Snow for the Dragon

Reluctance

It had been a little more than five months since the Vikings, Rapunzel and Eugene had left Arendelle to go back home. Christmas was fast approaching and the whole kingdom was busy in decoration.
.The past five months that had seemed more like five years than anything else. Life at court had returned to normal for everyone except for Elsa, she was changed. The endless dinners, plans and political alliances had always left her a bit tired, but they had been her purpose and given her life meaning. Now they only seemed to stretch out in all eternity and while she often had had the feeling that life sometimes was passing her by, she had never felt that she was losing a part of life that she wanted. Of course she was well aware of the reason for her new feelings, they all came from the loss and the void in her heart that he had left behind. Hiccup.The first three months, she lived I complete denial to the fact that she had devi feelings for him wich were beyond 'just friends'. She even began to try and allow to be courted by at least three Lords and princes so far. But it was of no use. She couldn't forget him. Her mind and body didn't want to. Hiccup had thawed her heart, a feat no one had ever succeeded with before. He had spread his warmth to her, filling her with feelings that she had never felt and now when he was gone her heart longed after those feelings again.
So instead of fighting, Elsa had accepted the fact that she would long for him and that she would always wonder what they could have been. What she hadn't excepted though was how much these questions would haunt her, but then again she was everyday reminded of how much happiness love could bring to two people.Married life had turned out to fit both Anna and Kristoff extremely well, their love for each other simply growing more and more as time passed. Of course this brought Elsa a lot of happiness, for she wanted nothing more than Anna's happiness, but at the same time it constantly reminded her that she could never have what they shared.Seeing them together, Elsa was always a little emotionally torn for, while she was genuinely happy for them, she also felt a deep envy towards the couple. She was envious for what they shared and that when she had been given the opportunity to, perhaps, experience the same it had been taken away from her because of the life she had been born into.

Elsa had always said that should she ever fall in love, it would be with a man who could love her, not her title. Hiccup already had all the power he wanted, he had seen her as a person, not a Queen, and she had seen him. He had never backed down from an argument, he had accepted her power, challenged her and kept on intriguing her. He had understood her better than anyone else and had made her realize that she was enough, she just needed to accept it herself. If it had been any man she could have loved, it would have been Chief Hiccup Haddock Horrendous III. A Viking who came from from the high north. A man who was stubborn and unrefined. Oh what would her papa say if he saw that both his daughter had fallen in love with rough and outdoorsy men , rather than the perfect princes and Lords they were expected to fall for. Sure, Hiccup was the king of his land, and seemed to be bea lot more refined than most other vikings . But he was still very rugged compared to all the princes and Lords who had courted her after him. It didn't matter where he came from. She was his equal in status as he was hers. He had managed to change her for the better. He had managed to make her start accepting herself. It had been difficult, for she had lived so long separating parts of herself, but finally there was no longer a struggle within. Along with the acceptance for who she was, her control over her power had changed as well. She no longer need to think about the love of others to make it thaw. Instead she had rediscovered a place within her heat that held a warm acceptance for herself, an immovable inner core that now anchored her power to the knowledge of who she truly was, not who she feared she could be.
It had been a huge revelation for her when she understood that the key to unlocking her control had never been love at all, love was the way to thaw the cold. The key to unlocking her control had been self discovery and understanding that her power would only be what she wanted it to be. Sure, she had Anna's love and she was more than thankful for that. But that was never enough. She had to love herself. Hiccup had shown her that.