Dolan Twins Imagines

Imagine #5: You Smoke- Ethan

You and Ethan have been dating for three years and in those three years you have managed to hide your tobacco addiction from him. Whether you would smoke outside, or keep a tooth brush in your purse, you did anything for him to not find out. You knew he hated it when people smoked. He would comment on it every time you would walk by someone smoking.

"Smoking is the most disgusting thing someone can do," he would say.

His comments hurt you. You tried to quit but you just couldn't. You've been smoking since 18 and you're now 23. It's been really hard for you to hide it from him. If he found out, you knew he would be very mad.

One day while Ethan was at work, you were out on your balcony smoking. This was the best time for you to escape to your cigarette pack since Ethan works for 8 hours 5 days a week and never comes home during lunch. However today was different. You were on your second cigarette when you heard the front door slam. You couldn't tell if it was Ethan or an intruder. Either way, you were scared.

"Y/n? Where are you?" You heard Ethan say.

You frantically put out your cigarette and walked inside. Ethan was already in your bedroom and he looked confused when he saw you walk in.

"Hey! What are you doing home," you said nervously.

"Do you smell cigarette smoke?" He asked not even saying hello.

"Nope," you said too quick, "maybe one of the neighbours is smoking?"

"They better not be," he said sternly.

He stormed to the balcony and looked around for someone smoking. Your heart sped up when you noticed you left your ashtray on the balcony. That's when he stopped looking for someone and stared at table on the balcony.

"What's this?" He asked holding up the ashtray.

He examines it as you struggle to find an excuse. You couldn't think of one and you could feel a lump in your throat.

"Ethan," you started.

"I said what's this, y/n!" He said now yelling.

"Ethan please don't get mad," you said taking a few steps back.

He stormed inside and threw the ashtray at the wall, smashing it to pieces. The ashes left a big grey mark on the crisp white walls. Ethan cornered you into the wall, demanded an answer.

"Is that yours? Do you fucking smoke?" He asked disgusted.

You started crying, not knowing what to say.

"God, y/n. I didn't think you could be so stupid," he said walking away.

"Ethan, wait! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" You pleaded but he left without turning around.

You slid to the ground crying. You couldn't believe what just happened. You didn't think he would get so mad. You frantically searched for your cigarette pack in the pile of ashes and ceramic on the ground. You pulled a cigarette out and lit it. You instantly felt calmer. You sat on the ground of the balcony, watching the sun set as you worked your way to the last cigarette in your pack. As you were going for another puff, you heard the door to the balcony open slowly. You knew it was Ethan since it was around the time he normally comes home after work but this time you didn't bother putting out your cigarette. He sat down beside you and looked over at you.

"Y/n?" He asked.

You looked over at him. His eyes were bloodshot, he looked like a mess. You didn't say anything. You didn't know what to say. So you just kept smoking.
He shook his head and looked at the sunset.

"Why do you do this?" He asked looking at you again. "How can you do this? You're killing yourself y/n. You know that right?"

You don't answer. You looked down at your hands and examined your cigarette. It was almost done, your fingers were just hitting the orange paper. You took one more puff before putting it out. You looked over at Ethan who was still looking at you.

"How long?" He asked.

"5 years," you said quietly. A little bit of smoke coming out with every word.

He shook his head. His eyes started to water and he put his head in his hands.

"We've only been dating for three years. You've had this addiction this whole time? Why didn't you tell me?" He asked.

You shrugged. You knew why but you didn't want to tell him. It was evident from this afternoon why you didn't tell him.

"Listen, y/n. I'm so sorry for the way I reacted. I obviously didn't handle it well. I just couldn't believe that the woman I love has this addiction that is killing her," he said, his voice cracking on the last sentence.

You started to cry and you leaned into his chest.

"I'm so sorry Ethan," you said quietly.

"Sh, it's okay. I'll help you quit so we can grow old together and raise a family," he said.

"But I've tried to, Ethan. I've tried so many times to quit but it's just so hard. I can't do it Ethan! I know it's killing me but it just helps me so much. It makes me feel like crap but I can't deal with so many things without it. I just can't help it," you said quietly.

You cried harder into Ethan's shoulder. He patted down your hair and kissed the top of your head.

"I'm going to help you," he said, "even if it means I have to take time off work. I'm willing to do whatever I can to be able to help you get through this. I can't live without you, y/n."