Nowhere

Chapter 44

Video works^^^
Chapter song: Is There Somewhere by Halsey
(Val's pov)
-1pm-
My stomach hurts so fucking bad. Periods are the absolute worst. Ugh.
I get so emotional and grumpy. It's not even funny. I want to murder people. That how bad it is.
"Are you hungry baby?"
Justin sure knows a lot about periods. He knows exactly what to do, and I bet it's because he's had to deal with many other girls on their periods.
"Yea."
But I don't mind it. I kind of like how he's being understanding with me. His sweet side is amazing.
"I can call in anything you want."
He warmly smiles and rubs my shoulder comfortingly.
"Mozzarella sticks?"
It's a craving, so of course I ask for it.
"Ok."
Justin types something on his phone before setting it down and pulling me into his embrace.
"I feel like shit."
I mumble in his white, cotton shirt while my arms wrap around his warm body.
"You feel like shit? I can't fuck you tonight."
I saw that one coming.
"Oh, shut up babe."
Playfully, I slap his arm.
"I'm joking. As long as you don't get me turned on, I'll be fine."
I know he's joking, but I can't help to suspect it's not all a joke. After all, I'm nothing but sex to him in the first place.
Sex. That's our love in a nutshell.
"I think we should stay here for the day."
Justin smoothly changes the topic and squeezes my hand.
"That sounds good."
Nodding, I agree with my cheek against his toned chest.
"Your order, Mr. Bieber."
The maid knocks on the door, and he gets up to answer it.
"Thank you, love."
He hands her a $50 tip and takes the tray from her hands. How sweet.
"Let's eat over here."
Pointing to the table, Justin tells me. I guess he doesn't trust us not to get crumbs anywhere.
"Ok."
I sit at the table with him. He uncovers the mozzarella sticks and slides a plate over to me.
"Justin?"
I ask in between a bite.
"Hm?"
His eyes are filled with something that I can't read. To be honest, I don't think I want to know.
"How long have you had OCD?"
At first, I thought his OCD wasn't that serious, but after the other night, I wonder if he's seen a doctor about it.
"About seven years. How's the food?"
Justin quickly changes the topic only for me to give him a troubled look.
"Why do you change the subject all the time?"
I ask before taking another bite. I'm not an idiot. I know there's more to his story.
"I don't change the topic."
Objecting to my statement, he takes a bite as well so he doesn't have to speak. I give him a knowing stare, his eyes sparkle with uneasiness and defeat.
"I'm not comfortable with talking about it, ok? I hate it."
Finally, he spills the truth to me. I wonder if he's told anyone else. Who knows. I can understand why he hates it, but the question is has he tried to get rid of it? I'll save it for later, because he obviously doesn't want to discuss this.
"Sorry."
I lower my eyes and chew slowly. I'm trying to respect his privacy.
"No, it's ok babe. Are you feeling ok?"
Our legs touch each other, deliberately. How many times has he asked that?
"Yea, I'm just...not in the mood to do anything."
I straighten my posture, moving away from him. Right now, I don't want any form of physical contact. It's a personal, hormone problem.
"My bad. Hey, do you wanna check out my backyard?"
He changes the subject once again.
"Ok."
My smile widens and I stand up, his shirt falling to my mid-thighs. He leaves another tip for the maids when they come to clean up; then he puts his arm around me and leads me downstairs. I guess this is tolerable, but I'd appreciate if he could keep his hands to himself.
"Hey guys."
Ryan friendly waves to us, and I wave back with a nice smile. Justin lowers my arm and opens the door for me. He's jealous.
"You are so jealous, babe."
Smiling, I move his hands off me.
"No, I just don't trust them with you."
His words are reasonable. I mean, his friends did fuck around with his former sex partners. I guess he thinks they'll fuck around with me. I could care less.
"You have a nice pool."
I notice a large pool in the center of his yard. It's shaped into a rectangle and has a tall waterfall at the end of it.
"We can swim in it after you feel better."
Justin passes the pool, and I admire the perfectly trimmed grass. He pulls me to a tall gate, which is securely locked. He unlocks it and I follow him through it. Here, I see a huge field with tall trees surrounding it. It's too perfect to acknowledge, so I could be dreaming. But I highly doubt it.
"C'mon, let's sit down."
Justin gingerly tugs on my arm as he sits on the grass below us. I take a seat beside him and put my hair in a carefree bun.
"Can you explain the hair?"
Justin eyes my lavender locks, bundled up into a messy bun.
"What? I just dyed it."
It was draining out of color, so I re-dyed it yesterday.
"No. I mean, what made you dye it lavender in the first place?"
He gives me a quizzical smile, dimples materializing.
"Oh, I don't know. I got bored and...I don't know. It's stupid."
There's no way to explain why I do what I do. I just like the color. I want to be remembered. I guess if having an exotic hair color will make me stand out, then why not?
"It's beautiful."
His fingers stroke under my chin and lift it up for me to face him. I blush a little, expressing my shyness.
"Justin?"
I keep my eyes locked on him, watching his coveting  eyes on my lips.
"Yea?"
His chocolate, caramelized eyes shift to mine. It makes my heart skip a beat, or two.
"Are we, like, in a relationship?"
I'm scared. I don't want to be in love with him. It hurts, because I can't be his true love. Why is that? Because he's a player. He wants nothing but sex.
"Yea. Why?"
I wonder if Justin's scared too.
"And that means...we have to stick with each other? We can't be with other people?"
This is so complicated. I don't know what I'm trying to say. Justin breaks the stare to look out at the open field. It looks like he's contemplating on my poorly-explained words.
"Do you think I'm cheating on you?"
He narrows his eyes to his hands, which are on his lap.
"No no. I'm just...I don't want to...I've never been in love before and-"
"You don't want to get hurt."
The words come out perfectly. That's exactly what I'm trying to say.
"Yea."
Realizing my voice sounds frail, I clear my throat.
"Valerie...I don't want to hurt you, at all. I love you."
Justin murmurs softly, still looking at his hands. I feel like there's more he has to say.
"I love you too."
I do love him, but I don't know how. It's so frustrating. Justin has more to say. I know it. He doesn't want to hurt me. Well, he's done it multiple times already. He's doing it right now, right this second. Can he see what he's doing to me?
"Let's talk about something else. What's something that you've always wanted to do?"
Of course, he changes the subject, like every time.
"Uhm, I really want to—don't laugh—be apart of a drag race."
It's weird, but it looks like so much fun. Basically, anything illegal is fun to me.
"Really? Those are so much fun. I can take you to one if you'd like."
Justin touches my hand, and I feel like screaming. He doesn't love me. Why should I love him? He's gonna leave me.
"Sure."
I give him a fake smile, hiding the need to run away.

(A/N: TAKE NOTE I will not be posting until Friday bc I have midterms and I need to focus on my grades. Btw I'm working on a trailer for this☺️)

🗞 Vote 🗞