Nowhere

Chapter 50

Chapter song: Bed of Lies by Nicki Minaj feat. Skylar Grey
(Justin's pov)
-1pm-
Valerie left this morning. She saw me and Yovanna in the bedroom. What made me think that fucking Yovanna was even close to ok? What the hell is wrong with me? Valerie was everything I needed, my second chance. She was my only opportunity to change myself for the better, and I blew it.
Chantel and Jayde were also in my house. I figured out that they wanted my money. That's what all this nonsense was all about. Money. It's all fucked up.
Now I'm left with nobody. As much as I want to call up a girl, I can't pick up my phone. I feel so empty and I just want Valerie. I've tried a thousand times to call her, but she left her phone here. I can try looking for her. I mean, she's not that hard to find, considering her lavender hair. However, I don't think she wants anything to do with me.
"Sorry man. We tried to distract her."
Ryan walks into the kitchen, looking guilty.
"It's fine. I kinda deserved it."
If I had just stayed with Val, she'd still be here. But I fucked it all up. I cheated on her.
"She's gonna come back. Don't stress it bro."
Ryan fills a cup with water and sips from it.
"She hates me."
I mutter in doubt of her even stepping in the same room as me.
"Think about it. She has no money, no food, no place to go. She's gonna come back."
Ryan's got a point. Without me, Val can't survive on her own. She won't last a day out there. She needs me. I bet she'll be back by tonight, maybe sooner.
(Val's pov)
I'm lost, mentally and physically. I don't know where I am. I don't know what to do. This morning was the worst, and I think my heart is broken. If this is what it truly feels like, then I regret even falling in love. This is why I never bothered with love. Assholes like Justin think it's perfectly fine to fuck every little cunt out there. It's not his problem. He's not the one who got cheated on. I, however, am internally shattered and lost.
Here I am, barefoot in Justin's stupid t-shirt. I don't have a bra on, I basically just woke up, my back hurts. I'm so unprepared. I don't know where to go. I'm trying to think of anything. Think. What should I do when I'm back at rock bottom?
As I walk through the city, I spot something that makes me feel at-home, a strip club. It's not the same one in Las Vegas, but it doesn't matter. It's home to me. Of course, this is the answer.
When I walk in, the familiar scent of liquor and tobacco engulfs me. The lights are dimmer, and the walls shake from the music. It's pretty crowded for 1pm, but this is L.A.
"Can I help you?"
A tall girl with a red top walks up to me. Her hair is blonde, and I notice she's a stripper. Her eyes tell me that we have the same story. We're both are going nowhere. Who knows, maybe we both got dumped by the same guy.
"Uhm, I need a job."
I'm not well dressed for a job, but it's not my fault.
"A job? How old are you?"
The girl leads me to the back, so I think I'm in.
"Nineteen."
There's so much more to do in this town rather than strip for horny guys, but it's all I know.
"You're in. You can change into anything you'd like. Do you want me to go over the rules for you?"
The girl asks in a friendly tone.
"No, I've don't this before."
For the first time in ages, I feel like I belong here. I feel free.
"Oh, well, I'm Ashley by the way. You are..."
Ashley extends her tattooed arm, and I notice a snake along her forearm.
"Val. Nice to meet you."
Smiling nicely, I shake her hand; then she walks away into the blasting music.
This is a new start in a new city. No prostution this time. All I have to do is dance and strip. I'll be fine without Justin.
"He can go to hell for all I care."
I mutter to myself before going through the boxes of bras and panties, all the inappropriate stripper outfits. Finally, I find something decent, a pink top with black bottoms. I even find some heels to wear. For now on, I'm not gonna be used for sex. I'm a stripper, take it or leave it.
When I walk out, I find pleasure in the vibrating music and cheers of guys willing to throw their money to half-naked girls.
"Baby come here."
There's a guy, about my age, calling me over. Why not? I strut over to him, feeling a weird amount of confidence in myself. Maybe I'm over exaggerating the feeling of home, because I can't truly want to be back where I started. Can I?
"$50?"
His smirk tells me that I'm in charge, and it feels so good. It'd feel even better if I wasn't so broken.
"Anything for you."
Flirting a bit, I sit on his lap and start grinding over him. As much as I want to shove it in Justin's face that I don't need him, I know I can't do it. My heart hurts too much to even think about him. He makes me so angry, so hurt, so foolish. I wish I never fell in love with him, because it breaks me down.
"You ok?"
The guy questions me, and I snap out of my thoughts.
"I'm good."
But I'm really not. Everything reminds me of Justin, the way this guy is holding me, the smirk on his face. I wish I could make myself blind, so nothing can remind me of the jackass that broke my heart.
"What's your name, baby?"
The guy caresses my waist, making me think of Justin. No. I don't want anything to do with him.
"Uhm, I've gotta go."
Impatiently, I wait for him to pay me, and when he does, I run backstage.
I take it back. I take it all back. I need him. I need Justin. But I can't go back. He's no good. Justin broke me down to pieces, and I can't pick myself up. He tricked me into loving him; then he destroyed me. I won't go back.
Now, I have to rebuild myself, but it won't be the same. Nothing will be the same. I will never love again. If anyone tries to love me, I'll shut myself down. I will die unloved. I will die unable to love.

(A/N: Do you guys have any other suggestions for a Deadly in Love episode? It could be anything. Comment or DM me. Either one is find. Next post is on Monday)

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