Dolan Twins Imagines

Imagine #26: Self Harm- Grayson

*trigger warning- sensitive content*

You gave up self harm a year ago. You and Grayson started dating around that same time. He was the one that actually inspired you to stop. He didn't know about your self harm but he made you so happy and you had such a positive view on everything that you gave up you cutting. 

It was now summer and it was getting harder to hide your scars. They were along your wrists. You didn't have many but they were very visible when exposed. You don't know how you managed to hide them from Grayson for a whole year but you did. Today you were going to the beach with Grayson and you didn't know what to do. You obviously had to wear a bathing suit. You decided to wear a bathing suit with a long sleeve lace cover-up on top. You weren't planning on taking the cover-up off. That way, you can go up to your knees in the water but you don't have to exposed your arms. 

"Hey gorgeous," Grayson said as you walked up his driveway. 

"Hey!" you said. 

"I'm just about done packing. You can get in the front seat if you'd like," Grayson said whilst lifting two lawn chairs into the trunk of the car.

You waited for Grayson in the passenger seat. You fiddled with your sleeve, making sure your scars were covered. 

"Alright, let's go!" Grayson said getting into the driver's seat and turning the key.

You guys drove to the beach, listening to the radio, and singing along to the songs. Neither of you could sing well but that made it better. All of a sudden, a slow, love song turned on and Grayson took your hand. 

"Don't sing along, baby. This song is dedicated to you," Grayson said jokingly.

You laughed as Grayson sang poorly along to the song. He kept lifting your locked hands up in the air and kissing your knuckles. Every time he did so, your sleeve would fall down, exposing your scars. Your heart would beat like crazy but Grayson never noticed because he's a good driver and he was focusing on the road, not your wrist. You arrived at the beach just as Grayson finished serenading you. 

"That was beautiful," you said laughing.

"I know," he said with a smirk. 

You guys got out of the car and you helped Grayson unpack. You guys set up your stuff and Grayson immediately ran to the water with the football. You nervously stood with your stuff, not wanting to get near the water. 

"What are you waiting for? Come on!" You heard Grayson yell from the water. He motioned you to come down and you decided to walk down, still wearing your cover-up.

"Why are you still wearing that thing?" Grayson asked with a smirk.

"I burn easily. This covers my shoulders," you lied.

"Uh huh, okay," Grayson said not believing you, "but don't you want to play some football?"

"Yeah I do! But I can play football with my cover-up on," you said. Grayson threw the ball at you and you caught it.

"Wow, nice catch," he said impressed.

"It was a lame throw," you said teasing.

"Oh you are so going down!" He said. 

He started running towards you and you ran away with the ball. Unfortunately, he caught up to you and wrapped his arms around your waist, swinging you around. You screamed with laughter as he kissed your neck. He turned you around and kissed you, passionately. All of a sudden, you were being thrown into the water. When you got up, Grayson was laughing at you. You started laughing along until Grayson stopped and his expression became very serious. He walked towards you and took your hand. You looked down and saw that your cover-up sleeve had moved upwards when you fell, exposing your scars.

"What are these?" he asked concerned.

"They're from a long time ago I d-" you started.

"I asked what are these. Do you cut yourself? Are these self-harm scars?" He asked, his voice raising.

You were scared. He sounded mad and you didn't know what to do.

"I stopped a long time ago, when we started dating. I don't do it anymore, trust me!" you pleaded as he started walking away.

"Trust you? How am I supposed to trust you've been hiding this from me this whole time? This is serious, y/n. This isn't something I can just take lightly. I mean, I have to report this to your parents."

"They already know," you said quietly. "I'm sorry I never told you, Grayson. I just- I didn't know how to tell you. Like you said, it's not something to take lightly. I'm not good at talking about my feelings and I didn't know how you would react so I kept it a secret. I didn't want you to get worried because I don't do it anymore but from the looks of it, it seems like you aren't worried about me."

Grayson ran his hands through his hair and looked at you with tears in his eyes. "Of course I'm worried, y/n. I'm sorry I acted that way, it's just- y/n, this is so serious. I didn't know what to say," he took your wrists and traced the scars. "Why did you do this?"

"I was going through a really hard time. But I stopped as soon as we started dating. I was in a really dark place and you were the light I needed in my life," you said. 

"And you don't do it anymore?" he asked, concerned.

"No, it's been a year since I've done it," you said.

"Good," he said with a faint smile. He took your hands and looked deep into your eyes. "Promise me you won't ever start again? And if you ever feel the urge to cut or harm yourself again, to come to me and I'll help you through it? I can't live knowing that the love of my life is going through something so horrible that she feels the need to harm herself. Can you promise me that?"

You nodded. Grayson hugged you tight and kissed your neck. "I love you so much. Please don't ever leave me," he whispered into your ear. 

"I won't," you said.