Crossing Lines

TWENTY-FOUR | Easy Suspect

"You should go." Jonathan Hale told his partner as he grabbed his jacket and the rest of his belongings. He himself He had four kids. Three growing bigger and crazier each day and one in the oven. Jon couldn't wait to get home to his wife and band of little misfits. "And when I say you should go I don't mean a bar. Mike go see your daughter."

Mikael Hanson frowned scratching the now outgrown facial hair on his chin. "It's late." Mikael provided for his daughter he loved her more than anything it's just now seeing her was hard. "You being distant from her doesn't only hurt you, it's hurting Zoe."

"How can I look at her and not see her mother?" Mikael's daughter was only a year old but he could already see it Zoe Kalee Hanson was the spitting image of her beautiful mother and it pained Mikael to even look at her now. The struggle between feeling love and feeling resentment every time he held her had become too much for him. "Especially after what I did. My mother is doing fine with her. Zoe doesn't need me."

Jon shook his head. This guilt trip Mikael was on has to end. "You didn't do anything. What happened isn't your fault!"

It didn't matter how many times Mike heard those words it didn't erase the memory of him returning home one late night hearing his four-month-old baby girl screaming in the crib and the sight of his wife dead in their overflowed bathtub that she chose to soak in as she overdosed on his painkillers.

"I knew something was wrong with her and I chose to ignore it. Now Zoe is without her mother." Tamara killed herself but Mikael will forever feel like her death was on his hands.

Tamara Hanson suffered Postpartum Depression. When they left the hospital she was irritable, she'd cry for no reason at all, She'd refuse to be seen by friends and family. He'd practically have to beg her feed the baby or even hold her. Mike didn't get it because Zoe was the most beautiful little thing he ever held in his arms how could anybody not love her? Especially her own mother. Tamara would complain about these headaches and chest pains every time he'd even mention the issue to her. His mother was the first to mention Postpartum. The anxiety, mood swings Tamara's lack of sleep. Those were signs that his mother warned him to take seriously but Mike waved it off. He didn't believe in shit like that. Tamara was a strong black woman, she didn't need a shrink psychoanalyzing her. Strong black women did not suffer from shit like that...or so he thought. Mikael will never forgive himself for allowing his ignorance to cost his daughter her mother.

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One night after their baby sitter left Zoe began to cry it was time for her last bottle and usually Mikael would be home by then but that night he was running a little late. Zoe's cries sounded off like horns going off in Tamara's' ears. She just wanted it to stop, she wanted all of it to stop. It hurt, it hurt so bad and that's when she remembered Mike had painkillers left over from his shoulder injury and she figured that would do the trick so she took two. Tamara ran the bath water and turned on some music and even that didn't drown out the sounds of that damn baby crying. The throbbing in her head continued so Tamara took two more finding comfort in how relaxed the pills made her she wanted more of that feeling so she took more. Pill after pill she popped them into her mouth and chased them down with some red wine until finally everything...stopped.

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Shaking his head of the memory of what very well could have been the worse day of his life he focused back on the crime scene photo's in front of him. "We need to check out this Vanessa person? The victim made numerous phone calls to that number before her death."

"That we will do first thing in the morning. Go see your daughter." Jon told him again.

"Alright." Mike nodded his head. "Just need a few more minutes." A few minutes turned into hours and before Mikael Hanson knew it he had fallen asleep at his desk. Crazy how burying himself in his work or even a bottle was easier than taking a fifteen-minute drive and seeing his child.