You were mine once

Ahhh Chapter 26

I want to go back to the nights where my dreams werent more realistic than reality. Back where I was unconditionally happy with life. Happy with friends, family, and the world. The world was a smile in my eyes. Everything was perfect. Life kept me alive. I didn't worry about anything. It was all so simple. Life was easy. It was like innocents meant peace. Filled with laughter, enjoyment, and pages left unwritten.

But then you turn a sharp corner. Paranoia. It truly makes one sick to your stomach. You appetite is out the window. Your smile is demolished. How do you explain paranoia? It deeper than a worry. It like a set emotion you feel everyday. You feed it with lies and just pass by but without relief. There is no relief cause you never know when it will end.

Im tired. All the time. Just physically exhausted. Im falling asleep everywhere I go. After every time I eat, I instantly get tired and rush off to my bed to go fall asleep. Sleep is great but its taking up my whole day. I just sleep all the time. I just lay in my bed under my warm covers and rest my eyes and suddenly I get taken to a new reality. My dreams more realistic than life. Its a great escape but its become over whelming.

Im lost. I dont know where to go or what to do. I lost my map. I lost my compass. Im just so very lost and confused. What am I supposed to do?
Which way should I go? I don't know! Maybe im supposed to be lost. But i dont like it. Being lost and alone sucks ass.