Art Girls (Lesbian Story)

Chapter 44

"Katie I have - I have to tell you something"
Reagan spoke to me in a low tone as if she dreaded saying anything.

We were watching the sunset on the beach like we had many nights before. It was peaceful, no baby crying, no nothing, just us.

"Yeah"
I turned to look at her, she held my hand tighter in hers and looked down at it.

"Toby and I have been talking, and we are going on a book tour together, around the country"
She finally spoke.

"When?"

"In a week"

"Why- why haven't you said anything"
I looked away from her.

"I mean, we are suppose to tell each other important things like that"
I felt hurt.

"Katie- I didn't - I didn't know how to say it"

"How long?"
I felt a lump in my throat, my stomach tightened and honestly all those nights of me getting used to her next too me felt like it was all building me up for the downfall.

"Three months"
She whispered.

I felt her grip on my hand tighten when I didn't say anything.

"Can you just say something to me"

"What do I need to say Reagan, I mean that's your career, how can I take that away from you?"
I looked at her, with pain in my eyes.

She stared back at me, her golden eyes searching for words to say, and she couldn't say or find anything either.

"But I'll be here when you get back, living my life, painting, doing things as I did"

"You're the love of my life Katie, I've never ever felt like this towards anyone else, it was scary at first, i couldn't catch my breath, but I caught it and I reached out and grabbed you and held on, and I'm going to keep holding on while this world still spins, I love you, I will always love you"

"You're brave"
I smiled.

She looked at me.
"I'm not brave, I don't want to be brave, I just want to be with you, be real with you, but I want to grow and find myself"

"I want to do this for me"
She whispered.

"Then go and do it"
I stared off at the sun that was fading away.

"I will,- - I will"
She nodded at herself.

I stared down at our hands, thinking of all the things about her. That very first time I seen her.

"You look lost"
I whispered.

"What?"
She looked at me, confused.

"That's the very first thing you said too me, almost a year ago."
I smiled, this time looking out at the water, the Stars were just beginning to come out.

"I remember"

"I do too"
I smiled.

That night I laid in bed, the short moment with her was going to tear me in half for the eternity she was going to spend away from me. Her sleeping body laid next to me, the moonlight shining down on her skin delicately as if it was keeping her safe to sleep. I could hear credence crying from down the hall and I could only imagine Cameron grumpily stumbling from bed and feeding the newborn, the first time I fed him he hungrily sucked on the bottle, he acted just like Cameron did when she missed a meal, the first time she got the chance to eat, she ate.

I glanced over at Reagan who groaned in her sleep and tossed over on her side, her back was now too me and it only made me realize that on the nights we would argue we wouldn't hold each other, and we would be guaranteed sleepless nights.