impacts - Ashton Irwin

t w e n t y - s i x

The French lesson with Harry went well. I've now discovered that he's a cheeky little boy who is extremely moody but seemed to adjust to how I control the tutoring session. Although he tried to break the boundaries I'd set by making jokes and trying to charm his way out, he soon knew that I wanted to get to work.

But I know we'll get along just fine. We laughed a lot and for a young boy, he has such an amazing sense of humor.

I caught the bus back to my house. As I hopped off the bus, the cold air still whipped furiously. I tugged at my sleeves and wrapped my arms around myself.

The roar of an engine startled me as I turned around, seeing the all too familiar car, Ashton's. And inside, there he was, jaw tensed to breaking point as his large hands gripped the steering wheel. I spotted Calum in the back seat, too. He was on his phone. He always loved being in the back seat.

I knew Ashton was mad.

I walked over to the car and opened the door, sitting inside and wrapped my seat belt around me. The warm air hit me softly and I shivered with satisfaction.

"H-how was your day." I asked, hoping he wasn't that angry.

I guess I was wrong, "Where have you been?"

"I was busy, sorry."

"I have been worried Annabelle." He spat, once again.

"I said I was busy."

"Tone it down." Calum chirped, and I became relieved that he settled it down.

"Do you think I was just supposed to go on my day pretending you didn't blow me off?" He turned his head down to park the car.

"She didn't blow you off Ashton, calm down."

I scoffed, "I said I was busy, leave it at that." He only spited me more, "Oh yeah? Doing what?"

I sucked in a harsh breath as I saw Calum wince as he cringes, knowing what's about to be said.

"You wanna know?" Ashton nodded.

"I went to visit Finn, I cried, mum left me at the cemetery, and I cried, I called Calum to come get me, I cried then as well, then I slept, went to go see mum at the airport, cried then, and then went home with Calum, then went to my tutoring session." My tone was full of anger as I snarled, Calum squirming.

The reaction I got from Ashton was not one I wanted. The car had stopped outside my house as he turned to me.

"You called him and not me?"

I rolled my eyes with disbelief, "You have got to be kidding me." I shook my head and opened the door, slamming it behind me and storming into my house. Ashton followed me. 

"Don't you dare follow me, go home and think about your actions." He stopped walking and just stood there, disappointed, like a little child who had just been scowled at by their mother.

With guilt, I shrugged my shoulders lightly and walked inside.

Great, my first night without mum and I'm alone. Well, I was supposed to be with Ashton. But right now, I feel like I just need a night to myself.

I enjoyed being home alone. I felt as if I was living by myself. I felt comfortable with myself. I always had the best time alone.

Although right now I felt like crying, I didn't. I had to become stronger. I can't just let my walls down like I've been doing.

I walked all over the house, closing every single curtain and blind. I snatched my blankets from my bed, grabbing things I'd need to sleep downstairs. Every single time I'm home by myself or with Finn, this is what I would do. Sleep downstairs, make a huge bed on the floor, have music really loud, and eat loads.

I connected my phone to the speakers and flicked it on shuffle. Six60 came on first, as I pranced around, quickly jogging upstairs to my room. I slipped off my clothes and changed into an over sized shirt, pulling on my Pikachu socks as well, because they are the best socks, ever. I only ever wore them alone, awkward if I didn't. They came up to my knees, they were white and black striped, with Pikachu everywhere.

Music was blasting, the tabs on my laptop were full of different websites and here I was, sitting, eating pizza all alone. I've never even attempted to eat an entire pizza since Finn passed away and anxiety swallowed me whole, but tonight was a binge night.

I glanced over to my phone as I shoved another slice in my mouth, loudly and unattractively singing alone to Twenty One Pilots, with my mouth wide open with food. It was 1:00am and I decided I would not be going to school tomorrow.

Thankfully, this entire night I hadn't thought about Ashton, my websites distracting me. But I scrolled down my Instagram feed and there he was on my profile. The photo we took the one afternoon at my house.

I frowned at myself, seeing there were only 5 pieces of pizza left and because I felt stupid for leaving Ashton outside my house. He's probably asleep now, but I don't think what I did was fair.

My stomach dropped as I heard a knock on the door. Oh no. Noise control. They're going to give me a fine. No, no, no, no, no.

I turned my music down, slightly, and walked to the door. Fear consumed me.

I turned the knob and opened the door, seeing the boy I had disgraced earlier. The boy who I connected with strongly and knew I was falling harder and harder for.

His hands were shoved in his pockets, his cigarette now on the doorstep as his heels scuffed. He pushed past me and into my house before I could say anything and pondered over to the couch.

I closed the door behind me and walked over to the couch. I couldn't stay mad at this idiot. There's something about him. He was slouched on the sofa and I walked over, not saying a word. I just sat down next to him and snuggled into his side.

For another half an hour, we just sat there in a comfortable silence. His breathing pace calmed me down.

"You're an asshole." I broke the silence and he chuckled very softly in reply.

"Sorry that I'm not as cool as your socks." His fingers glided through my hair and I blushed. This was awkward.

"It's late." I whispered, my hand holding onto his shirt, "I wanna sleep down here."

"I should get going then." He starts to stand up as I tug at his hand.

"Stay?"

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fuck arzaylea

bye

- Jass xoxoxox