Broken Home

XV

TRIGGER WARNING !!!!!!!!!!

Ashton

She pushed me.

The ice cold water splashed as I fell into it, screaming my head off. I tried not to breath, but I breathed in water anyways. The water went into my lungs, and I could feel my body trying to get it out. More and more water entered my lungs until everything went dark.

My entire body felt so heavy, everything was dizzy. I couldn't really tell what was happening.

Was I drowning or was I already dead?

Just when I thought it couldn't get anymore weird, I felt all the water in my lungs being sucked out. I coughed out water and my eyes flew open. Connor lay on top of me, breathing air into my mouth. I pushed her off me.

She coughed and turned bright red. I breathed in deeply, my face getting hot every time I looked back at Connor. She was crying, and soaking wet.

I felt like I was freezing, even though my face was burning up. My hair dripped ice cold water, and the breath coming out my mouth turned to mist. I shivered and crossed my arms over my chest, thinking it would help.

I watched as Connor fell back on her back and let out a loud sob. There were people around us, on their phones and talking loudly. People asked me if I was okay, but I ignored them. I knew Paparazzi were going to come after me soon.

Just as I was about to stand up and run, a familiar voice yelled.

"ASHTON!" I heard what sounded like Michael yell.

I turned around and saw Michael running towards me, Luke and Calum following after me. Anger boiled in my veins the moment they stopped in front of me and began to help me up. I pushed them off me and rejected their big, warm jackets. I watched as Connor shivered in Luke's arms.

Jealousy washed over me.

"Ashton, let's go." Calum put his jacket on my shoulders.

I shrugged it off and took off running.

"ASHTON!" I heard them yell.

As I ran, silence grew.

I started yelling, trying to get rid of it.

Not only did I hate the silence, I was terrified of it.

People around me stopped and stared as I ran down streets. I dodged getting hit by a few cars and ran towards the woods.

I approached the gate, the one that stood between the peace of the woods and the stress of the world.

I pushed the gate open with a weak hand, and walked in. I breathed in the cold, crisp air, trying my hardest not to cry.

I could have died.

I wonder what death feels like.

Is there really something called heaven?

Will I go somewhere or will I be sent to lead a new life?

Is it just silent? Is it darkness? Is it depressing thoughts?

What if I did die?

What would happen if it's really was just silence?

I'd go crazy.

I sat on a log, and held back my tears. I didn't want to cry. The birds chirped in the trees, the wind blew. The trees swayed and the sunlight brightened the place.

I took in the peace.

Peace.

That's all I want. A peaceful life without having to mess up my life because of stupid managers or have to lose the love of my life for a stupid band. I'd rather stay with Bryana, but I heard she moved on.

I finally let the tears flow.

I started shouting, crying hysterically, punching the bark of the tree. I cut my knuckles when I punched the bark. It felt so good.

I watched the blood drip down my hand. I punched the tree again, but this time it truly hurt. I yelped in pain, jumping up and down holding my hands.

I was so angry, at myself.

I wanted to die, but I didn't either.

I laid on the log, shivering. The cold wind hit my face, it was so cold my teeth began to chatter. I wanted to go back into a warm, nice home with food and warm clothes.

But it's too late to go back to anyone.

Bryana has her new boyfriend, I'm too angry at the boys, I've already hurt Connor enough, and there's no way on earth Mum will let me back in. I sneezed violently, my head beginning to hurt. I groaned and curled up into a little ball.

I closed my eyes and fell asleep on the cold log, shivering and sneezing the entire night away.