Dolan Twins Imagines

Imagine #30: Miscarriage with Grayson

When you and Grayson got married, you decided that kids wouldn't be a huge issue for you. If you got pregnant one day, then you would have a kid. If you never got pregnant, then you wouldn't have kids. You and Grayson had a very neutral opinion on kids.

One day, you realized you were late for your period. That rarely happened. You quickly pulled out a pregnancy test you had in the bathroom cupboard. After a few minutes of waiting for the results, the test came back positive. You did two more tests just to make sure. All three were positive.

When Grayson came home from the gym, you sat him down and pulled out the three tests you took that afternoon. "What are these?" he asked confused.

"What do you think they are?" you asked, wanting him to figure it out on his own. 

He furrowed his eyebrows and stared at the tests for a few seconds. Then his face lit up and he smiled at you. "You're pregnant?" he asked.

You smiled and nodded. He quickly got up from his chair and twirled you around. "I'm going to be a dad!" 

He set you down and you shared a long, passionate kiss. "I love you so fucking much!" he said, cupping your face in his hands.

That night, the two of you went on a walk to talk about your future child. Every person you would pass, Grayson would tell them you're pregnant and that he's going to be a dad. You loved how excited he was. 

"I still can't believe we're going to be parents!" He said with a smile on his face.

"I know! It's crazy, right?"

"Totally insane. I can't believe we didn't do this sooner! I didn't know I wanted kids this bad until you showed me those tests. God, I love you so much."

"I love you too," you said and you guys shared a kiss.

Once you separated, an elderly woman walked by. 

"Hello," she said sweetly.

"Hello kind lady. This is my wife and she's pregnant. I'm going to be a dad!" He said excitedly. 

The lady laughed and smiled big. "Congratulations! Good luck to you both!"

"Thank you! Have a marvellous evening," Grayson said.

"Marvellous?" you laughed.

"I'm just really excited!"

Nine months later, you and Grayson were getting ready for bed. You were standing in front of the mirror, brushing your teeth as Grayson shaved his beard. All of a sudden, your water broke and Grayson stopped shaving mid stroke. "Oh my god. It's time," he said super serious. He quickly ran out of the bathroom and grabbed the baby bag you had prepared. 

"Uh, hello?" You said annoyed.

Grayson rushed back into the bathroom with shaving cream still on his face. "Sorry," he said with a smile. You threw him a towel to wipe the cream off his face.

He helped you downstairs and into the car. Grayson sped down the streets making his to the hospital. You arrived in the delivery room not long after. Grayson had finally calmed down and you were laying in the bed. The nurse checked how dilated you were and you still had a few hours to go before it was time to push. You knew you were going to be nervous but you felt like something was wrong. You looked at Grayson who was going over the birth plan, making sure everything was in order. 

"Grayson?" You called.

He snapped the book shut and looked at you quickly. "Yeah?"

"Something doesn't feel right," you said nervous.

"You're probably just nervous. The nurse said this happens all the time," he said reassuring you.

"No, Grayson, I think something's wrong with the baby. It doesn't feel like it normally does."

"Do you want me to call the nurse?"

You nodded and Grayson rushed out the door. As soon as he left you felt the worst pain you had ever felt. You screamed and Grayson came right back in. "What's wrong?" he panicked.

"GET THE DOCTOR! NOW!" You yelled. 

The pain came again and you screamed louder this time. Grayson looked horrified. "WE NEED A DOCTOR IN HERE NOW! SOMETHING'S WRONG!" Grayson yelled out the door. 

He rushed back to your bed and held your hand. You began sweating uncontrollably and began to feel the urge to push. Three nurses and a doctor came rushing in. "What's wrong?" one of the nurses asked Grayson.

"Uh, I don't know. My wife, she said something felt wrong and then she started screaming," Grayson said in a panic. 

"We're going to have to do an emergency c-section," the doctor said after examining what was happening. 

"Why? What's wrong?" Grayson asked.  

"What's happening?" You asked in a panic.

No one answered yours and Grayson's questions. They began wheeling you out of the room and into surgery. You were immediately put under and weren't able to work out what they were saying to you. All you could see was a blurry vision of Grayson running beside your bed, holding your hand. You made it into the surgery room and Grayson was then pushed out of the room. As the door shut, locking him out, your vision went black. 

You woke to an annoying beeping noise. Your hand instinctively went to your stomach. The bump wasn't there anymore. In a panic you opened your eyes to see you were back in the delivery room. The incubator where your baby should be was empty. In fact, the whole room was empty. You were the only one in there. You heard muffled voices outside and then the door opened. Grayson ran to your side and grabbed your hands.

"Y/n! God, I'm so happy you're okay," he said.

"Where's the baby?" you asked.

"I don't know, they waited for you to wake up to tell us," Grayson said.

As if on cue, the doctor walked in. Grayson stood up and you held your breath.

"Mr. Dolan, please sit down. Mrs. Dolan, how are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm okay. Where's my baby?"

He looked at Grayson and then at you. You grabbed Grayson's hand, expecting the worst. "The umbilical cord was wrapped around your baby's neck. Since you weren't fully dilated yet, it wasn't able to come out, thus causing the emergency c-section. Unfortunately, we were too late. The baby had already passed before we were able to reach it. I'm so sorry."

You felt like the world was crumbling around you. Nine months ago you weren't even sure you wanted a baby. You loved that baby more than anything else in the world and it was taken from you before you could even say hello. You looked at Grayson. He had his head in his hands. 

"Would you like to see your baby?" The doctor asked.

You looked at Grayson and he looked at you. You both nodded. "I'll be right back," he said and left the room.

You took Grayson's hand and he kissed you ever so softly. Not long after, the doctor came in with a tiny baby wrapped in a pink blanket. He handed the baby to you and you admired your baby's face. "It's a girl," you smiled. You and Grayson wanted the gender to be a surprise. 

"A beautiful baby girl," he said smiling at the baby. He had both pain and joy in his eyes.

You admired her little face and hands. You thought of all the things you'll never get to do with her. You'll never see if she got your eyes or your laugh. You'll  never get to hear her talk or cry, you'll never get to see her crawl, walk or run. You won't be able to show her all the things you and Grayson had prepared for her or bring her shopping for new things. You won't be able to change her diaper or feed her. You won't be able to teach her how to ride a bike, or how to spell her name. You kept listing all the things she missed out on, that you and Grayson missed out on. 

You looked over at Grayson who was holding her tiny, lifeless hand. He looked at you and gave you a painful smile. After many minutes of just staring at your daughter, you and Grayson handed her back to the doctor, and watched as you looked at your daughter for the very last time.