I Can Finally Breath

I'm Going To Get Their

I've tried so hard to forget about you.

I still cry.

From time to time.

I hate it that I do.

You don't deserve my tears.

Thoughts.

But I don't think you know how or what damage you've done to me.

I've changed a lot for the better. I believe in something better and bigger  for myself.

I want to go places and help people. The goal of being able to do things for other people. Is what thrives within me.

I want to inspire people.

But most of all I want to love.

I'm scared to.

I don't think I'm able to be in the mindset that someone will be with me for the rest of my life.

The fact that I'm thinking that at such a young age scares me. I've learned to love me.

My pillow cases say 'happily ever after' the word 'happily' is on one pillow and the rest on the other.

I sleep on 'ever after'. 

I say that I'm happy and I really am. But I just don't see it or feel like in my 'forever after'.

I know that sounds like a little bit scary and a bit confusing.

Just that I think of it that I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum.

I believe in forever but I don't think anyone would be happy with that.

People are scared of seeing and feeling this.

I've given up on hoping that someone would be completely committed to me.

I don't know what that security feels like. The future that I had seen for so long I don't believe in anymore.

I'm just seeing a future of myself.

Being with me.

I don't see anyone in my life.

Because I just got to know me first. I'm not so sure whom that person is yet but I know I'm going to get their :)