"Miss Harris are you alright?"
"Can you hear me Annabelle?"
"Are you able to tell us what day is it sweetie?"
All these questions bombard me as I wake up on my couch. It takes me a short moment to realize who is hovering above me, two police officers and my mother. I then realize why I passed out and why they are surrounding me.
My brother, my best friend, my story teller, teddy bear, counselor and diary, is dead. Gone. Not returning.
I immediately stand up and the blood rushes all around my body making me feel dizzy. I look around the room fast and cry out for Finn.
"Finn?! Finn no please." I cry as I drop to the ground and punch the wooden floor.
The feeling of losing somebody you love so much and care about is unbelievably painful. You feel as though your heart is about to shatter as it pounds to the point it might burst. You get that awful feeling in your stomach that's like butterflies, except it's not from being excited. You literally feel as though there is NO escape. You know how when you get in trouble? And you find excuses but you're still so nervous to confront the person of your excuse leading up to your mistake and you get that awful feeling? It's like that, except it's way worse and there is no excuse. You go dizzy and everything spins. It's almost like you're trapped in a room of darkness for the rest of your life, because now, your brother's dead, your best friend lost his life, and you lost half of yours.
After hours of my mother and I crying, and the family coming over, I decided that I had had enough of all the comfort and sympathy.
"I'm so sorry for your loss Annabelle."
"Annabelle, sweetie, are you okay?"
"I'm here for you darling."
"We're only a phone call away."
"Are you alright?"
Of course I'm not okay are you kidding me? I don't need your comfort. Saying sorry won't let Finn rise back up from the fucking dead will it?
Those words ran through my mind, and was very tempting to say. But instead, I politely smiled and walked upstairs, into my bedroom. I closed the door and lay on my bed, with my phone constantly buzzing with notifications. I ignore them all and instead, open up iMessage, finding the contact name, 'Finno.' As I start typing, tears fill my eyes and I squeeze my sleeves against my eyes, letting them soak up the saltiness.
Hey Finno,
I know you're going to want me
to be happy, but the thing is, I literally can't.
You know what made me happy? Talking to you,
laughing with you, everything. But you're still
gonna be here, and you're the only person I need to
talk to now. You're all I'm going to talk to. And I've made the
decision, I'm not going to your funeral.
I can't, I can't stand the sympathy I'll be receiving.
EVERYONE will be there, trying to comfort me, when I don't
need the comfort. Please just come back, I really think I
need you right now. I love you so much, make sure
you always watch out for me up there big guy,
you're my number #1.
- Belle x
*2 WEEKS LATER*
I've been avoiding school for two weeks. And today is the day my mother has decided to send me back. I do feel bad for mum, I haven't talked to her since the accident. It irritates me that she smiles. She acts happy. How can she possibly be happy?
I wake up, remembering today we don't have to wear uniform, it's what we call Mufti Day. I brush my tangled hair, throwing it into a loose bun and throwing on my baggy jeans and a plain white hoodie. I slip on my Converse and trudge downstairs with my school books.
"Have a good day Annabelle, I love you." My mother calls out from the kitchen. I continue walking out the door and the bright sun hits me. As I inhale a deep breath I feel a tap on my shoulder. Jumping in shock, I turn around to see who it is, and an unfamiliar face is behind me.
"Glenwood High School yeah?" He vibrantly beams. I nod in reply, shyly.
"Me too! It's my first day actually, so I'm pretty nervous. I just moved in next door actually!"
Again, I look up and smile at him as best I could.
"So, what's your name? I'm Ashton. Irwin, Ashton Irwin."
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I'm so nervous with this all man, I've never written a story before, ARGHHHH!!!!
Thanks for reading if anyone does, I know Millie is and she's my number one fan woo!
Even though these pages are short but everyone's gotta start somewhere.
YOU ARE READING
impacts - Ashton Irwin
Fanfiction"Feelings don't die easily because you continue to feed them with all your memories." The word 'impact' has so many meanings. Like the impact a death has on your life, the consequences you face and how you chose to grieve. But an even bigger meaning...
