Today was the day everyone left to go back.
Everyone including Kyle. I don't know how to act since he kissed me. When no one was looking he would hold my hand.
But I was scared.
I was scared he would leave me because the pressure is to much.
It is always to much.
No one can deal with me for a long amount of time.
They all get tired and don't want me anymore it always happens
Kyle one night crawled into my bed with me and cuddled me all night long. I felt safe, and glad to be with him.
Though when he left he did nothing but hug me and leave.
Sometimes it just seems things don't go the way we want. We continued talking and I flirted with him and he took but never flirted with me.
Kyle confuses me. It is usually so easy to tell what he wants but now I don't know. I feel like he doesn't want me.
I went out with Matthew, Damon, and Carson to the Groove because Bryan went back home for the holidays. We were all laughing and making snapchat stories and eating all vegan meals.
"So Johnnieeeee." Matthew says staring at me with this face I can't describe.
"Yeah."
"How are you and Kyle?"
"I honestly don't know." I feel like my face dropped and I got a sad look because Matthew had the face of 'oh I shouldn't have asked that.'
"When all of MDE was here we kissed and it felt great to be with him, but when he left it was just like we were just friends and nothing more. When I flirted with him he didn't flirt back."
"Maybe hes scared Johnnie." Carson says coming into the conversation.
"Maybe, I just don't want to go through the pain. I still love him from the first time he left me and I feel so lost and broken without him. I can't go through me thinking he loves me and then he leaves me again."
"Maybe you just gotta stop loving him. I know it's difficult but it seems like the best option for you."
"I guess."
So it seems that is how it goes. We went on the MDE tour together and he tried to kiss me once but I rejected it. I started to move on from him.
Sometimes no matter how hard we try the person we love will never love us back the same way.
End of the chapter. Sorry this took so long I kind of forgot about my wattpad tbh and btw i started a youtube channel today look up lauren andrews :p. Hope yoy all enjoyed and check out my lynn gunn fanfic
