Snow for the Dragon

Midnight Memories

She couldn't sleep. She had been trying for the last few hours without any success. She had never gotten the chance to thank him. His warm, strong arms had for a moment become her shelter, a place where she could let go of the utter fear she had felt when the Duke had attacked her and tried to undre. ..... she didn't want to think about that. Shivering with disgust she threw away the covers and jumped out of bed, putting on her robe as she walked to the window. The moon was shining and the stars were glittering, not a cloud to be seen. It was a beautiful night, but all she could see was green eyes filled with compassion, strength and recognition. Eyes that had promised her shelter. Eyes that had trusted her. Even at her lowest, at her most dangerous, he had trusted her. He had not turned against her or tried to stop her in any other way than reaching out to her.He even told her that starting tomorrow, he would give her defense training, with or without using her ice powers. Why had he done it? How had he known what to say? It had almost been like he had known, as if he spoken from experience, but how could that be? She hadn't even had the chance to thank him. Once her tears were gone, she had been so tired and in silence he had held her until he had reminded her that they had to plan how to tell what had just happened in the best way. Not once had it been suggested that anyone should know how she, in her fear and anger, had lost control... or how he had saved her from herself. He had told her what no one else had ever told her before. He had told her that she held the love, that she held the warmth, that she was strong. He had not said that that strength would allow her to control herself, he had said that it would allow her embrace who she was and not succumb to the person she could be. Embracing meant letting something in. Controlling meant caging in, handling or pushing away, a temporary solution. Even after she had learned that love was the key to thaw, she had controlled it, never embracing who she was, never allowing herself to accept what she had learnt should be contained since she was little.As she shut her eyes, all she could see were big kind green eyes that provided her with the warmth she needed in a time of fear and anger. She could feel his arms wrapping around her, his warm, strong body telling her that he was not leaving her. That he trusted her, that it was okay, that he understood, that she was allowed to be different, that he was going to stay with her no matter who she was.

Then....to her shock, she realized she had something extremely ungrateful. She hadn't even thanked him. I have to thank him.She thought as she bolted towards the door . Running out of her room, she slammed the door open, not even closing it as she rushed out into the hallway, her bare feet echoing in the corridors as she ran up towards Hiccup's room. She sighed and took a deep breath. She knocked on it three times. "Hiccup? " , she whispered, not wanting to wake up the castle. There was no answer. She tried pushing it open to find it empty. He was not in bed and neither was toothless, who Hiccup had insisted on letting him stay in his room. He was probably out in the grounds somewhere. She just hoped he was still on ground and not in the air, as she bolted down the hallway, and down the marble staircases and into the courtyard as the bright moonlight lit her pale face. The moon was shining, lighting up the world with its ghostly white light. It was no longer full, instead it had started its journey towards darkness. It would disappear from the sky, ending an era before returning to begin a new once more. An eternal cycle over the sky.But she didn't have time to admire all that. She had to find him.

As she walked along the several hedgerows and bushes, he was nowhere to be seen. Then, she heard a distinct yelling coming from the banks of the fjord that she automatically recognized as his voice. She quietly crept along and followed the voice. Sure enough, she saw him and Toothless siting on the ground at the calm water's edge. She heard him whisper to his dragon, "Sorry, bud.". Toothless cooed softly as he gave Hiccup a small lick. She took in a deep breath and began walking up closer to them from behind.

"Hiccup?" At the small, quiet voice both Hiccup and Toothless flew up from the ground, Hiccup with Inferno drawn while Toothless growled angrily, both a little a little embarrassed when they registered who had spoken."Queen Elsa, I am sorry...y- you startled us." Hiccup said as he looked at her. Elsa seemed to be glow in the moonlight and for the first time her hair was flowing freely like silver down her back. Her ice-blue eyes were shinning as they reflected the moon and she was only wearing a thin light purple robe over a white nightdress, no shoes on her feet. Looking at her simple attire, Hiccup was reminded that he was only wearing a shirt and loose pants, having not put on his armor since he had left his room in the spur of the moment
He hadn't been able to sleep all night, haunting memories of his father and Drago piercing his heart. He fekt relaxed when he saw that she was also just as underdressed as he was. It was as if they had taken away yet another layer between them, breaking down the facades even more.
"No I'm sorry, I shouldn't have sneaked up on you. I just wasn't expecting anyone to be here and then I heard your scream and I..." She looked down at her hands, trailing off as she didn't know what to say. "What's its name?" She asked when she looked up again, gesturing to the still burning sword in his hand. He chuckled softly. "Inferno.Its a retractable sword. Although I tend to classify it as a firesaber. A light sword.". He told her, retracting the sword, making it look completely harmless once more. "I am sorry, I'm a little on alert tonight.".She gave him a small smile."After everything that has happened that is to be understood." Elsa replied, her eyes showing that she was in conflict with herself before asking,"Do you mind if I join you?". "No, of course not." Hiccup answered and to his surprise she didn't sit down on the bench, instead she sat down next to him on the ground, looking out over the fjord as their reflection shimmered in the moonlight. "I couldn't sleep." She suddenly whispered, twirling the end of her hair between her fingers.
"Well, neither could I." He replied, happy when he saw the hint of a smile on her face. "How are you feeling?" He asked, for he had not gotten the chance to ask her after the rush that had followed once they had left the study the night before. "I guess I'm doing okay....I still feel violated but mostly I just..." She trailed off, but Hiccup stayed quiet, feeling that she didn't really want him to break the silence. "So, Inferno, how does it work?" She asked instead, changing the subject and he accepted that she maybe didn't want to talk about what had happened.He smiled and held out the hilt of the bad in his hand. It looked like a useless piece of metal work, with dragons engraved onto it. "It's actually one of the constructions I am pretty proud of, the blade is retractable and is covered with--". "I never thanked you." She suddenly interrupted him, looking at him with tears in her eyes she clearly was trying to hold back. "You are the first who has said to me that it's okay... to be who I am... everyone else has always told me to control it, that I am supposed to control it." She said, in a bitter tone . "My parents always told me that controlling my power was necessary, that I..." She trailed off once more and he could see the storm in her eyes."You don't have to tell me, Elsa." Hiccup told her earnestly. She had been through a lot just over the last twenty-four hours and he didn't want to push her. Still, it seemed as if his words were exactly what she needed to hear for she gave him a sad smile. "You are probably the most compassionate person I have ever met. I want you to understand..." And so she told him about how she, while growing up, had been confined to the castle, how her parents had tried to teach her how to control her power, pushing her more and more each time it broke free, causing the hatred for being different and the fear of her power to grow until she had looked upon it as a monster within, something she had been cursed with and that should be locked away.
She told him how she, in the end, had started to turn away from the outside world and how it in the end had culminated when Anna had pushed her at her coronation until the power had broken free. How she had decided to break free and leave her life behind her but ended up freezing her while kingdom in eternal winter.
She told him that she had learned how love was the key. "I know that what happened with Anna when we were little was just an accident." She concluded. "But growing up I learned to fear myself, to never trust in the power within, that it was something I should never let anyone see. "And so you never accepted it, you have never accepted who you are." Hiccup concluded as Elsa sighed and nodded her head. "I haven't been able to, I have used my power but I have seen it as a tool, not something I want to have. But what you said to me last night... I know that you are right, I need to embrace it, it is a part of me and I never struggled before Anna's accident. I loved it. Sure my parents made certain it was a secret, but at least I was allowed to use it.""You can get there again." Hiccup wispered to her as she sent him a grateful smile. Then here brows furrowed in slightly doubt. "How do you know? How can you be certain that I will?" She asked, staring at her hands with doubt. Seeing the look on her face, Hiccup reached out and took them in his own, turning them over as he held them next to his so they could see the contrasts. Her skin was pale, soft and glowing in the moonlight. His skin, although just as pale as her skin, was not as soft. It had hardened over the years in the armoury and in dragon wars. He caught himself thinking that his hands probably felt like the way Stoick's did . "Do you remember what I told you about my dad putting me to work in the blacksmith?" He asked her, trying to ignore the tingles that seemed to travel through him when Elsa suddenly began tracing some of the hard edges on his palm.
"Yes... distinctly." She told him while she traced a burn he had gotten from a spark from Ruffnut and Tuffnut's Zippleback that had once exploded by accident, her ice cold fingers feeling strangely comforting as they ran along his palm. "He did it to try and change me, to bulk me up and try to make me more of a Viking." Hiccup said and at his words, Elsa looked up at him with a small frown.
"Why would he do that?" She asked and Hiccup couldn't help to smile at her words, though there was no warmth behind it, his own resentment slowly waking up inside.
"Vikings are supposed to be hard, tough. ..well... more like Snotlout. And we are supposed to be incredibly stubborn and fierce..... I was none of those things, well except for the stubbornness part I suppose." He said grimacing, feeling a bit happy when he saw the smile that spread over her face. "But apart from that, I was everything a Viking was not supposed to be. I was an outsider from the day I could walk and that my dad was the most fierce Viking of all didn't help. While the other Vikings my age trained with their swords or were beating each other up, I sat in a small room Gobber had fixed for me and did drawings of ideas and inventions. I was clumsy and always in the way; it was actually the general view that it probably had been better if I had gone away."."That's horrible." Elsa said sadly, Hiccup giving her a reproachful look. She didn't know that he was so similar to her and held so much pain inside himself. She rubbed his hand comfortingly with her thumbs as Hiccup continued. "Gobber....h-he kept me going, supporting me as much as he could. It finally changed when I found Toothless and I accepted that I was different, for had I not been I would have killed him. Me being different gave me my best friend." At his words, Toothless gave Hiccup an affectionate lick on the hand. "Things changed after we defeated the Red Death. The dragons moved in and since I had a special connection with them I went from outsider to hero in a very short period of time. But despite all of this I am still different, what has changed is that I have accepted that I will never be like them, I will only be Hiccup." He said, clasping her hands in his once more as he looked into her eyes that were still vulnerable.He sighed loudly to relieve the stress. "What I mean to say...is that I know how it feels to try and be someone you are not, to change and try to push a part of you away. As you know it doesn't work, it only leaves us angry and bitter, but with some time you can change and accept who you are. I have done it and I know you will too." He said and Elsa smiled at him, a strange feeling of warmth spreading within her as she felt how she connected to the man in front of her on a deeper level.