Based on the song "Her Last Words" by Courtney Parker.
Dedicated to my close friend @alison-fire. I love you, sister of my heart.
Warning: This one-shot is dark and contains multiple triggers. I apologize beforehand if this puts anyone in the same dark place it put me, but I'm willing to talk if anyone wishes to. In fact, I encourage it. If you find yourself going through a dark time, talk to me. Please. I've been there. Our situations may be different, but I can assure you that I will help you as much as possible.
Love you all, my darlings.
Just an average girl. She always wore a smile. She was cheerful and happy for a short while.
Mitch Grassi grew up in a rather loving environment. It certainly wasn't anything to brag about. His parents worked long hours and were barely seen. Mitch understood that they were barely scraping by with the mortgage of their house, and the bills weren't going to pay themselves. They never attended any of his school choir concerts or theater events. When he moved from the elementary school to the middle school, Mitch watched as parents of the other children dropped them off and wished the well. Mitch was alone. Being an only child assured this status, and the house was always painfully quiet when he arrived home from school. Though, he became accustomed to the isolation. He didn't mind being by himself, honestly, and in his later years, he would cherish it. No attention was better than the negativity he received.
Now she's older, things are getting colder. Life's not what she though, she wishes someone had told her.
Mitch supposed that the bully started in seventh or eighth grade. That was when puberty began to his both males and females alike. This meant that the other males in his grade level were speaking with voices much lower in octave than his own. He retained the higher, more feminine voice he had as a child. He was always praised for it, but now, he found himself to be the topic of ridicule. No longer was he Mitch, The Boy With An Angelic Voice. He was Mitch, The Boy Who Sounds Like A Girl.
She told you she was down, you let it slip by. So from then on she kept it on the inside. She told herself she was alright, but she was telling white lies.
He tried to talk to his parents about the bullying, but they never listened. They were aware that Mitch wasn't happy at school, but they blamed it on the belief that most teenage boys resented school with a passion.
Luckily, a few of the kids at school weren't that mean. Some were actually pretty decent, and Mitch soon found himself talking to two of those who weren't so bad. Kirstin Maldonado and Scott Hoying were polite, respectful individuals who could take Mitch's mind off of things, if just for a little while. They almost managed to convince him that he was normal, and that the hurtful comments were nothing more than words. But words were so much more. Mitch knew that.
Can't you tell? Look at her dull eyes. Tried to stop herself from crying almost every night. But she knew there was no chance of feeling alright.
Things weren't going to get better. As high school came, Mitch discovered he enjoyed the company of men over women. That was not to say he didn't like hanging out with Kirstie, but he found his eyes drifting to Scott more. He would wonder how it would feel like to be wrapped in his arms and kissed by his lips.
Sadly, the words became more hurtful when he came out. He was expecting it, but not quite to the actual extent. They slashed at his heart, cut through his soul, and wounded his very being. Mitch's self-esteem was already battered by the criticism from his past. The additional hate only succeeded in breaking it.
Summer came by; all she wore was long sleeves, 'cause those cuts on her wrists were bleeding through you see. She knew she was depressed; didn't want to admit it. Didn't think she fit it; everyone seemed to miss it.
Mitch began cutting at sixteen. It became a relief, a way of momentarily escaping the cruel reality he was unwillingly thrust into. His parents didn't notice, and he made sure to hide them from Kirstin and Scott. The summer came and went, and he relished in being able to hide away from those who treated him so unforgivably.
The peace didn't stop the internal monsters, though.
She carried on like a soldier with a battle wound, bleeding out from every cut her body consumed. She had no friends at school, all alone she sat, and if someone were to notice she would blame the cat. But those cuts on her wrist, they were no mistake; but no one cared enough to save her from this self-hate.
Scott and Kirstin did end up noticing, no matter how hard he tried to hide them. Mitch figured that when he started wearing more feminine clothes, they began to think something was up. But he played the questions off. The cuts weren't important. Anyway, why would they care?
As if to answer him, they didn't. The two people he had come to view as friends betrayed him in the worst possible way. They ignored him. He was truly alone.
Things were going down, never really up. And here she is now stuck in this stupid rut. She knew exactly what she had to do next. Just stand on that chair and tie the rope around her neck.
Within the week of Mitch openly coming out and starting to refer to himself as "her," Kirstin and Scott joined the rest of the young adults in taunting him. The teachers even joined in, ensuring there would be no escape for teen.
No, that's incorrect. There was an escape. And Mitch knew what he had to do.
She wrote a letter with her hands shaking wild. 'Look at me now, are you proud of your precious child'? But she knew that her parents weren't the ones to blame. It was the world that should bow down its head in shame. She stood up on the chair and looked out at the moon. Just don't think, it'll all be over soon. The chair fell down as she took her final breath. It's all over, all gone, now she's greeting death.
Mitch Grassi's organs may have stopped that day, but his soul had died years ago. The torment was unbearable, and no matter how hard he tried to find some sort of good in the world, there was none to be found.
Her Mum walks in; she falls down to the floor, and now nothing can take back what she just saw. The little girl that she raised is just hanging there. Her body's pale, and her face is violently bare. She sees the note and unfolds it with care. All she does is stare. 'How can this be fair'?
His mother found his body. She couldn't understand why her precious son had done something this drastic. He had taken his own life. He was gone forever. What had caused this? She realized she wasn't around a lot, but certainly she had made it clear she loved Mitch, her and her husband both. What had happened to her lovely young man?
She starts reading as the tears roll down her face. 'I'm sorry Mum, but this world is just not my place. I've tried for so long to fix this and fit in. I've come to realize this world's full of sin. There's nothing for me here; I'm just a waste of space. I've got no reason to stay here with this awful race. It's a disgrace; I was misplaced - born in the wrong time and in the wrong place. It's okay though, 'cause you'll see me soon. You'll know when your time has come, just look at the moon as it shines bright, throughout the night. And remember everyone's facing their own fight. But I can't deal with the pain; I'm not a fighter. You'll make it through the night, just hug your pillow tighter. So let the world know, that I died in vain because the world around me is the one to blame. And I know in a year, you'll forget I'm gone. 'Cause I'm not really something to be dwelled on. That's what they use to tell me, all those kids at school. So I'm going by the law majority rules. My presence on this earth is not needed any longer. And if anything, I hope this makes you stronger. You're the best friend that I ever had. Such a shame I had to make you so very sad. But just remember that you meant everything to me, and to my heart, you're the only one that held the key. Now it's time to go; I'm running out of space to write. And yes I lost my fight, but please just hold on tight. I'm watching over you from the clouds above, and sending down the purest and whitest dove to watch over you and be my helpful eye. So this is it world.
Goodbye'."
