Caught Up (SERIES PT. 3)

Pt. 15

LANA'S POV

"Dont get ahead of yourself nigga, this right here? Off limits". Jay started grabbing on me and even though I wanted more I had to play hard. He honestly wasnt going to get anything from me no time soon, im not even planning on it.

"Atleast give me my kisses, I miss those lips". I grabbed his face and kissed him after I took the blowpop out of my mouth. "Hm I might need you to have a blow pop in your mouth everytime before you kiss me cause your lips taste so good".

"Omg you so dam nasty".

"I cant help it Lana. I missed you so much you dont understand. Im glad I have you back".

"Hold on now. You dont have me back, lets just live in the moment ok? I dont wanna jump the gun on anything". I had to make it clear that were not together, but all this does feel nice to be honest. Just laying here with him, I cant put it into words.

"Alright alright. So you ready for tonight? In a few hours its do or die".

"Yeah I believe im ready. I mean its so much going on right now that being here is taking my mind off it all and is helping me focus. So I got this".

"Whats going on?".

"Boy. You aint ready to hear all that, right now aint the time". I had to laugh a bit because he just dont know. And to be honest telling him whats going on would probably make him push more towards me.

"Hmph. Must be that bad huh". I nodded my head and laid my head on his chest. "Lana, ive let this go for a while but now its something I want you to be honest about. Are you happy with your girlfriend?".

"Jay please, dont kill the mood".

"Seriously girl, I need to know this. If your not happy why you cant say that?".

"Because of the outcome of saying it, look I dont want to bring up anything like I said before lets just live in the moment".

"You know keeping shit in is not good. Like how long we gone keep living in the moment? Come on Lana, this has been eating me alive".

"Fine fine". I took a deep breathe and just let everything out. "Im not happy, something is missing. But I do love Frankie she basically has my entire life".

"So why you here with me". I knew he was going to do this, I just knew it. I took another deep breath, sat up and put my back against the wall.

"Im here because im falling for you again. I didnt want to say anything because I know how you are. But I am and its scary because we arent suppose to be here right now. Im suppose to be with Frankie and the kids living life. But im here with a guy that I still have love for hoping for a nightmare to end".

"Oh so im a nightmare, how wonderful".

"Noo not you retard. I talking about all the confusion thats going on. Its crazy to me". He grabbed my hand and made me lay next to him again.

"Let me tell you this. I love you. You might not understand that or feel that but I do. Now im not trying to play the side nigga roll thats not me but you know im here 100% no matter what the situation is. I let you out of my life once, and now you here again and im not going to let it happen twice. Lana I want you, every aspect of you. Every form of you. Every physical, mental, emotional being of you. If your not happy where you are you know this is your place too. You know what I want, you know what I can give you. Im not trying to throw her under the bus because I dont know her. But I know I am not perfect but I am different this time around, I became better for myself and my eyes are as alert as ever. Right now its all about your happiness and I wanna be able to do that for you".