When I found the letters in my locker at school, I was confused. When I read them, this is what they said:
7/12
Dear Stan,
I'm not sure why I'm writing to you, but I am. I know you'll probably never get these letters, but I'm okay with that. Hope your life is good.
7/28
Dear Stan,
I'm writing again. I suppose I do know why I decided to write to you. It's weird to think about, but I think I like you as more than a friend... I know you don't like me like that. So, it's fine if we continue just being friends. Friends.
8/19
Dear Stan,
Again, I feel like you don't know. I try to make it obvious. I really do. I try to do things that make it seem like I like you. It's okay. You'll notice eventually. Right?
8/21
Dear Stan,
I'm happy when you're happy. I always will be. You got back together with Wendy today. You were so excited and happy. The happiest I think I've ever seen you. That's nice. I'm glad you feel happy. I'm also glad you decided that I was the first person you told. When you told me part of my heart broke, but you were so happy. So I smiled and told you that it was awesome. Awesome.
8/24
Dear Stan,
I know you don't know now. How dense could you be? If you're wondering, today's the day I saw you kissing Wendy. No, that's not right. Today's the day you let Wendy sit in my spot at our table, then you two kissed. I went to the bathroom, I didn't want to deal with it. I sat in the bathroom for a while. No one came to look for me. No one wondered where the stupid Jew went. It's okay though, I forgive you. I'll forget it happened in no time.
8/27
Dear Stan,
You're happy. I'm happy. You smile. I smile. You love her. I love you.
We won't be together. We can't. One of us is a fool and the other is crazy.
But in honesty, what am I, but both?
One-sided love, there can't be another player in the game.
For I'll roll the dice, but move all the pieces.
I'm a mess.
9/3
Dear Stan,
I haven't sat at our table in a while. Still no one notices. It's strictly depressing, but hey, friends, remember? As long as we're friends. As long as you have me in your life. Even as just a friend. I haven't talked to you much. You seem even happier than before, though. Do you miss me? Even a little? I know I might be right next to you, but I feel miles away from you. As long as you smile so brightly.
9/4
Dear Stan,
Today, Wendy wasn't at school. I felt elated, then I saw you. You looked so sad. You didn't even look at me when I said hey. Not even a flinch. No reply. That counts as a conversation, right? I think I might be in love with you. Everyday, my heart breaks a little. Everyday, my soul darkens a little. I'm sorry I can't help you today, Stan. To make you as happy as she does.
9/15
Dear Stan,
I was your best friend until today. I know you don't care, but I decided to get some guts and see if we could hang out. Based on the look you gave me when I asked, I knew you'd say no. You turned and asked me, "do you think I'd hang out with you instead of Wendy?" I stared at you, no response. "What are you gay?" With that you walked away. I'm no good at hiding my emotions, Stan. I only realized when I came back to my senses that I was crying. I love you.
9/29
Dear Stan,
I have a problem. I told my parents. I told them I was gay. What did they do? They kicked me out. Told me to never come back. So, I packed up and left. I went to your house. Remember when I knocked on the door? Remember when you answered? When you said, "And what could you want? I'm busy." I asked you if I could hang out for awhile. Then you said no and closed the door. If you're wondering, I didn't find a place to sleep. At least, we're friends. Right? We're still friends. Yeah.
9/30
Dear Stan,
I have a plan. I'm going to tell you I love you.
10/3
Stan,
I've never seen you so disgusted. Ever. You were so disgusted when I said I loved you though. When I said I always had. Then you looked angry. You screamed, "We were friends. You're not supposed to fall for a friend. It's wrong to be gay. I hope you have fun in hell." Slam. I'm glad you thought we were friends too. You said were though, so I guess we're not anymore? Yeah, no. I'm sorry I ruin everything for you. I really don't try to.
Then, there was the finally letter, today.
10/4
My love Stan,
I'm sorry. I sorry. I'm so sorry. I kissed you today. I don't know why it happened. You punched me. I have a black eye. At least you actually wasted your time to give it to me. Thanks.
I know you're not going to be upset when you hear that I committed suicide. Sorry. I know I'm a fuck up. And a coward. I'm so sorry. For everything.
-Kyle Broflovski
When I read that I wasn't sure what to think. I need to find Kyle. I looked at the clock: 7:02.
I ran from my locker to his house. I knocked on the door, "What?" Ike answers, "is Kyle here?" "No."
They kicked me out...
Shit.
I ran around until I got to Starks pond. I saw him on a bench.
"Kyle!" I shouted running towards him. When I got there, I saw his eyes were closed and he had a bottle of pills. The bottle was completely empty. I called 911. When the ambulance arrived I got in the back of the ambulance with the paramedics.
I waited at the hospital for almost 3 hours. When the doctors finally came out, they told me he'd died.
