I lay in bed on my single mattress under a deep blue blanket, my cell phone lying with me. I couldn’t lose my thoughts for several different things. My thoughts shot from one another, like it were a car on a racetrack. I thought about Alexander, raping me. How it had affected my life. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs in frustration. I thought about Liz, how she had believed the rumors, that had spread through town and all of school. I thought about what the Johnsons might think about me now. If they had changed their opinion of me or not. I thought about Jason’s words, of how he felt for me. The truth was I felt the same way. But it had been only three days since we had met, and only two since we started going out. I always dreamed about the first time I said I love you; it was going to be perfectly said and not misused. I’m afraid that if I said it now, in a few days, I would regret it. I thought about my parents who were currently out of the house. It felt nice having the house to myself.For the longest time, I laid there, fighting with myself about what to do. Whether I should tell Jason how I felt, or let time tell. I fought about whether I actually loved him or not. I thought about our first meeting and how we talked for hours about everything we shared interests in. I thought about everything I want to know about him. What if he secretly had a drug problem? Would I still share the feelings I have for him now. I came to the conclusion that no matter what, unless he was a murder or secretly a 40 year old woman in a young man’s body, I would continue to share the feelings I have for him now.
I decided it was time to distract myself from my thoughts. I grabbed my cell phone from next to my head on the right and dialed up Jason’s number that I had gotten from recent calls. I could hear the phone continue to ring. After what seemed like a few minutes, I heard a scrunched tired voice pick up, “Hello?” I paused for a second, trying to see if it was his voice. “Hello?” He asked into the phone again, more clearly and less tired and scrunched. “Jason, it’s me. Alex.” I could hear the life punch him like a brick covered by a sock, making it so there was no bruise left. “Hey Sweetheart,” He replied. “What’s up? It’s like, one in the morning!” He exclaimed, but didn’t complain. “So, that’s what time it is…” I whispered to myself, not focusing on the fact that he could hear me. “What?” He asked. “Oh, nothing. Sorry. Um, if you want to go, I can just talk to you tomorrow…” I told him, half chickening out to tell him how I feel. “No, it’s fine. I’m glad you called,” He admitted. “I couldn’t sleep.” I giggled quietly to myself. “Neither could I. I’m really sorry that I just left you standing there after you admitted to me how you felt. I just wasn’t prepared. I mean, it’s been three days. So yeah…” I told him. “Yeah, I’m sorry too. It was something big, and it has only been three days.” I sighed softly, wanting to tell him now. “So, what are you up to?” I asked, changing the subject. “Nothing really, just lying in bed talking to the most beautiful woman out there.” I grinned happily. It was cheesy but it was sweet. “Wow, sounds like fun,” I remarked sarcastically. “Well, I’m having a certainly good time. I wish you were here with me,” He said softly. “I could be there in ten minutes, if you want…” I said jokingly. It worked, because he laughed.
“What’s your favorite movie?” I asked him, getting comfortable. Thankfully, I had unlimited minutes thanks to Delilah. “Hm. That’s a good question. Probably Transformers, or National Treasure,” He inquired. “Yours?” I thought about it for a second. “Definitely Sweeney Todd,” I answered. “Okay, favorite book?” He asked me. “The Lovely Bones. For sure, but it ties with Vampire Kisses,” I said smiling. “Mm. Both very good books. My favorite would have to be The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Every time I re-read it, I laugh.” I burst into giggles. “That’s such an epic book,” I smiled. “Favorite food?” I asked softly. “Spaghetti, for sure,” He answered immediately. “Ha. Them I’m definitely going to have to cook you my Spaghetti plate. I love Spaghetti as well. It’s amazing,” I shared my opinion. “What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re bored and have nothing else better to do?” He asked. I sighed sad fully, “My favorite thing to do when I’m bored, is hang out with Liz, Delilah or and Freddy,” I answered truthfully. “The second thing I like to do is go to my secret hideout and either write, sing, dance to music in my head, or act out Shakespeare.” I giggled to myself about the last time I did so. I had failed epically and fell during a spin. “What about you?” I asked. I heard Jason laugh at my answer. “It sounds amazing. I’d love to act out something with you one day,” He smirked. “I guess my favorite thing to do on a boring day would have to be play video games or cook,” He said. “I love cooking, and cooking up random plates of food, even if they end up tasting horribly, is just plain awesome and fun.”
“What is one thing nobody knows about you, except from your past?” I asked. He paused and deeply sighed. “I have a drug problem. Or, I did. I use to try every known drug possible. I have been clean for about 6 years now. I stopped when I was eleven, because I had a close encounter with death. So I stopped using and have been clean ever since. That’s why I freaked out about your rumor. I was scared that I would be getting into something that I shouldn’t be, especially with how I feel about you. I wouldn’t have been able to just turn around and look away. I would’ve either fell in a pit of it again and used with you, or I would have gotten you help. I probably would’ve ended up with option two,” He admitted. I paused. He did have a drug problem and I unknowingly guessed it. He had been clean for years now and I thankfully guessed it. I smiled. This was it. I was going to tell him. “Jason, I need to tell you something,” I took a deep breath. “Yes Alex?” He said. “I love you,” I replied. I waited anxiously for a reply. Instead we sat there in silence. Finally, I heard him clear his throat. “I love you, too.” I got the biggest grin I had ever smiled. I didn’t know what else to say, but I knew I’d be able to go to sleep. In that moment, I knew I had to corner Liz, and I was going to tell her everything, even if it took me hours. It would be left up to her, whether or not she believed me. “Sweet Dreams, Hun,” I heard him say. “You too. Good night,” I told him. “Good night.” I hung up my cell phone, staring at the dark ceiling. I focused on his face and his voice from when he said I love you too. My heart exploded with happiness. I had the person I wanted most by my side. He believed everything I told him, which weren’t lies.
Though I had finally admitted how I felt to him and we had been able to talk over the phone before bed, I still couldn’t manage to fall asleep. At this point, I didn’t know what it was. My thoughts were no longer racing. But then I began thinking about Alexander. What caused him to rape me? Why did he do it? What if he was caught? Would he ever be caught? I continued to wonder about the things I would never find out.
Suddenly, I heard a cracking sound, as if it were my door opening. As I turned my head, I saw a black figure standing there. I thought it was my dad, so I told him, “I’m trying to sleep. What do you want?” He stood there, saying nothing. Suddenly, he took a left and darted. I jumped up out of my bed and ran to the living room; there stood a black figure in the light staring at me. It was in the form of a human, but it was completely jet black. “Huh?” I said confusedly. Suddenly, it darted straight through me. I quickly turned around, and it was gone. All I was staring at was a white wall. I excitedly smiled. “Oh my god!” I jumped up and down with excitement. I had seen my first ghost or whatever it was. I knew I had to tell Liz, after I told her everything else. I knew she’d be excited with me. I’d just have to make sure that this information stayed private. I knew I was definitely not going to get any sleep tonight. I’d be too excited and happy. I wondered what was going to happen tomorrow and the next day as I walked slowly back to my bedroom and lonely mattress.
