Oh God Ridge please don’t ask me for help. I can’t help you I can’t, I don’t know how. I caused this I’m sorry but I can’t help you I’m too awkward. Why do you want me to? Surely there’s someone else..? But he grabs my arm and his eyes are desperate. He looks so, lost.
“Please…” he repeats. I glance at him and sigh. I can’t help it. He looks so sad, so alone, like how I feel sometimes. I pull my arm away and gesture to a box. We sit down and my mind races at what to say. I look away awkwardly, examining the floor. Finally I say, “So, how are you feeling?” What. Why did I even ask that? He just looks at me. He opens his mouth to say something and then closes it. “Kind of numbing isn’t it? Feels like you’re detached from everyone? I know that feeling all too well.”
He nodded. “Where are your parents?” he asked.
“They’re dead. My mother died in childbirth and my father left and was killed years ago.”
He looked up. “Then how are you on this ship?”
Oh… crap. “My father worked in the government. With your dad I’m pretty sure. I’ve been alone for a long time.”
“Oh… do you have siblings?”
I wince. “My mother tried, but the pills she took didn’t work. That’s why I look like this, they mutated me. I’m not sure why I’m telling you this, I don’t usually tell people that…”
“That’s okay, I just needed someone to talk to.”
“I don’t think I’m helping anything… but, it will get better you know. You just have to accept the fact he’s gone and move on, even if it’s just for the sake of others right now. People don’t know how to help you so you have to help yourself. You have to look at the future and think of all the good things that could happen, especially on Novelta. We have all these new chances in front of us; we just have to get there. Pushing yourself away from everyone won’t help; it will just make you feel worse. You don’t have to be all happy-go-lucky but you do have to try. Instead of sitting alone dwelling on it go out and do something. Well, at least try to anyway. It’ll get better eventually, but you just have to not give up.” Damn, that was deep for me…
He’s silent for a moment. “My dad gave up…”
“Then prove that he was wrong to do so. Prove that you’re stronger than that.” I reach over and squeeze his hand gently. I’m not sure why but it felt right. He half-smiles and looks at me.
“Thank you…” he whispered. I nod awkwardly as my face turns red. I feel so awkward now; I’ve never really spoken like that to someone before. I guess I can sort of relate to him maybe? I don’t know… After a few more minutes I say I have to go, and I head to my room. As I shut the door behind me I curse. Why did I have to enact my revenge like that? My dad was long gone, and I didn’t even know the whole story! Well it’s too late now… And I need to relax. The Valentine’s Dance is in a few days now, and I’m all ready for some… fun.
I’m actually feeling excited right now, what do you know? It’s finally time for the dance, and I even dressed up. I didn’t get a custom dress or anything stupid like that, but I did pick out one with Mrs. Tahoe’s help. It’s short and black, with a bright red bow in the back that matches my eyes. I was really surprised when Mrs. Tahoe offered at the end of class to help me; she’s so nice to me. She must know I don’t have friends on here. My hair is loosely curled and hangs past my dress around my waist. It’s been awhile since I let it down like this. A small black bag carries my entertainment for the night: alcohol. There’s several bottles in the large bowl of punch. Well, this shall be fun. I take a cup for myself as the music starts and I stand and watch people walk in. I try not to laugh as some guys get punch for their group. I’m just hoping for someone to embarrass themselves. After awhile the dance is filling up. He looks cute with his little fancy getup. He walks over to get a glass of punch. I walk over and say, “I wouldn’t do that…”
He looks confused. “Why?” he asks.
“It’s spiked. Just thought I’d warn you. It’s quite fun to watch people get drunk really.”
He laughs a little and gets a cup anyways. As I watch the already tipsy dancers I feel his gaze on me. I look over.
“You look nice,” he says.
I blink and blush; I’m not used to compliments. “Thanks… you do too.” Hmm… I think it’s time for another cup.
