I Can Finally Breath

This poem means a lot to me and I know that it's short. I will make sure to make longer ones. Hopefully you like it and once again let me know if you have any requests for poems! :)

Every time I enter the world and leave my home.

I see you.

On my way to that plaza that we would always go to. I still see us sitting and talking.

Laughing about old times. Telling each other old stories. I was so happy.

We were so happy.

What happened to that? I always from time to time laugh about the dumb jokes you'd tell me and all the funny accents you'd do to cheer me up when I was sad.

I remember taking walks around the block with the dogs and stroll and talk about anything.

You'd vent to me. I'd vent to you.

It was our only time to be open and tell each other how much we cared about each other.

I cared about you?

That at the time I didn't or probably didn't want to accept that I was giving so much and you didn't.

You never did.

You didn't care to leave me alone.

Nights when I would cry and question every little that I thought I said that was wrong. Replaying every scenario in my mind.

I would modify myself. I wouldn't eat. You notice and told me to stop. Then I thought for a second that you cared. Because you helped me with my insecurities.

I loved that about you.

You made me feel safe. I didn't care if my real self came out. But then it just all came falling apart. Because you wanted to go off the cliff but

I didn't want to.

You'd drag me.

Plead me to.

And I kept saying that I wasn't ready.
You insisted. And you didn't understand.

So you left.

You left me with that hope.

My birthday came I waited for you to come in case you did. I didn't want to leave my house. Because I didn't want to take the chance.

But you didn't.

Then you fooled me into thinking that maybe Valentines Day. I even had the thought in my head that you'd come and I for one second would think that you liked me for whom I was. Just like how I did for you.

But you didn't.

I hated myself for thinking that you did care but you don't. I gave so much of myself. I was sooo stupid.

And I want to continue on. But. I can't. I just can't. I just don't see myself being with someone because I have guilt and it's not fair.

I have the hope that just in case you come back we can talk. And find some way of being able to fix something. That even though I know it's not worth fixing.

I just to need to know. I've had this question. For the past year. I have always denied that I hate you. But I just want to know if you'll ever say sorry. I know that I can't do anything with sorry. And I know that it's dumb to think this. It's just I imagined so much that would happen with us.

Because for the first time I thought I finally did something that you saw and that you liked about me. It was always about what did you want. What do you like. What did you want to do. What can I do to make you happy.

I never took a time to make me happy. I never took a time to just go away. To just go and think. I just want that. I just want to go.

I don't want be here. I want to go to the beach and just feel the breeze. That I loved so much and that I know that loves me.

I know that the breeze will let me finally breath and breath.

I can breath. And I will never take that for granted ever again.