I Can Finally Breath

Always See It Never Let It Go

This is the second part to the series of poems I will be doing. Hopefully you like them and thanks you so much for reading. I will post all my poems in this series called "I Can Finally Breath" thanks again

I've already wrapped around my mind that you're gone. That I don't want to see you. But why am I thinking about you now.

I don't care about how you are. I just have that feeling in the pit of my stomach that I'm gonna see you.

It scares me.

If you'd see me, you'd see how dead I look and how much I have lost sleep because the dark circles under my eyes can't fool anyone.

I wish you can see the pain and feel how I've felt. I thought I was fine. But then I catch myself thinking about you at 3AM.

I don't sleep well as I use to anymore.

I'm  sure you're sleeping fine.

You don't care.

I used to see my future. Now it's just a blur. I'm trying to build it on my own. I want to build my future just a part of me wishes that you're in it.

But I know you don't want to be.

I catch myself fading away in my thoughts when I drive. I don't think or feel anything. I do hear just how much of the world goes on and I can hear the distance between us and how it's been too far to see.

I don't see you anymore.

But I still feel you.

I still you're face in my mind when I close my eyes.

I can't seem to get you out of my head. I haven't cried in months. I feel that I've wasted and finished all my tears. I don't know how to feel anymore.

I just feel like I'm dead. That I have a pulse but I don't have a soul. I'm scared to love and to feel loved.

Because it's beyond my conformity. I don't believe in committing to anyone or being committed to one person whom loves me for who I am.

My hope is shattered.

I don't ever think you'll come back but just in case you do.

I will listen. But I won't go back to you. No matter how much I would love to.

I just can't. It's just not healthy. I don't want it to feel forced.

Scared.

Terrible.

Threatening.

Being terrified. Always biting my tongue. Not expressing how I felt. I will not and so help me God that I don't ever go into another relationship like this.

I'd most rather be alone for as long as I need and then hopefully the near future.

I will find love. Love that I deserve. Love that is unconditionally and uncontrollably amazing.

That this person whomever race, and or general personality is able to love me as much as I love them.

Because even though I have said that I don't believe in love. I really do believe that it's out their but I just don't see it.

But I know that whenever love comes to me I will see it in them.

Always see it. And never let go of it.