kira, she could be my friend.

It started to hit me just now. I'm dead. No future, no good news for me. I will never be what I wanted to be, I will never achieve a thing in my life. Since I don't have one anymore. I won't have children, a family, a normal life. Everything makes more sense now that I'm dead. I've always hated my life, and now I hate my death too. It's like being trapped in a repeating nightmare, with people who hurt me. People I thought it was my family, people I thought they loved me.