The Devil's Love

Shadow of Death: Chapter 5: Anton

Sarah's desire was like a fire, growing with each passing second. I wanted nothing more than to push her onto the lounge and do all manner of dirty things to her and with her. But she was not ready for that. Brannon was barely a couple of hours old; her body was still recovering from the labour. I could not be so callous as to expect pleasure from her without giving it in return. And regardless of whether she was able to or not, she was still in pain.

But the kiss burned through me, filling me with a need for her that I'd never experienced before. I was at a loss as to what to do. Desperate to love her physically, caring enough to know better. Placing Brannon into his crib, I sighed, wishing there was an easy answer.

When I turned around to talk to Sarah about it, she was gone. Searching for Sarah, I found her in the dressing room, looking at her new dress in tears. I was not a fool; I could tell what she was thinking without even hearing a single word.

"It will fit you."

"No it won't." she said as she wiped the tears away.

Sarah turned around to look at me as more tears snaked their way down her cheeks, her arms folded over her body, hiding from my gaze.

"I understand Anton." she began, choking back the tears. "I'm not what you want anymore. You are a creature of desire and what you had for me has gone. If you intend on taking others, please be discreet."

I was stunned at first, unable to register what she was saying. But then it hit me like a runaway truck, slamming into me with severe force. Anger boiled in me for a few second, but it settled when I saw the hurt on her face, she really did think that I didn't want her.

She turned away to the bathroom, I reached out to the crook of her arm and pulled her back. Her eyes widened as I pushed her to the wall and unleashed every single drop of desire I had for her. She let out a meek moan as our lips collided, plunging deep into the needful kiss.

Her breath was ragged as I pulled away, her chest rising hard and fast. I looked down at her beautiful lips, plump and swollen from my desperate need to show her that I wasn't interested in anyone else.

"Do not ever say that to me again," I growled in a tone that was far too heavy for Sarah.

Her eyes widened, staring at me with shock. She blinked hard as a delicate frown pressed into her eyebrows, forming a v between them.

"I am not interested in anyone else; you are all that I desire. My restraint is only because you birthed our child a few hours ago, you are in pain, and I do not want to harm you."

A solitary tear slid down her cheek as she looked away.

"I'm not talking about sex Anton. Your affection has stilled, what would you have me think? Yesterday you'd kiss me every chance you got, your hands would always be somewhere on me, even if it was just holding my hand."

She pulled away, looking so sad it was heartbreaking.

"What have you done since the birth? A kiss on the cheek and the only touch is to help me stand or sit. You might think that I am wrong to think such things, but I am only basing it on a comparison of what it was like before and after."

With a heavy sigh, I pulled her into my arms with as many apologies as I could fit in before she tried to pull away from me again. She didn't, something that I was incredibly grateful for.

"You and I are in new territory here Sarah; I know that your emotions are very high at the moment but please understand that there is no one that I want except for you. I've never had to deal with a woman that's just had a child, I know that your body is still healing yet I want nothing more than to do very filthy things to you, and inside I am completely torn up because it is just so wrong."

Sarah looked up at me, her arms wrapped around my waist. I wiped the tears from under her eyes and gripped her head below her ears. With one soft kiss, more tears fell freely but best of all, there was a smile.

"Being conflicted is not something that I am used to. The rational side of me says, leave her be, she's in pain, she's just pushed a fat head out, and I am the last thing that you would want. But then the irrational side says that you are just too divine to be ignored, that you should be loved emotionally and physically and that the physically would be just so much fun."

I kissed her again, hoping that it would make her feel more loved.

"Rational won for the physical I'm afraid, not until your body has healed. I didn't realise that I'd been so distant, maybe I'm just so smitten with our creation."

Looking down into those sad blue eyes, I realised that in such little time passing, he'd become more interesting and dare I say it, my favourite. I hated myself for it; it was a horrible thing to do to her.

It was wrong; I wasn't going to play favourites between my wife and child. As I kissed her Brannon began to cry, he'd barely cried since his birth, and he decides that now is the right time to start.

Sarah pulled back with a pained smile, leaving to tend to our son. I'd fix this. Somehow I would make this right. We would be what we once were; I just had to remember to be more physical towards her. Hold her hand, kiss and hug her constantly and never stop looking at her with desire.

There was nothing that was going to stand in our way.