Caught Up (SERIES PT. 3)

Pt. 5

LANA'S POV

These last few days with Frankie has been everything ive been asking for. But when its all over I feel something missing within me. Its like we can have a good ass time together but when I lay down at night thats when my mind really thinks and thats when I feel that incompletness. Its scary because I see what Frankie is doing and I LOVE it but for some reason its just not enough. I was going to go to Des house so we can go to the park and work out. This was the perfect time to talk about everything and I really need her words. Even though Des is one crazy ass female thats family and she knows how to turn that craziness on and off. I pulled up in front of her house and I brought Innocence with me so she can play at the play ground. She has has been dying to go for a week now so now she's in the backseat all hype. I blew the horn waiting on Des slow behind. I told her 9:30 Its 9:50, she get that slow stuff from her mama. My auntie take forever to go EVERYWHERE. Its sad I know. She finally came out and got in the car.

"Sorry cousin I was straightening up. You know im a neat freak". I just laughed and shook my head. "Hey cutie! You rocking with your cuzzo today?". Des gave Innocence a high five and I pulled off so we can get this workout going. And I wanted to talk to Des too.

We got to the park and it wasnt many people out which was better for me. I be wanting to run in peace, and I like the course this one has. Its around the playground so I can keep and eye on Innocence, and the course tells you how far you have ran. Me and Des stretched and I told Innocence to go ahead and play. It was a nice day out and enough breeze coming through today which is very unusual in Miami since it be nothing but heat. I aint gone complain though. We finished stretching and started on our workout. I was hesitant to talk to Des for some reason I dont know why but every time I told myself I was going to say what I had to say but it wouldnt come out.

"Hey Des .. I wanna get something off my chest". I wiped the sweat from off my forehead and stopped running.

"Wait why you stopping? Talk and run. Come on".
I started running again and grew some balls.

"Ok just promise me you will NOT do the extra shit".

"I promise". We linked pinkies together and I took the deepest breath ever blurting out what I wanted to say.

"I think my feelings for Frankie are fading". Des stopped and gave me a strange look. Strange enough for me not to figure out if it was a bad look or a good one. "Can you stop doing that and say something?".

"What can I say? Im shocked that after all these years, thats the last thing I would expect to come from your mouth. What happened?".

"Thats the thing I dont know. Like she's been so sweet and you know trying so hard to win me over again. But im not feeling it like I use to which is scary. I truly love this girl but for some reason its like its dying". The impression she was giving me was more like she couldnt wrap her head around it other than being excited about me feeling this way towards Frankie.

"Ok now I know me and Frankie have our differences but do you really feel like that? Or is this you feeling it in the moment though?". I shrugged my shoulders. "Are you going to even tell her? You cant hide it forever. Gone kill yourself".

"I got this. I just needed to get it off my chest. But I feel a little better, although I just dont know how to tell her at all".

"Well you know I got your back 100%". Innocence ran up to me letting me know she had to use the bathroom. "I gotta go too".

"Uh uh yall got the same bladder or something? The rex center back that way, yall go ahead ima try to get two more laps in". I gave Des the keys to my car and they drive over to the rex center. Running and being myself just gave me a little time to think about everything and try to get this feeling off of me. I love Frankie to the death of me and for me to be feeling this way makes me feel like it has something to do with me. Something im missing within myself. I need to figure out a game plan to tell Frankie, I honestly dont have the balls to because I really really dont want to hurt her feelings. But I know I cant hide it forever. Starting to run again I ran a little bit harder than earlier. As I made my way around the first curve, not too far away from where I was running I seen someone. A familair face. I instantly stopped, squinted my eyes and put my hand on my forehead so that I was blocking the sun from my face. I realized who it was and instantly started running again and this time towards the rex center. I felt like I was running the 100 meter dash but I know in reality I wasnt running that fast because even though I didnt wanna look back to see who was behind me but I could hear shoes pounding on the concret creeping up on me. I was so close to the rex center when I felt someone grab me on my shoulders and stopped me.

"I know who this is. Just leave me alone. Please?".

"I just wanna talk to you. 20 seconds. Just need you to turn around". I slowly turned around facing my enemy but backed away a few feet. The face I was looking at was Jay and somehow that anger I felt towards him rose but slowly died down. But it kept repeating itself and in my head im saying should I even give him the time of day. He tried to come closer but I let him know arm distance, and 20 seconds started this very moment. "How are you? You look good". He eyed me up and down and realized the ring on my finger that Frankie gave me. "I can see your really good". He grabbed my hand and looked at it closely.

"I am. Really really good. Look your 20 seconds up and I gotta go".

"Wait wait! I just need to get this off my chest really quick". I gave him the look and folded my arms. "I miss you, I really really really miss you and I know I fucked up horribly. And I never really got to tell you how sorry I am".

"No. No! Im not doing this I gotta go". I ran into the rex center looking for my car in the parking lot. It was the only red wine jeep here so it wasnt hard to find at all. I put my back to my car and took deep breaths. Out of all people he would be the one that shows back up in my life. I wouldve allowed anyone else to show up before him and now that he did I have to shake him off. Shake his words off. His face. His presence. I can not go down the road and I refuse to let him distract me from my real problem. Fixing how I feel for Frankie and getting us back to how we use to as soon as possible. Just so I dont have doubt in our relationship, just so I know that we are fighters and not give up when neither one of us can agree on something. I seen Des and Innocence coming towards the car. I fixed myself up, looked at myself through my car window and waited for them.

"You finished already?". Des asked me handing me the keys.

"Um yeah. Had to blow off some steam so I ran just a little bit faster. And I just made my way over here".

"Hmph. Ok cool". We got in the car and headed out to smoothie king. As we were driving I seen Jay getting his stuff to leave. I sped up just a little just the sight of him made me feel some type of way.

"Aye aint that..".

"No".

"I swear that was j..".

"Des I said no!".

"Ok ok fine". She threw her hands in the air and I turned on the radio.